Number Thirteen
by Brutal-Bugaboo
Summary: AU. OOC. If only Ciel had left earlier.If only he had not picked no.13.Perhaps he wouldn't have fallen hostage to 5 men robbing the bank.A hostage turns into kidnapping.When meeting the criminal Sebastian,Ciel gets torn apart between admiration and disgust
1. Prologue Robbing

Started a new story. Also something I've had in my mind for quite some while now. I want to play around a bit with the Stockholm Syndrom.

If this is something that shocks you, please don't read. I like to play around with taboos.

Also some of Ciel's thoughts are similar to mine, haha. I guess I put a tiny bit of myself into him. OOC obviously.

Okay, enjoy and review! I'd like to know if I should continue this or not.

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**Prologue**

**The Robbing**

The clinking sound produced by the keys I had fetched from the table hastily, chimed loudly inside my head. I had been suffering from a headache ever since I had awoken this morning and I muttered to myself of how unusual it actually was. Even when a child I had never been one suffering from physical pains and illnesses all that much, except for the occasional sore throat and coughs.

But with my nineteen years of age, one could guess it was about time to start suffering like an adult. The stressful life of having a job and an apartment to take care off, not to mention finding the time and desire to meet up with friends, could be tiring to say the least. And with that I brushed off the headache as a side effect of stress starting to kick in.

Alongside the physical pain there was a knot in my stomach… A strange sensation coursed through my body. A feeling I could only describe as anxiety. My instinct seemed to cry for me to watch out, to flee or to fight. But for what?

A frown fell on my youthful face as I closed the door behind me and locked it. I felt odd. I had never experienced this before. But I believed that it probably was the catch for having slept only five hours after a tiring party with the family… Not to mention the amount of wine I had gulped down to block out the awkward 'so how's love?' from uncles and aunts. A hangover. Yes, most certainly a hangover.

Soft fingers brushed the messy slate grey bangs out of my eyes before I quickly made my way down the flight of stairs. My pace quick and smooth as I had gone up and down the steps countless times before. Having lived here a year with an elevator broken to never be repaired, hadn't left me much of a choice to begin with.

It was a bright looking Monday as I realized when stepping outside the apartment block. With squinted eyes I scowled at the sun for hurting my head, the brightness was ridiculous. Except for the odd feeling I was experiencing, my mood was okay, more than okay, as I had the day off. There was no such thing as Monday's Blues whenever the boss had granted you a lengthened weekend and I buried my hands in the pockets of my slightly tight jeans.

As I made my way to my destination I made sure to double check my pockets for my house keys (check), cell phone (check), wallet (check) and last but not least, the paper deposit I was about to made (… fuck). With a heavy groan, which made people on the streets nearby turn their heads, I turned back around to my block. A typical thing for me to do, needing one thing to bring with you for your destination and that being the only thing you actually forgot.

So I quickly dashed back inside, fetched the deposit, and before I knew I was back to scowling at the bright sun hurting my head.

The bank wasn't too far from my place, about a five minute walk, if I quickened the pace and soon enough I pushed open the large glass doors to enter the building. A slight pout rested on my lips by the sight of nearly a dozen people present inside and with slight remorse I fetched a number.

"Thirteen." I red out loud softly, grimacing slightly by the bad luck number. I wasn't really the superstitious kind of person, but still was wary for such strange details in life. It made me remember when a close friend of mine had called me only months ago. He had went at the doctor's, but because of the large amount of clients before him he had decided to leave and come back at an other time that day. He had not wanted to sit in the room, surrounded by awkward silences occasionally being broken by sickly coughs. And I recalled his last words as he had called me, perfectly and accurate.

"There's like a gazillion people before me, I'm gonna go fetch some Coke and come over at your place, 'kay?" I had happily agreed, never minding the visit of a good friend on my free afternoon. But, he never arrived at my place.

Later on I received the horrible news that he had gotten hit by a car. All help had come too late and all the while I had been thinking… Such bad timing. Such bad timing! If he had stayed at the doctor's… If he hadn't fetched that Coke and had come to me in one way… If I only had urged for him to stay at the doctor's, convincing him of how at any hour there would be a large amount of people in the waiting room.

A grimace fell on my face as I recalled the still fresh memory. Life was all about timing. Anything you'd do. Anything you'd say, would change the whole path of your life, without you even realizing. A scary thought, one could not indulge upon.

With a huff I sat down on the only free uncomfortable sterile white chair next to the entrance and stared blankly at the digital monitor. 'Five'… Ugh, I'd be here for such a long time and I promised myself to buy myself a cell phone on which you could surf the web once I had the money for it.

Whilst leaning my elbows on my spread knees I fumbled with the deposit in my hands, all the while thinking how a cigarette would be a great way to pass time. But of course I had forgotten the pack of Philip Morris at home. Typical me.

'Ding!' I slightly jumped by the loud electronic intrusion and watch the green letters change from 'five' to 'six'. Oh great, they're awake after all. With a surpressed mutter I started to tap my foot on the shiny black tiled floor and watch an average looking couple make their way to one of the counters. And boy did they take their time. Why was everyone so slow? I hadn't got all day after all… Well actually I did, but a precious Monday off was my time to spend as I pleased, and being at the bank in the first place was something I had to be doing last week.

When a sour looking middle-aged woman averted her eyes… her scowl towards me I realized my foot was still tapping on the floor. The black All Stars sneaker had created a rhythmic tapping in the silent building, which probably had been annoying to some. I stopped the movement after having scowled back at the woman before muttering under my breath that they should at least install a radio in this place.

There were many things I disliked in this world, one of which was silence… No, 'awkward' silence. The other was the asocial attitude of today's society. Granted I was not the most outgoing type to begin with, but I highly disliked how one would shout an insult at your oddly colored hair, or at the tapping of your foot. Not a friendly face seemed to be at sight, these days, and I could only imagine what the world would be like in a couple of hundred years. Violent. Most probably.

I once again stroked slender fingers through my grayish blue hair and let out a silent sigh whilst leaning back in the uncomfortable chair. I wondered which 'handyman' exactly, had made such stiff chairs as the pain of my backbone hitting harsh plastic made it impossible for me to 'have a nice seat'. Or perhaps I should just eat some more.

My frame was skinny, to say the least, even though I wasn't a small eater. Not a pound had been added to my weight ever since I had hit fifteen and the boniness of my wrists, fingers and legs made people often doubt the fact if I was legal to have a beer. Carrying my identity card with me was something I would never forget ever again.

As I recalled another memory a few months ago, I snorted to myself. With a friend of mine I had gone out of town to a big party. It had been the worst night of my life since I had left my ID at home and was not even allowed to enter the building, let alone get some alcohol. With a snort I realized I did forget stuff at home… A LOT.

'Ding!' Number 'seven'… Another groan left my lips as I rested my head in my hands. This was going too slow! I disliked sitting still, being quiet, being useless, not doing anything. My fingers ruffled through my hair in annoyance and I ignored the inevitable mess my haircut surely looked like by now.

My 'style' had never been something I cared about that much. Mostly I dressed myself in black, an easy color. Black slightly tight pants, black tank top, black shirt, black and white sneakers. A few black bracelets around skinny pale wrists… And I was astonished that the simplicity of my style would turn heads. People seemed to call it… 'punk' or 'alternative'… Ridiculous of course, as I did not follow any fashion trends whatsoever. And if the older generation found this dressing style shocking, I wondered what would happen when being confronted with the pierced and tattooed variation of black dressed kids.

Another snort left my lips. Another thing that seemed to bother people were the huffs and puffs that escaped my lips every now and then. It seemed that society just wanted you to walk around in a bubble. And don't you dare to smile or whistle! Such an odd thing… humanity and all that.

'BANG!' A few people around me yelped and I jumped in my seat to turn around towards the loud noise I had heard behind me. My blue eyes blinked rapidly by the sight, not sure if I was seeing things right.

My breathing hitched and body tensed as I watched three, no… five men run inside. They were dressed completely in black, combat boots making their steps loud and thumping. They wore black ski masks or balaclavas, I wasn't sure of the difference. The most frightening part of all were the rifle guns they held in their gloved hands. They swung the weapons in threat and shouted words to the mass of hysteric people.

The sudden implosion of screams, shouts and absolute chaos made my mind block itself out and all I could do was stare at the scenery in absolute shock. This could not be happening!

"Hey you!" It took a few seconds before I realized one of the robbers was shouting at me. I blinked rapidly trying to get back into the current event and to remember what he had said. He walked towards me, his pace quick and threatening.

"Get on the fucking floor!" He shouted, his voice deep and all American as he neared towards me, rifle swaying in front of his chest. I then noticed that everyone on the building was lying on the floor, hands on the back of their heads as they rested on their bellies. The endless noise of sobs and whimpers felt disgusting to my senses.

"I-I…" I startled, knowing I should get on the floor but fear numbed me and the way he got closer made me afraid to move a muscle. Fearing he would hit me on the head with the black metal gun the moment I let him out of my sight.

"Didn't you hear me?" He shouted and as he stopped in front of me, raised the heavy looking rifle into the air, aiming the back of it towards me face. The clicking sound of the metal sounded eerie in my ears but it was the sound that made me snap out of my hazed state. The way the man paused midair informed that he would wait only a second for me to get down, but it still was a second.

I mumbled incoherent words, the uncomfortable feeling of pulsations in the back of my throat and the rushing of blood in my ears numbed my senses even more. As I plumped down on the floor I noticed how I could not even feel my body, endorphins numbed not only my mind but also my body. My knees hit the tiles with a loud thud and in the back of my mind I knew that should've hurt.

With an empty head I lay down on the floor quickly, my hands shaking as they folded behind my head and I watch with great relief how the combat boots in front of me turn around to walk back to some of the other men.

Vaguely I noticed how the bank was getting robbed and hope filled me the closer they got to leaving. If I'd just lay low, not out a word, not fight back, then they'd leave with the money and I would just be left with an incurable trauma. I had seen this shit enough in movies, just… don't fucking move!

"FUCK!" One of the men shouted, but I didn't dare to look up to follow the scenery with my eyes.

"What? What?" A slightly deeper voice replied.

"The fucking cops! Did you call the fucking pigs, you fucking bitch? Huh? Did you?" The screaming of a female followed and I turned my head only half an inch to watch what was happening.

One of the guys had seized a receptionist by the collar and shook her violently as she pleaded for him to let her go and as she promised she hadn't done anything.

He then suddenly, and out of nowhere, hit the girl in her face with the end of his rifle. The cracking sound, along with her yelp and the drips of blood splattering out her mouth made my insides crawl. Nausea built up rapidly and I quickly squeezed my eyes shut, swallowing vomit rapidly. My heartbeat sounded deafening into my ears and I panted heavily, fearing I'd might pass out.

Please… please just fucking leave this place. Please don't kill me.

"Fuck! No! We've come this far! Get a hostage!"

"What?"

"Just get one, you fucking moron! There's no other way!" The thumps of footsteps sounded all around the place and I couldn't even locate them as they tripled around nervously.

"Which one?" A panicked voice asked.

"Just get one, doesn't fucking matter!" More footsteps.

"Get that kid nearest to you. Quick!" Even though I had feared the possibility of my bad luck, the small paper with 'thirteen' on it, still tightly grasped in my hand, I had never thought about the unthinkable. Until, that is, a hand suddenly grabbed both my wrists and started to pull me up harshly.

"Get up, kid! Fucking hurry!" Astonishment struck all my senses and I failed to breath as I opened my eyes whilst being pulled up onto my feet. I immediately got pulled back against a chest, my wrists still constricted by strong gloved hands behind my back. The man holding me swung his rifle on his back before fumbling somewhere on his leg. Before I realized, cold metal pressed against my throat. A knife.

A groan left my lips and again I squeezed my eyes shut, arching my throat slightly as I pressed my head back against the man's shoulder, to get as far away from the knife as I could. Futile, of course.

"Okay, let's go!." Suddenly the guy kicked my leg, not too harshly, but firmly enough to make me move. We stepped outside rather slow and as the glass doors closed behind us I took in the sight of cop cars on the middle of the streets. Doors opened wide as policemen took cover behind the opened windows, pointing hand guns towards the six of us.

"Hold it! They got a hostage!" One of them, I could only recognize as a chief, shouted whilst raising a hand up in the air. Motioning for everyone to lower their guns.

No… No, fucking shoot the guys! Can't they just sniper the guy behind me? I did it a million times before in the first person shooters I played in the weekends. This couldn't be that hard right? They had to do something! If they took me with them, I'd be dead bait!

Sweat rolled over my forehead and a whimper left my lips when the man holding me started to move once again. The knife pressed more urgently against my throat and I could feel blood trickle over my pale skin.

The other criminals ran towards a black van a couple of meters further and as they opened the back of it they shouted at the guy behind me to get over there. The man behind me made sure to have my body aimed towards the cops at all times as he made his way over to the other men.

When nearing the conspicuous looking van, I held back the urge to trash my legs around and try to escape. I wanted to fight, to save myself but I realized there was no chance for me. If I'd even so moved a muscle, surely I'd get shot in the brain. Or my throat would be slit like a pig's.

The man behind me stumbled inside the van awkwardly and before I realized he had thrown me inside, the doors closed immediately.

Free from my constrictions I was able to keep balance of my seated body when the vehicle left with screeching tires. The impact of its speed made my body want to flung forwards against the doors but I managed to stay seated on the floor of the van.

This couldn't be happening right? This couldn't be!

It took a while before a part of my shock subsided and I noticed the three men seated on the small benches alongside the vehicle's walls. They stared at me silently, one of them leaning his hands casually on one edge of his rifle, as the other edge balanced on the floor. A gulp sounded loudly.

"Your cell, kid." One of the guys spoke, his voice slightly raspy as he reached out the gloved palm of his hand. It took a time before I realized what he meant, but when it hit me I fumbled into my back pocket quickly.

I thanked the numb state of my mind, preventing me from fighting or screaming or doing anything stupid. I placed the cell phone into his palm and watched with a grimace how the guy threw it out the van quickly… I suppose he had done this for tracking purposes.

The lack of police sirens confused me and the only thing I could come up with was that perhaps they had requested a price on my head. I didn't care… I just wanted to block out the current situation as much as possible.

"Hey kid. Come sit on the bench." One of the men spoke as he tapped a seat next to him. I could see lips smirk throughout the black fabric of his ski mask. Too afraid to deny, I raised myself on shaky legs and plumped down awkwardly beside him. Luckily enough he left me alone.

Nervously I listen to the three men chatting. Talking about nonsense, everyday nonsense and not the slightest thing they spoke of could be used against them. A grimace fell on my face and I ducked my head, burying both hands between my legs.

I couldn't believe this… I should've gone to the bank last week, as I had originally planned too. I should not have forgotten the deposit… I would've arrived earlier… and as I had done so I would perhaps have gotten an other seat than the one next to the entrance. Then that guy would not have stood closest to me and I would not have been the choice of hostage… I should… have… not been number thirteen. Such bad timing.

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Yay, thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think!


	2. The Meeting

I'm too tired to reread this. So apologies for any... 'failures'

This story seems to be loved by lotsof you. I'm so glad!

Thanks for the review and the story alerts! It makes me so happy.  
Please keep reviewing, I'm finding this one the most difficult to write at the moment, so reviews are so needed!

Also. Any cool ideas for this story? Let me know! I don't have a plot idea just yet for this one.  
I'll credit you, of course.

Okay, enjoy reading and please review, thank you!

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**Chapter 1**

_The Meeting_

The numb state that had washed over me ever since the confrontation with the five criminals had not subsided whatsoever. I had no idea of how much time had passed sitting in that van, but after what seemed for hours the car came to a smooth halt.

The three men whom joined me in the back of the black vehicle groaned in delight as they started to stretch their bodies. As far as this was possible with such a low roof hanging above our heads.

"That took ages, man." One of them complained with a sigh before he made way to the double doors in the back.

"My ass is sleeping…" Joked an other, a few chuckles symphonized before the doors rolled open. To my greatest surprise it was dark outside and the cold night air rolled inside smoothly.

"Hey, shouldn't we cuff the kid?" The three men halted in their positions and I cringed as they all eyed me for a moment in silence.

"Nah… Look at that pale face, he's about to pass out. No way that kid's gonna fight any of us. Just hold his wrists 'till we get inside." My mouth felt dry and my heartbeat seemed to be nonexistent as I took in the ease of how they talking about me. The whole ride I had felt groggy and dozed. Luckily enough no panic had yet roamed throughout my body nor mind.

Shock. I was in absolute shock. And even though there wasn't a religious bone inside of me, I thanked the gods for the ability of the 'shock' state which humans experienced when put in traumatic events.

"Yeah, 'kay. This fucking mask is itching like fuck!" The male whom walked towards me, scratched his black clothed face furiously before gesturing me to stand up. He smoothly swung his rifle on his back and awaited my reply, rather patiently.

With a gulp, on which I almost choked because of the lack of fluid in my system, I raised myself on wobbly knees. I stumbled towards him awkwardly as I felt more weak than I intentionally had thought.

"Easy there, kid." The much taller man swiftly caught me before I could fall and supported me until my sense of balance and gravity came back to me.

"Hey! Don't treat him like a baby. He's a fucking hostage, remember?" The guy who was now outside the vehicle growled towards us. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized I had heard the word 'fuck' about seventy times that day alone.

The other male whom was still inside, followed his 'friend's example and jumped out the car. A chuckle had left his lips.

"It wasn't planned like this! The boss' gonna beat us to a bloody pulp if he finds out." Said the male holding me before he took my wrists in his hand and started to guide me to the opened doors. I obediently followed him. There was not a single thing I could do. The amount of weapons and criminals all around me erased any heroic plans out of my brain with much ease.

"Just shut the fuck up before you give that kid any crucial information, you moron!" The male whom had left the vehicle the first grumbled towards him. He seemed to be the grumpiest or most rational of them all.

We jumped out the van and soon met up with the other two males whom had been seated in the front.

"Anyone followed us?" The 'rational' guy asked as we all paused in our tracks. We stood in front of what seemed to be a huge warehouse, in the middle of nowhere. All around us were fields and in the distance I thought I could witness a forest. Yet it was too dark to be sure of this. I had no idea where I was.

"Nope. Been driving alone on the road for the last couple of hours. No helicopters either." A few men nodded before we continued in our tracks. The sound of combat boots crunching on gravel filled the night sky, along with the clicks and clacks of the rifles they wore loosely on their shoulders.

A shiver ran down my spine. I wasn't sure if it was because of the cold or because of the eerie atmosphere around me.

"What about the kid?" One of the guys whom had sat in the front asked. He scratched on his clothed cheek with a grunt. All of them having seemed to have developed a rash because of wearing the ski-masks for hours.

"What about him?" The man holding my wrists tightly spoke. Mister 'rational' opened the gigantic garage door. The noise of metal pressed my ears harshly and I unknowingly held my breath. We entered the building before the gate got closed behind us.

"Caused any trouble?" Light flickered harshly, the clinging sounds echoed throughout the space, before eventually brightness was cast over us.

We were inside a huge industrial hall. Not a single brick was to be detected as all the walls seemed to have been made of thick metal. A few expensive looking cars were parked in the furthest right corner. The black color and lack of license plates made them look all that more suspicious, not to mention the black tinted windows. In the furthest left corner stood a giant pile of wooden crates and cardboard boxes. Some of them said 'FRAGILE' on them.

The place was huge… one private jet could be parked with much ease inside of here, if not two. To the far left of the hall was a metal staircase that led to a closed door made of the same material.

"None at all." The male behind me answered, his grip on my wrists loosened slightly but I wasn't stupid enough to move. The rifle hanging on his back was too far out of my reach to try anything stupid, such as taking the guy himself hostage.

"Smart kid…" One of the drivers spoke and gazed at me shortly over his shoulder. His eyes squinted as if he was grinning before he turned back around.

This was fucking insane… I was still waiting to wake up from this nightmare, but it seemed to last. I just hope they had put a ransom on my head and someone would quickly pay it.

"Alright guys. Where we gonna put him?" One of the men I hadn't labeled yet spoke as he swung the weapon from his shoulder and placed it against the wall next to the crates. A violent scratching session on his followed swiftly after.

"Because I swear to god, if I got to keep these fucking things on a second longer… I'll go mad." The men chuckled in amusement as his scratching only increased in furiousness. And all I could think was… How in the world could they get more mad than this? They acted as if it was a normal thing to do. Rob a bank. Kidnap a boy. Walk around with loaded guns.

"Uhm. Cuff him to the radiator in the boss' office." One of the drivers spoke before stretching his arms above his head. A loud 'pop' from his back, echoed from the metal walls.

"Are you retarded? The fucking guy will murder us if he finds him there!" The voice above me spoke in slight panic and I could feel his grip tightening with tension.

"Boss ain't here, now is he? He won't be back 'till next week. Just cuff him there. Get some blankets and food from the backroom." He answered with a dramatic motion of his arm before dashing away under the staircase. He then disappeared as he went through a door I had not noticed before.

With a displeased grunt he led me to the staircase and went upstairs slowly. I found it hard to motion my feet right and a few stumbles resulted. Yet the man whom held me hostage made sure to keep a firm hold on my wrists and pulled me up before I could trip, with much ease.

I could not believe that I wasn't doing anything. Why wasn't I panicking? Why wasn't I crying? Shouting? Fighting? Asking him for anything? Any information of what was going to happen to me… But I couldn't. I could not out a single emotion or word. I could only stumble and breathe heavily.

As he opened the door with a key he then took me inside. Again the ticks of lights sounded throughout the office before the darkness disappeared.

It looked like any normal office as I had seen in my life so far. Yet it seemed to resemble more of a psychiatrist office instead of a for example, principle's one. The main reason for this was the black leather loveseat in the corner of the room. It looked rather tacky in contrast to the stiff modern assemble of the rest of the room.

As the guy behind me started to fumble in one of his pockets I narrowed my eyes. Desperately I wanted to read what it said on the large amount of books on the white bookshelves, modernly attached to the metal wall. The desk which was placed in the middle was made of a rich and deep brown wood. Behind it stood a large black chair. The texture the same as the one of the sofa. And next to the small amount of office utilities and another door next to the loveseat, nothing else seemed to fill the office.

"Before I cuff you. Do you need to go to the bathroom?" I stirred as he asked me a question. His raspy voice was friendly… But the position I was in demanded of me to be suspicious and hateful towards him and the rest. I nodded as a reply.

Perhaps this was my shot? I remembered all the movies I had watched in the past where one would be taken hostage and escape 'gracefully' through one of the ridiculously tiny windows of bathrooms… I ignored the fact that they mostly got dragged back inside as they were halfway out.

The man led me to the door I had noticed earlier, next to the tacky sofa and pushed me inside rather harshly. A huff left my lips as I held back a yelp and with surprise I watch the man close the door behind me. He was leaving me alone? That's a stupid thing to do!

But when I took in the bathroom I noticed there was nothing for him to be afraid off. There was literally just a toilet and sink. And that's that. Not a single tile or pipe hung loosely for me to grab as weapon. Not to mention the absence of the ideal escaping window. Not even a towel, mirror, anything really.

After I had relieved myself I sat myself on the toilet seat and took a shuddering breath. This couldn't be happening… It still hadn't penetrated my mind. The absolute horror of the current situation still hadn't been implanted properly into my brain. And again I asked myself why I wasn't crying or panicking.

There was nothing I could do… Acting like a hero would be an ignorant thing to do, and I'd get killed without a doubt.

As I stayed for various minutes in that bathroom, my mind started to race. My mother, my father, my friends… How would they be dealing with me having been taken hostage? Were they even aware of this? Had the police informed them? As far as I knew there was no way they would be able to know who I was… Unless someone had by now called the cops for ransom. Or perhaps even called family for ransom. A shiver ran down my spine. I just hoped my close ones were safe and unworried.

What was going to happen to me? Surely they hadn't planned for me to be taken hostage. Nor anyone else for that matter. So what… Would they just kill me and dump me somewhere in a forest? Or would they be patient or even humane?

"Hey kid." A knock chimed through the small room before the man spoke.

With a shivering sigh I raised myself from the seat and went outside. Without any words further spoken, the tall male cuffed one of my hands to the radiator against the wall next to the sofa. The chain length was far longer than those of normal cuffs and I could easily seat myself on the chair.

"Someone's going to bring you some blankets and food tonight. See ya, kid." With a wave from his hand, that started from the top of his head into the air, he left swiftly and closed the door behind him.

To my own surprise I started to doze off quickly when seated in the soft comfortable chair. I got awoken by the clicking sound of a door being unlocked and worriedly I watch the office door open.

A slim man entered the room. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a simple black T-shirt. A scarf covered his mouth and nose. I couldn't spot many wrinkles around his ice blue eyes and decided he could not be older than his late twenties. His blond hair was cut short and worn messily.

Our eyes met awkwardly as he walked towards me with a blanket draped over one long tanned arm, his free hand carried a plate of food.

He threw the piece of white cloth onto my lap before handing me the plate with one bony hand. His eyebrows furrowed when I hesitated to take it from him.

"Take it." He mumbled and I recognized his voice vaguely. I had heard it before in the van but wasn't too sure of whom it had been.

With a scowl I broke our eye contact. No way I would eat that food. It was probably poisoned or something. And if not… It would be a smart thing to refuse eating. If they had a price on my head I could try and starve myself so they got more pressured to release me… The corner of my right eye started to twitch slightly at the unreal and even movie like thoughts in my mind.

A puff exited the young man's mouth before he placed the plate on the radiator next to the loveseat.

"Aight. Your call, kid." He sighed and turned back around. I bit my lip harshly to prevent any words from slipping my mouth. I was too tired, too traumatized to think clearly. To act rationally.

So there I sat. A fluffy blanket on my lap, a stressed expression on my face as I watched the male leave and turn off the lights.

Alone… With my thoughts. With the scent of the food next to me. With nothing but darkness embracing me.

…

A bright light was the first thing that woke me up. I blinked harshly at the violent intrusion to my sleepy and sensitive lids and whilst squinting I tried to peek around. My blurry vision allowed me to watch a tall black clothed figure slam the door shut behind him. The slam made me jump in my seat and I subconsciously started to crawl against the back of the chair.

"Who the fuck are you?" A deep voice roared throughout the small office and my heart thumped harshly by the dangerous atmosphere and situation.

I quickly remembered my current situation and as my eyes finally adjusted to the light I stared at the man in front of me. He looked rather bewildered.

His tall and slim frame was dressed in a tailored black suit, an ironic contrast with the messy long black hair. The tips of the strands reached chin length and a bony large hand trembled as it stroked through his hair, only increasing the messy state.

With a loud gulp I watched him take long steps towards me. The rage that distorted his face didn't hide the fact that he was a very handsome man. His long face was blessed with the most perfect bone structures one could wish for. High cheekbones, strong jaw lines and a straight nose. His cat like eyes were colored an unique crimson-like tone and they glistened dangerously as they got narrowed. Lastly I noticed the full lips surrounding a wide mouth which now clenched in aggression.

My daydreaming made me unaware of how close he had gotten and I yelped as a large hand grabbed my collar. He pulled me from the chair violently and with a growl he lowered his face.

It was then that I noticed the ridiculous length of the tall male. He towered over me, his broad shoulders casted a shadow over my small frame and as he bended down to meet me at eyelevel he still had to pull me up. I stood on the tips of my toes and my free hand shakingly pressed against his chest to prevent myself from falling into him. My other hand was pulled back by the construction of the cuff.

I held my breath as my heart pounded in my chest. His nose pressed against mine and I flinched visibly.

"What are you doing here? Who are you? Who took you here?" I opened my lips but could only yap like a fish on dry land. His crimson eyes broke contact with my blue ones before gazing down at my lips, trying desperately to explain anything, everything.

"Today please!" He sneered and with a hard shove I landed back into the chair behind me. Whilst panting harshly I watched the tall mysterious man pace around nervously. His hand continuously brushing through the strands of raven black hair.

"I-I am a hostage." I whimpered nervously. Fearing that this was the boss they had been talking about earlier.

My heart skipped a beat when the male turned his back towards me only for a second, but long enough for me to notice the handgun sticking behind his belt. The edge of his suit jacket clumsily had gotten stuck between his lower back and the gun. Immediately I regretted having spoken.

"You're WHAT?" He shouted as he flung towards me like a crazy man. Again I yelped and crawled into the chair more securely.

But mid-attack he seemed to change his mind and I fearsomely watch him fumble his pants pocket, only seconds later a black phone got pulled out and after a few swift swiped of his fingers he placed the object against his right ear.

His foot tapped onto the floor. His free hand rested on a narrow hip and fingers drummed rapidly onto his belt. An occasional glance towards me prevented me from outing any words.

"Yeah? Yes, hello!" The man started to pace around once again. A very stereotypical thing to do for people on the phone.

"What's the deal with the hostage? Hm?" A pause and I vaguely heard a panicking voice on the other edge of the phone.

"No you do-… You fu-. SHUT UP! … You get your ugly ass over here RIGHT NOW!… Why? WHY? So I can blow your fucking brains out, that's why! You son of a b-… NOW. I give you five minutes!" With a growl he threw the phone on the desk and now buried both hands into his hair. He scratched his head furiously as he continued mumbling and cursing under his breath.

The silence and atmosphere felt so thick and so heavy I thought I was about to choke. My body stayed tense for what seemed hours. I didn't dare to move a muscle, I didn't dare to out a single word.

And oh so grateful I was that the man in front of me seemed to occupied with his own thoughts to notice my presence.

Only a few minutes later a man came bursting inside, he panted harshly, stroking a hand through his neat brown hair.

"S-Sebastian! I can explain!" The dark haired man named Sebastian blew out an angry growl as he now grabbed the other with the collar and shoed him against a wall harshly.

"Shut the hell up! You idiot! Now the kid knows my name AND how we look. The fuck were you thinking not wearing a mask and calling me by my name! WHAT THE HELL AM I PAYING YOU FOR?" With wide eyes I watch Sebastian pull out the gun from his belt and raise it to the frightened looking male placed against the wall.

"N-no Sebastian. I-I'm s-so fucking sorry! I-I can explain! Really!" His voice broke as fear rose and I watched in absolute shock at the scenery in front of me… No… way.

* * *

See? I'm not THAT evil... At least I didn't wait 8 chapter to include the Sebastian.

Thanks for reading and please review! Thanks lots, lovies.


	3. The Deadline

FINALLY! I actually just wrote it in about two hours. I started to write and suddenly ideas popped in my mind and I'm pretty glad with what I came up with.

Oh Sebastian's such an ass in this one, I love it! I also love to curse like a sailor in this fic. Because criminals always curse... in movies they do.

Aaaaanyway. THANK YOU THANK YOU THAAAAANK YOUUUU for the awesome reviews! This story is getting so much love! Thank you soooo much! I love reading those reviews so much and even though I rarely reply to them, you must know that I read them all and even reread some of them. And they all make me smile and make me remember that you guys are looking forward to my updates. Again, BIIIIG thank you!

ps, I didn't reread, so apologies for any mistakes.

Okay, enjoy reading! and please keep reviewing my lovies!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**The Deadline**

"You better start praying kid. Because I'm loving the thought of seeing some brains splattered against that clean wall behind you." A shiver rolled down my spine by the sickening threat and a little voice in my brain screamed for me to cover my eyes. That I would never be able to handle such traumatic sights as a cold blooded murder. But I couldn't… I sat in that loveseat, my heart thumping loudly, skipping beats erratically, my breathing nonexistent as my lungs just couldn't expand because of the tension on my chest and ribs. I couldn't move… I couldn't blink. Please… Please don't shoot him.

"S-Sebastian, I-I-I…" The man took a deep breath before continuing.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. I… I mean. This kid… You can use him, right? I mean, something good can come out of this don't you think? I-I'm sorry really… But…" Silence lingered between them and the brunette continued with a weak whimper.

"… Look at it from the bright side… Yeah?" With the distance between them and myself I wasn't too sure, but I thought I had witnessed a twitching of Sebastian's devilish eyebrow before his expression changed into a sneer. Sharp looking canines got bared for a second before he spoke with thick underlying sarcasm.

"Go on, dipshit." The gun he had been pressing against his forehead for the last minutes got lowered only slightly, it still pointed dangerously towards the man's chin but as the brunette, I sighed by the slightly lightened atmosphere.

"… R-ransom." I grimaced by the poor idea. It was obvious by the way the brown haired male was squirming and stuttering that he was making up things on the spot. Sebastian snorted, a cold sound that made both me and the other 'victim' flinch.

"Tch… Silly man. Why would I risk having a kid for ransom? That will only cause me trouble. It'll only bring the cops closer. Why not cut his throat like a pig and dump him in the dessert…?" A nauseating feeling rose from my stomach to my throat and I gagged as fear and disgust overwhelmed me. How could he be talking like this? How could he mention slaughtering a human being? This man was absolutely mad and I had to get out of here!

"W-well… The cops are already aware of him being kidnapped… So when he disappears, they'll be looking for us either way. Maybe with ransom we can make some deals with them?" Sebastian sighed and finally released the man's collar. He slumped down a few inches before balancing himself on the wall behind, his knees were obviously wobbling and with a shaking hand he embraced his throat. Red streaks covered his slightly tanned skin, the fabric of the thorn clothing had left some skin burns.

"You never make deals with the cops. It's rule number seven." The brunette shamefully looked down onto his shoes as Sebastian had confronted him with 'the rule'.

I stirred and sweat started to break out when the 'boss' suddenly observed me from the corner of his eye. His orbs narrowed before he tugged the gun back behind his belt. The fellow 'victim' and myself sighed almost in harmony. As long as that gun was out of the picture it was all fine for me… Even though it could easily gotten pulled back into the scenery.

"What's your name?" Sebastian spoke with a scowl on his face, lips firmly pressed close. My brain started to race around, not certain if I should be honest and tell my real name, or if I should lie for future causes. In the end I decided to answer truthfully, not wanting to be confronted with a lie by this man.

"C-Ciel." My voice trembled and was barely audible in the silent room.

"What can you offer me?" Whilst trying to process the odd question I thought I had spotted a slight smirk on his lips but wasn't too sure about it in the end. Sebastian brushed another bony hand through his raven locks as he walked closer towards me. Subconsciously my body crawled further into the back of the large seat and I cowered as he bended over towards me. I feared he would hit me, choke me, punch me or shoot me. But the fact that he seemed to be unreadable as far as emotions went… was the most frightening. This man could explode at any given time, with no warning signals whatsoever. Right?

A trembling gasp left my dry lips as the man grabbed my chin harshly. His dark hazed orbs narrowed as he turned my face sideways, inspecting every inch of skin. What the hell was he doing?

"You think we can sell him to Lau?" Finally he turned my face back towards him and as he spoke those words our eyes locked. I held my breath as he seemed to try to search inside me something I wasn't aware of. Somehow it felt intimate, not in a good way though, but at that time I had forgotten everything around me, my mind had went blank.

"… I think he'd bring up a lot. With that face… those eyes… Even that oddly colored hair." The brunette answered with a bit too much of praising to my likings.

"Tsk, idiot. His hair could be dyed… And what are you, in love? Fucking gay ass." Sebastian smirked as he spoke to the other man, his eyes still locked onto mine… But I wasn't sure if his expression was meant for me or him.

"S-sorry…" He mumbled shamefully and the 'boss' released my chin with a sigh. As he turned back to the unnamed man my body functions finally started working again. When Sebastian had held my face like that, eyes drilling into mine, my breathing had stopped and it had felt as if my heart and blood had quit their movements as well. Obviously it had been because of the fear.

Now that I could think straight again, I finally realized what they had said. _'Sell him to Lau' … _What were they talking about? I perked my ears nervously as I had no idea what was going on at all.

"But he's in China for business for another month, what'll we do with him in the meanwhile" I jumped in surprise when Sebastian slapped his hand on the man's mouth roughly. The smack had sounded loud in the eerie room.

"Could you fucking SHUT UP? You idiot, let's take it outside, fucking moron. Fuck!" Sebastian shoved the brunette outside and with a loud slam I was left alone inside.

This didn't sound good at all. Sell me? Another month? Why wouldn't they just fucking release me? Well, obviously enough I had a bit of information on them… And even though I could promise them I'd tell no one anything that had happened here, they wouldn't believe me. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why in the hell did this happen to me? What was the reason for this? Surely I couldn't die at this young age? There was so much more to see and do in this life. I could not become another nameless victim on the daily news. No!

* * *

I wasn't too sure of how long I had been here. In this office, in this chair. Without clocks or windows for me to see daylight, I was unaware of how much time had passed since Sebastian had shoved the brunette outside so violently. Were they talking about me now? Maybe the whole group was talking about me? Perhaps my life was being decided at this very moment. Would I live, would I die… And most importantly, would life be worth living if they were in control of it?

When the door got unlocked I stirred into my seat and with big eyes watched for whom would enter. Physically and mentally I cringed when taking in the sight of the 'boss'. He was still wearing his suit, but his tie hung loosely in a messy knot that had gotten tugged furiously before. His hair had gotten even messier if that were possible and with a dramatic sigh he plumped down onto the chair behind the desk.

I held my breath and didn't dare to move as I observed Sebastian burying his head in both his hands as his elbows leaned on the wooden desk. He rubbed a few times, heavy displeased grunts and sighs distorted against his skin before one of his eyes peeked through the opening of his fingers. I gulped.

"You need to get out of my office, kid." I nodded like an idiot, wanting to get out of here desperately, away from this ticking time bomb… But I didn't dare confront him with the very obvious handcuff that tied me to the radiator.

"Get out." … I blinked when the dangerous growl left his lips, his words muffled behind hands. Was he being serious? Wasn't he ware I was chained? Should I tell him? I didn't dare to so I just awkwardly moved my wrist around slightly, the soft clinging sound of the chain would hopefully brighten the fucked up brain inside that thick skull.

With a grunt he dragged his hands over his face. The way those bony long fingers slid over the pale skin of his face made a shiver run up my spine and I frowned at the odd feeling. Trauma. Shock. Disbelief.

"Are you deaf?" He scowled as he placed his palms onto the desk and motioned to raise himself from his chair. This movement made me raise my cuffed arm in no time and with a high pitched voice I replied quickly.

"I-I'm chained!" One of his well shaped eyebrows cocked up in a sarcastic expression and he stopped in his motions. He had half gotten up, his hands leaned on the desk, his body had risen from the chair and this made his tall figure bend forwards over the furniture. The way his shoulders cocked up, his head lowered slightly, broad chest expanded made him look VERY similar to a predator ready to launch at his prey. Goosebumps appeared on my pale skin.

"I know that, you fool. Get out." … What? What the hell was he talking about? I wasn't too sure if trauma and fear was distorting his words or my idea of being stuck and I started to sweat nervously.

"I-I can't… I'm… I'm chained to the radiator." I nearly whispered, my voice was raspy by the lack of fluid and sleep and it made a few syllables disappear… I just hoped he had understood what I had said.

"Fucking escape then, you lowlife wuss. I give you five minutes." With that he sat back down on his chair and pulled out a drawer, he then placed a few papers on his desk and started to write down feverously.

With my jaw dropped I stared at the brut in front of me. He had dismissed my presence swiftly and slowly I began to realize that I had to get out of here before the five minutes had passed. He was going to blow my brains out! How in the world could I escape? What? How? Fuck!

Awkwardly I tugged my wrist, the sound of metal hitting metal filled the silent room next to the scribbling of his pen. No way, no way, no way!

I tugged harder and grunted as the hard material hurt my bony wrist. Again I pulled, hissing this time by the pain. My heart started to race and I panted slightly as I jumped off the loveseat and grabbed my cuffed arm with my free hand. I jerked as hard as I could but the material was too strong and the only thing I ended up doing was hurting my wrist.

"Four minutes." Sebastian called out without removing his eyes from the papers and I felt the floor beneath me drop out. Shit! Tugging didn't seem to work so I had to change my tactic and quick.

I stumbled towards the radiator and dropped on my knees, then quickly inspected the other side of the cuff attached on one of the pipes. I grabbed the chain and started to pull, hoping that the metal or the pipe would break. A loud groan fell from my lips as I used all my strength, but nothing happened.

At that time I cursed all the times I had skipped breakfasts, I had not went to the gym, I had not worked out, I had eaten take-away and slugged in the couch for hours each night. If only I had been a jug!

"Three minutes." I had to unlock it! I looked around quickly, stumbling to my feet, searching for a small sharp object to pick the lock with. When I couldn't find anything I decided pathetically that perhaps a thin piece of porcelain would do and I threw the plate of food that had been given to me last night, onto the floor.

My heart rate had never been this high, I was literally experiencing a 'deadline' and with shaking hands I grabbed the thinnest and longest piece of porcelain I could find on the floor. Desperately I poked the small keyhole of the cuff on the radiator. I fumbled clumsily but kept shifting the sharp piece into the metal, but the only thing that happened was that the piece of plate crumbled and the metal of the cuff got scratched only a little.

"Two minutes… I'll give you a tip." I panted, my eyes opened wide and my head felt as if it floated into nothingness. Sebastian's voice sounded dull because of the blood rushing into my ears and shakingly I looked over my shoulder towards him. He was still eying the papers beneath.

"It is not the cuff nor the radiator you need to manipulate." The cryptic riddle echoed inside my mind and I rapidly tried to think of what he had meant.

"Fuck! I d-don't get it!" I whined miserably and tears started to whelm up as Sebastian calmly placed his gun on his desk before continuing to write.

Damn! This couldn't be happening! I was going to die. He was going to kill me… He was going to punch me, break me… He… Break. Breaking my bones… Shifting… changing.

And then it hit me. The riddle he had spoken was all clear to me now.

"I… have to dislocate my thumb." I whispered to myself as I stared at my cuffed hand. That was it… If it was dislocated I could easily manipulate the finger into the palm of my hand and then I'd be able maneuver the metal over my hand. The only thing that prevented to construction from coming off was that idiotic thick bone of my thumb… I just had to shift it…

"Fuck…" Another whisper left my lips.

"One and a half." I bit on my bottom lip and ignored the sting in the back of my nose and the corners of my eyes. I could do this. Dislocation wasn't that painful, right? It was just… me doing it that made it disgustingly anticipating. If I would just have an accident resulting into the dislocation, it wouldn't all that bad… But yourself doing so… Was one of the most frightening things I had ever experienced. That, or the fact that there was a gun waiting to shoot me through the brains. I couldn't even be sure he'd not shoot me before the time had passed… But I had nothing to lose.

"I have nothing to lose. I have nothing to lose. I can do this. I have a chance." I chanted to myself and placed my trembling hand onto the other one.

"One minute." There was no time anymore, I just had to do it.

I closed my eyes and took a shaking breath as I started to press against the joint of my thumb. It already hurt with minimum pressure and I cursed desperately. I blinked rapidly before squeezing my eyes shut and biting on my bottom lip, I started to press again.

"Argh, fuck!" I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it! Tears rolled down my cheeks more because of fear and endorphins than anything else. I wasn't going to make it! I pressed harder.

"Fucking bastard!" I shouted as pain filled my senses. A chuckle barely arrived at my ears but enough to fuel my anger and desperation.

"Sick fuck! Fucking bastard!" I cursed and pressed even harder and as air left my lungs, a sickening 'pop' filled the room.

"Aaaargh!" I grinded my teeth and grabbed my shaking wrist. I had done it. It had dislocated and it hurt like hell! With tears still streaming down my cheeks I tugged at the metal and with surprising ease it slid off my hand. Then I quickly stumbled onto my legs and as I turned around I collided with something hair. With a yelp I stepped backwards and with shaking eyes looked at Sebastian standing before me. He aimed the gun towards my head and smirked.

"Too late, kid."

* * *

... my fans by now know that I like myself a cliffhanger. I'm SORRY! XD

Forgive me, yes? Okay thanks! -high fives you-

Thanks for reading and your patience and pleaaaase review! Goodbye you awesome you, you!


	4. The Waking

Hi there doves!

First of all, AS ALWAYS, a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge thank you for the absolutely wonderful reviews! OMG you guys! It was insane really. I got all high n stuff because of your love! Thank you thank you thank you!

This chapter is a tad short... and well, not my favorite, it seems more like a filling between chapter 2 and 4, rather than a chapter on its own.  
For this, I will make sure to upload the next chap very soon! Within seven days!

Okay, enjoy reading and please do review! Thank you sugarcubes!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**The Waking.**

"Too late, kid." In absolute horror I watched Sebastian smirk cunningly towards me as his index finger slowly started to pull at the trigger. The little tip of metal on the top of the handgun started to cock backwards slowly and all I could do was close my eyes and prepare for my death.

'Click' The loud sound made me flinch but when nothing happened I carefully cracked one eye open. I rapidly blinked as I watched the tall man rub the gun with a handkerchief. His eyes focused solely on the weapon as he shone it while whistling a happy tune.

My jaw dropped. What the hell was going on? Why was he acting so calm all of the sudden? Why wasn't he killing me… yet?

"… I-I don't understand." My voice cracked weakly, making the man raise an eyebrow before he turned around and calmly walked back to his desk. Before he sat himself down on the chair, he tugged the gun back behind his belt.

"Ciel… was it?" His fingers folded as his elbows rested on the arm seats, he leaned back in the seat and it creaked by the weight of the tall man. As he rested an ankle on his knee he finally looked back up to meet my eyes.

I nodded distractedly as he asked confirmation for my name. My mind raced around desperately to find out what was going on, to solve this cryptic puzzle. And I was trying to focus to not drop onto the floor as my knees wobbled violently beneath my weight.

"Congratulations, Ciel. You survived step one." I could only blink a few times as I tried to unravel the mystery. Sebastian fumbled into the pocket of his jacket before pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He tapped onto the bottom of the small box so one of the cigarette's butts popped out and he then grabbed the stick with his teeth before wrapping his full lips around it. With the white stick resting between relaxed lips he tugged the pack back in his pocket and then rumbled around in one of his drawers. Absently I watched as he lit the cig with a Zippo, the distinct scent filled the atmosphere shortly and the click of the metal as he shook it shut hit my ears harshly.

A deep drag was taken before he blew the smoke back out with lid eyes.

"You had two choices, kid. One, you'd fail in your escape as has happened just now. Or you'd have succeeded in your escape, busted out of the office and be shot by the men waiting outside with their rifles." A chuckle fell from his lips as he shortly watched the smoldering ashes of the cigarette he was holding loosely between long bony fingers.

"What?" I whispered, completely unaware of what he had meant and what was going on.

"I ordered my men to wait for ten minutes outside my office. I commanded them to blow your brains out the moment you'd step outside of this office… I guess I should've given you one more minute, now I'll be stuck with you." With a dramatic sigh he folded one arm behind his head and started up at the ceiling as he took another drag. The sound of burning tobacco filled the room before I interrupted it with my questions.

"I… What? Why? You told me told me to escape to… not get killed." I doubted all of the sudden, if he really had said this.

"Did I, Ciel? I just merely ordered you to get out of my office within five minutes… I never shared any information of what would happen if you'd succeed or fail." Now that I was starting to 'get' everything, the throbbing in my thumb expanded towards my hand and wrist and with a hiss I squeezed it gently. A sharp sting waved through my limb and with a groan I carefully released my hand.

"Then… what will happen now?" I whispered, my heartbeat had suddenly slowed down rapidly in pace and the ringing in my ears alongside the blurry vision warned me that I would pass out soon.

Sebastian smirked around his cigarette before he raised himself from his chair. I barely noticed how he started to creep towards me like a predator, his shoulders rolling with each step.

"You're mine… to keep… for as long as you will be entertaining and for as long as you will earn me money… and for as long as you won't cause me trouble… and… for as long as I not grow tired of you." My eyes felt heavy and I grew nauseas as he neared me. When his tall frame started to cast a shadow over my much shorter one, I took a shuddering breath.

"I-I'm going… to…" Everything went black in no time as I felt gravity grow more heavy, but before I could hit the floor I had passed out completely.

* * *

When I woke up I wasn't sure if the headache had been the cause of this, or it had been the other way around… Either way, my head was killing me and with a loud groan I rested my palm on my forehead. I frowned at the stiff sore feeling in my hand and pulled it back away from my skin. My thumb was bandaged.

"… The fuck…?" I whispered with a frown as I tried to remember what had happened before having blacked out.

I looked around a little and with shock noticed I didn't recognize the room at all. It was sterile looking to say the least. Walls were colored a soft grey and besides the modern black bed there only were another two black cabins beside it's each side. The sheets were a dark grey and I clumsily threw the blankets off of me. Where the hell was I?

"Good afternoon." The voice startled me and I looked sideways to the direction it had came from. When I saw Sebastian seated in that love seat in the furthest corner of the room, smoldering crimson eyes drilling into mine and a cunning smirk on those full lips… everything came back to me. The bank robbery, the kidnapping, the dislocating of my thumb, the gun aimed at my face, the blacking out… Everything.

I yelped in fear and subconsciously crawled away from him quickly, even though he was still far away. Unfortunately enough, the bed wasn't all that limitless lengthwise such as the floor, and with a loud thud I fell off the edge of the furniture and collided with the surface beneath.

Rapidly I tried to pick myself up but froze in my movement when a shadow fell over my crawled up body.

"What's the matter? Seen a ghost?" Fearfully I looked up into the red orbs that belonged to him. His hands were tugged into the pockets of his black jeans and he leaned forward with a smirk on his lips. I realized then that I rather would've been confronted with a ghost rather than with this psychopathic criminal.

"P-please don't hurt me!" I automatically whimpered, a slight sting of disgust by my own cowering somewhere reached my thoughts.

"Hurt you? Well I'd never harm a hair on your head, Ciel." His voice thickened with what sounded like a threat and with trembling limbs I turned around and crawled away from him on hands and knees. I needed to get out of here! Away from this insane man. But before I could even try as much to find a direction to go to he grabbed my ankle and tugged so hard back that I fell down on chest and chin.

My heart skipped a beat by his aggressive action and I quickly turned on my back, not feeling comfortable at all with my back being exposed to him.

"Fuck! Let me go!" I cried desperately as I looked into his bored looking face, yet he pulled my ankle higher and with much ease raised me into the air.

Somewhere during or before this 'ordeal' he had lit a cigarette between his lips and I looked up to him whilst hanging upside down into the air. His hand holding my ankle didn't even so much as tremble and I wasn't sure if it was because I was very light or he just was very strong.

"Come on, kid. Fight back… I want to hear those filthy words spill from your lips as they did when you were in pain." He shook me slightly. Our eyes met and mine widened in confusion… This man was unreadable, I had no idea what to do. Yell? Insult? Beg? Cry? … I just feared I'd receive a bullet in my brains by any emotion showed.

But before I could ponder any more, he flung me away and with a gasp I landed back onto the bed. It creaked heavily by the sudden weight and my eyes automatically searched for the man. My breath hitched as I witnessed him crawling towards me from the other side of the furniture, his cigarette still dangled between neutral lips. Unlike last time I had seen him this time he was not dressed in a well tailored suit. His long legs were hugged by a pair of black jeans and a simple black tank top hugged his broad chest. His bare arms were slightly bronzed, but still leaned more towards the pale side and the muscles that showed beneath the skin of his shoulders rolled with each crawling step he took towards me.

Before I could sit upright and run away, he had grabbed my ankle once again, yanked on it and flattened me out completely on the mattress. He crawled on top of me but kept his distance so our bodies didn't touch and as he hovered above me like that he smirked once again.

"I'm troubled, Ciel. You need to help me decide." His words barely reached my ears as all I could look at was the large amount of ashes hanging on the edge of his smoldering cigarette… As he spoke around it, the stick wobbled and I nervously awaited hot ashes to fall on my face.

He seemed to notice what was going on as my eyes focused solely on the cig and he took another long drag from it, the scent lingered around us heavily and I inaudibly sighed when he removed the stick from his lips with long fingers.

Even with the gap between my laid body and his hovering one, I could still feel body heat penetrating me and when his face leaned closer towards me, I pressed my head back as much as the thick mattress allowed me to.

"… Ciel…" He whispered and smoke exited his lips as he spoke. I coughed and squeezed my eyes shut by the stinging and smelly intrusion.

"Tell me, how badly do you want to live?" I frowned by his question and opened my eyes carefully to look at him. This man had to be mad… schizophrenic at the least. I couldn't help but suspect his questions from being either riddles or traps and carefully I answered him.

"Very badly." He nodded slowly and his crimson orbs kept locked onto mine.

"To which lengths would you go for the mere will of survival and living?" He took another drag from the butt before he squeezed the burning tip with his thumb and index finger. I watched in slight confusion as he crunched the small tobacco stick before flinging it aside on the dark grey tiled floor. This man was awkward to say the least.

"It depends if the life is worth living for." I answered carefully, my gut feeling telling me this man wanted to exploit me to the maximum. A narrow black eyebrow arched in what seemed to be interest before he spoke on his turn. His voice was deep and smooth, a slight rasp that was typical for smokers lingered in it and I suddenly ached for the pack of Phillip Morris I had left at home.

"Smart answer, kid." He complimented me before pulling back only a little. I stayed quiet beneath him, not daring as much as move a muscle, the only thing I could do was keep an eye out for any warning signals, such as facial expressions, to notify me of a possible mood swing or attack.

"Let's talk it over at breakfast, shall we?"

* * *

Oh this is short! I'll make sure to update the next chapter before next Thursday ^^ I finally have some ideas to where I want to go with this, so hopefully it'll soon start to get going.

Thank you for reading and please review!


	5. The Breakfast

Helluuuuu applepies!

A VERY early update because the last chapter was so short and well my least favorite.

Your shitload of reviews made it seem otherwise though. This story is getting soooo much love! It makes me all emotional and stuff.  
Thanks so much for all the reviews... I can't even describe the feeling they give me. It's not arousal, so no worries!

A special thank you to Laurikes... because gurl... Your reviews make me swoon! I love them.  
And another thank you to promocat. You're so faithful and review multiple chappies of stories! I love reading them, always.

-siiigh-... I'm so glad I decided to upload stories here, and eventhough writing should always be for yourself. I know I put more than fifty percent of my dedication and love in these stories for you guys.  
So, please keep up the reviewing! I love you all. Fuck, I'm such a wuss today XD

Also, for those who red Devil's Child. I'm glad to say I'm working on another one-shot, since that one seemed to be VERY loved (a big thank you if you reading this, reviewed/favorited the story. New one-shot of Kuroshitsuji will take place in old Japan. Be ready for ronins and crossdressing geishas)

Okay, sorry for the ramble!  
Enjoy reading and please review!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**The Breakfast.**

"Let's talk it over at breakfast, shall we?" He removed himself from the bed instantly and went towards the only door in the room.

"W-wait!" I shouted in slight panic. I still had no idea what was going on. I had no idea what I should do and most of all… I had no idea what to think or expect from this man. He behaved oddly, embarrassingly almost and I wanted this situation to pass! I wanted out of here.

Sebastian turned to look over his shoulder and with an expressionless face he waited for me to continue.

"W-what does this all mean? What's going on? What… Just… Just tell me if I'm going to get killed or released. I just want to know something, anything! Please." Before I had ranted towards the man I had raised myself from the bed and subconsciously I had paced towards him during the words spilling from my lips. But now I awkwardly noticed how I stood in front of him, daringly almost as I stood so close that I had to crane my neck to meet his eyes. Sebastian chuckled and turned fully around towards me.

"I'll answer one question a week. How about that?" I scowled slightly by the rather unsatisfying reply but as he kept gazing at me I started to think of what to ask him.

"I…" His scent distracted me, I was too close to him. The aroma of tobacco and musk hit my nostrils violently and I quickly took a step backwards. I didn't miss the characteristically arching of his left brow by my action. Thankfully enough he stayed on his spot, thumbs hooked in the pockets of his jeans.

"I haven't got all day, kid." A grimace fell on my face.

"Will I ever get back home?" The tall man's lip corners tugged downwards for a second before he rolled his crimson eyes and turned back around.

"Depends on you, boy." I frowned and the lack of aggression and oddness in the 'boss' made me feel slightly more confident.

"W-wait!" I spoke again and when he didn't stop in his tracks I quickly followed him and grabbed his wrist. I had acted without thinking and when his body stiffened I suddenly feared a blow to the head. But when he stayed quiet and didn't move a muscle, my confidence rose and I boldly asked further. My heart raced in my chest, my stomach wanted to turn constantly and there seemed to be a lack of blood flow in my cold limbs.

"What do you mean? How do you mean that it depends on me?" Sebastian tugged his wrist from my hand and opened the door.

"One question at a time kid."

"N-no!" My hand again grabbed his warm wrist and I couldn't care less if he'd punch me knock out. I needed answers! I needed them now!

"One a week is not enough! Please, give me more! I-I'll pay you even!" He chuckled.

"Pay me? Kid… I own more money then you'll ever see in your life, there's no way you can pay me to give you answers." My fingers clenched tightly around his limb and I bit my lip as suddenly the most disgusting thoughts roamed my desperate brain.

"I'll pay you with everything I own…" I had almost whispered the words and heat rose to my face. What the hell was I doing? Was the need for answers this high? Sebastian looked down on me from over his shoulder and frowned.

"Everything you own?" I nodded quickly towards him.

"Y-you can have me… F-for each answer you give me." A silence lingered between us and I prayed that the glistening in his eyes were not caused by anger.

"… I'm the one demanding here. If I want to fuck you, I'll fuck you. I won't let you force me to answer you. Fucking dip-shit." He growled before tugging his wrist from my hand and leaving the room. He slammed the door shut behind him and soon the sound of it being locked hit my ears.

Well fuck… that hadn't went as I had planned it to. I couldn't believe I had just offered my body for answers. How low could I go? This was disgusting.

"I want to go home…" I groaned to myself as I leaned my forehead and right hand against the closed door.

"I want this to end."

* * *

"Why aren't you eating?" I stirred at the angry question and looked up at the man across of me. He chewed a piece of meat almost viciously and his nostrils flared. What the hell was this guy's problem in the first place? His moods seemed to swing more than those from a frustrated adolescent.

"I lost my appetite." I mumbled and looked back down at my folded hands resting in my lap.

"You haven't eaten in days." Sebastian growled as he continued to feast on the plate of simple food in front of him.

I had been 'here' for seven days now. As far as I knew this was Sebastian's place. The modern loft had much comfort to it, but the eerie aspect of being kept hostage and living alongside an emotional rollercoaster really made all matters worse. Oddly enough he left me alone without supervision day in day out. The fact that I could grab any of the sharp kitchen knives and stab him in his back or in his sleep didn't seem to bother him in the slightest.

There were no windows in his loft and the doors were all made of metal, locked severely and preventing me to escape through them. The only thing I could do was indeed kill this man… It would be easy as he seemed to be a tight sleeper. I grimaced at the thought… I could never kill a person, even this asshole who ruined my life and still hadn't give me any answers… But I could wound him, threaten him to release me if he wanted to live, and then I could escape.

But a sick feeling had brewed in my guts these last couple of days… A sick sensation of a slight amount of trust and respect for the horrible man.

He had to be brainwashing me. This couldn't be me, thinking like this. I was the most rational person I knew… then why hadn't I gone full berserk just yet? I should've hurt him by now. I should've escaped by now. I should've at least tried.

Sebastian was mostly gone during the night and he'd often return somewhere around noon. After he had cooked something he would plump down on his sofa, light a cigarette and fall asleep in front of the television for the rest of the afternoon. When evening arrived he'd take a quick shower, grab a bite and leave his place once again. It all was so odd.

"Kid…" I blinked as he woke me from my thoughts and I looked back up at the man who had by now lit a cigarette and had leaned back comfortably in the high stool.

"Why did you stop asking for answers?" His crimson eyes lid slowly as he inhaled the toxic smoke into his longs. I could see his ribcage expand underneath the white dress shirt. His tie hung loosely around his neck.

"Because you're not giving me any answers." I mumbled back at him. The awkward conversations that led to nowhere were a daily routine by now and I had gotten used to his cryptic sayings, almost.

"Maybe you're not asking the right questions?" He threw back and a smirk rested on his devilish lips. I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself but luckily enough the man didn't scowl at me for the arrogant motioning.

"Maybe you just don't want to give me any answers?" I spoke and eyed the pack of cigarettes resting on the table.

"You want one?" I blinked and rolled my blue eyes up to meet his'.

"An answer?"

"No, idiot." He chuckled rudely.

"A cigarette." My eyebrow arched by his offering and I nodded carefully. I didn't want to owe this guy anything… I had a feeling he'd throw any speck of his kindness back into my face and demand of me anything he wanted. But… A cigarette would soothe so many things I were feeling right now.

Carefully I took a cig from out the pack and lit it with the lighter that had been in there as well. I inhaled the smoke deeply and let out a sigh as I exhaled it. A small hum left my lips by the familiar taste and sensation of the tobacco and a wave of subtle tickles rushed through my body. Delicious.

"So, does the offer still count?" Sebastian spoke confidently as he pushed out the butt into a black ashtray on the table we sat at. My brows curved in confusion. The man would jump from one to the other subject and it was hard at times to understand and grasp the meaning of his words.

"Excuse me?" Our eyes met shortly before I looked back down at the cigarette between my fingers. I carefully rolled the stick around, playing with it as I awaited Sebastian's explanation.

"Your body." My heart skipped a beat and body tensed up immediately as it sensed danger. Uncomfortably I shifted in my seat and flicked my eyes up to his' shortly.

"For an answer." I mumbled much less confidently than I had wished to.

"I don't think so." He smiled almost meanly, yet kept seated in his chair without moving a muscle.

"I'll make sure you'll come out castrated if you even dare so much as touch me." I hissed towards him as anger started to flare up. I was disgusted by this man, disgusted of what he had done to me. All I wanted was to roundhouse kick him in his face and escape from here, … from 'this'.

"I'll make sure you won't have a single tooth in your mouth if you even try accomplishing that. And I promise I will take them out one by one. So, if you'll excuse me…" He raised himself from the chair and I watched as he left the kitchen without another word. My guts wrenched at the thought of him going to get some kind of attribute to pull out my teeth and I quickly went back to 'my' room. His room, but since he never was home at night, and during the day slept on the sofa… There seemed to be a mutual agreement of me sleeping slash living in here.

My anger was still burning and I knew it was time for me to act soon. I couldn't just sit and wait for this man to rape me, hurt me, kill me. No, I had to fight. Enough with the sulking and cowering. Sure, this psycho could flip out at any given time… But pleasing him and watching my every step to not piss him off wouldn't stay successful forever. There would come a day he'd smash my skull with a hammer. I shuddered at the mental image.

Something needs to be done…

* * *

Whilst squeezing the metal handle in my hands more tightly, I observed the sleeping male in front of me. His mouth was slightly agape, his face free from any disapproving frowns or agitated scowls. His chest heaved slightly in symphony with the soft sound of his breathing. His hands that rested folded on his stomach were bony and large and when I looked closer I could see miniscule signs of cuts and bruises… This man seemed to have a very busy nightlife.

With a gulp I pulled one hand away from the object I was holding and let the other one grasp it entirely. This would be it…

I looked down at the large metal kitchen knife in my right hand and ignored the harsh beating of my heart in my throat. I had never done anything similar as to what I'd be doing now. I even found it difficult to kill a fly… Yet my humane side would gladly squash a bug when it would be squirming on the ground helplessly because of a broken wing… No one should suffer, right? Short pain. Short death.

Death… I couldn't even kill this man as his brain held the code to open the door to freedom. It had taken me nearly four days to figure out that 'his house keys' were nonexistent and instead he used a code of thirteen digits to open and close his door. I grimaced at the amount of 'thirteen'… I still believed this number to have been the cause of everything that had happened to me this past few weeks.

The uncomfortable thought of having to dominate this male made me squirm nervously. I had never been one to be highly confident of his own talents and the lack of social skills made the thought of having to threaten a man whom had kidnapped me… rather unwished for.

"Okay…" I whispered silently to myself and grabbed the large knife with both my hands. The blade shook violently because of the trembling of my limbs and I licked my dry lips as I thought of what to do next.

Should I shout for him to wake up? Or should I just stab him in his thigh… So he'd be intimidated right away and it would prevent him to follow behind me as I'd escape? Small teeth nibbled on my bottom lip as I thought about the endless possibilities of scenarios.

I had heard before of how stabbing someone was actually quite a hard thing to do… Not only mentally but physically as well. It took a lot more of your strength than one would consider in the first place. I could only rationalize that a muscled thigh would be hard to penetrate… but I had no choice. I couldn't chance for him to wake up before he got wounded, surely this sneaky criminal would overpower me in no time without enabling me to damage him.

Shaking like a leaf I lifted the knife with both hands somewhere above my head and squinted my eyes as I grit my teeth. Okay… I had to stab him now. In his thigh, it'd be perfect… The pain would surely make hi-

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" An angry voice interrupted my racing thoughts and I blinked in confusion as my eyes met an angry looking face. His frown was deep, his crimson eyes had darkened and his lips pursed together.

Fuck…

* * *

... God, Sebastian is so hot.

Anyways. Thanks for reading! And please review, you sugarcoated candyapples of mine!


	6. The Unraveling

Hello doves.

First of all, a BIIIIIG thank you for all the reviews/favorites, etc. Even though the last chapter wasn't one of my favorites, it still got so much love from you guys.

Thank you so much! It makes me happy, really.

In this chapter I developed some plotline. Because I'm one of those 'writers' who spends 10 chapters writing nonsense before finally getting to the plot and then cramming it all up in 5 chaps. Haha. So yeah... A bit of a mysterious chapter which also shows the evolution in their relationship with one another.  
So I hope you guys, notice this all and enjoy it!

This chapter is updated a day earlier thanks to a fan who friggin begged and bribed me for it. So yeah, kudos to him. (yes I said 'him')

Uhm, well that's that.

Enjoy reading and PUHLEASE keep up the reviewing! Thanks!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**The Unraveling.**

"Let me go!" I shouted as Sebastian dragged me out of the living room throughout the hallway.

"I've had enough of you." He whispered under his breath and as we practically ran through the house I looked up at the tall man and wished desperately that I hadn't dropped the knife so easily when he had grabbed my wrist only a minute ago.

"No! Fuck you! You fucking lunatic! I'm the one who's had enough of this bullshit!" I cursed violently and yelled at the man on the top of my lungs. I was sick and tired of this 'joke'.

Playtime was over and I would punch him in his disgusting face the minute I got the chance to. Angrily I shook my arm and in surprise he let me go. His eyes were widened and his mouth shaped as an 'o'. I stood before him, hands folded into fists and my nostrils flared as I took deep angry breaths.

"Fucking tell me what the hell is going on! This makes no sense! What are you? Some kind of bored maniac? Some sick old guy who just wants to… to torture an innocent person!" The tall man stayed silent as he observed me with a thoughtful gaze.

"… I saved you, Ciel." The man spoke with a hoarse voice. My frown only deepened.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him, again completely unaware of what the man meant.

"I saved your sorry little ass. Better show some fucking dignity and respect!" His voice roared angrily as he seized me by the collar and shoved me against the wall behind me.

"Fucking… maniac! You don't make any sense." As I pushed against his shoulders I growled the insult but the man wouldn't budge. His ridiculous tall frame was obviously much stronger than mine and agitatedly I groaned.

"Let me go…" I whined as my heart increased its beating because of anxiety and anger. But I stopped making a single sound and stopped thrashing my limbs when Sebastian grabbed my chin harshly with his free hand. Our eyes met and a thick silence lingered between us.

"… Ciel… You have to trust me." He whispered mysteriously and his eyes were somehow different than before. They shone… but not mischievously… His eyes looked… Desperate?

Before I could ponder any further, he had bend forward towards me and I gasped as our lips connected. Instinctively I pushed against his shoulders, but he released my collar and quickly grabbed both my wrists into his large strong hand. The fingers that had grabbed my chin now slid over my cheek and soon he hooked them into my slate grey hair.

I was taken aback by the strange handling and when his tongue slipped inside my mouth I couldn't help but hum. What… What's going on?

After a few seconds I finally snapped out of his seductive ministrations and I started to move around, desperate to escape from his intruding grasp. His thick tongue tasted of tobacco and it moved around in my mouth with much experience. It caressed my own numb muscle and the cavern of my mouth, his lips pressed closely against mine and our teeth clashed when he pulled me even closer.

No… Stop. He was going to rape me. I didn't want this. I moaned desperately for him to stop but he ignored my pleading. He pulled back slightly only to nip on my bottom lip before biting it.

"Stop it…" I whispered against his lips but he ignored me and slid his tongue back inside. Fucking… pervert! As thrashing and pushing didn't seem to work, I could only think of one more thing.

Sebastian groaned loudly when I sunk my teeth harshly into in tongue. As he started to pull back, I didn't let go and in the contrary I bit even harder into the abused muscle. It was only when he gripped my throat dangerously tight that I released him and he stumbled backwards ungracefully.

"Fuck!" He spat and a few drops of blood flew out of his mouth. I grabbed my own throat which he had squeezed only seconds ago and fearfully watched the dangerous crimson eyes drill into mine as a bony hand wiped over his mouth.

"… Get to my bedroom, right now…" Frozen in place I stared at him, anxiety made my forehead sweat and my lungs frantically heave for air.

"What?"

"Get. To. The. FUCKING BEDROOM NOW!" His voice shouted so loud that my ears rang and my stomach turned. I yelped when he took a step forward and my legs felt too weak to oblige to his demand. Instead I dropped to the floor helplessly and blocked my face with both my arms.

"I-I can't!" I shouted, my voice cracked as tears started to build up. This was an absolute nightmare. An absolutely terrifying nightmare.

"Get up!" He growled and bended over towards me, his hand harshly grabbed my elbow and he then pulled me back up to my feet. I stumbled alongside him as we made our way towards his bedroom and heavy sobs were the only thing that broke the silence between us, next to the rapid pacing of feet.

"P-please…" I weakly whispered, so silent that he probably didn't even caught my words… He kicked the door open and it slammed against the wall harshly, I could've sworn I heard a cracking noise of something haven broken.

"Get down." He growled as he flung me towards the bed. You'd think that a mattress would be the best option to fall upon, but when a giant of a man would throw you in rage onto a bed meters away… the blow was kind of hard and painful.

Everything went rapidly fast from then on. I could barely take in the sound of a zipper getting undone before the man plumped down on my back and grabbed my arms, bending them behind my back.

I could only plead for him to stop, to not do it… But the man seemed to be blinded with rage and soon enough I felt my wrists getting tied together roughly. He rolled back off me and grabbed a handful of my dark locks, dragging me up roughly over the bed so I laid down more towards the middle rather than on the edge.

This was it. I would get raped. After being kidnapped… I'd get raped… And eventually he'd blow my brains out and dump me in the desert.

As Sebastian pulled down my pants I could only cry weakly and think of my life so far. I had accomplished nothing. I had a mediocre job, a mediocre apartment, mediocre friends and a mediocre income… My family barely kept in touch with me. I hadn't seen my mom and dad for over three months and we only monthly spoke on the phone. The rest of the family was unknown to me and the amount of real friends I had could be counted on one hand. I never even had a real love… only a few girls I would share the sheets with whenever I needed to… I never shared my deepest thoughts with anyone… I never had a date. I never wrote down a to-do list of things I wanted to accomplish before I would die… Not even future plans had brewed inside my head. I had done nothing with life so far. I had only ridden along on the wave of the sickening grey mainstream mass… Even though I had considered myself to be so 'different'. I had been all the same.

Sebastian grabbed my hips and raised my lower half in the air. A sob left my lips and I grit my teeth to prepare for what was to come. But he hesitated and with a tensed body I awaited what would happen next.

"I only wanted to save you." This man was a psychopath… No doubt about it. A selfish lowlife.

"From what?" I whispered as I stared at the grey wall next to the bed. Somehow Sebastian had seemed to have snapped 'out of it' again and I used his need to talk to my own advantage.

"Death." He answered dryly, his thumb distractedly brushed over my bruised hipbone and I could almost see him zone out.

"… I don't understand… If you had just let me go in the first place, there would not have been any threat of me dying." A silence filled the bedroom and my heart skipped a beat in anticipation. My mouth had ran dry as had the salty tears on my cheeks.

"Ciel… It was an accident that you had fallen hostage… But if I wouldn't have come back earlier and not have walked in on you in my office, you would've been dead by now… If I wouldn't have played that sickening game of your escape… If I wouldn't have waited longer to mention that you should dislocate your thumb to escape… You would've died." My pupils trembled as I tried to take in his confession and relief hit me when he pulled his hands away from my hips. I slid down the bed carefully and rolled onto my side.

"The things I told you in there… It was all an act. The whole warehouse is filled with cameras. Even bosses have bosses who watch along… I had to play along and I had to be smooth to not let you escape and get shot. It would only grant me more time to get you out of there without a problem and to return empty handed with a story of how I have killed you." I frowned deeply and darted my eyes towards him. He sat on the edge of the bed, one hand supporting his forehead, his fingers feverously grabbing the dark long locks.

"W-why?" I asked confusedly.

"… No reason to it." He lied horribly but I didn't dare to press further as to why this man had risked his own life for that of mine.

"But you acted strange… even here…" I whispered and the tall male nodded shortly.

"I… I guess I wanted for you to believe I was merely a psychopath… This shouldn't have been brought out to the light anyways." A trembling hand reached into his pocket and he quickly grabbed the pack of cigarettes that had crumbled inside of it. I watched him lit one with his Zippo before he threw the pack and lighter on the bed.

"So… you're not crazy?" I whispered softly, scared that he'd blow any given moment. My brain found everything hard to believe, but I'd rather believe this side of the story than the fact that he was a maniac wanting to fool around with my life.

"Not entirely, I guess" A bitter chuckle fell from his lips.

"… It was all fake… I don't know what to do now though." I frowned… He still was a criminal though, right? I didn't know anymore of who this man was and what he had done to me.

"… Can't you just… let me go?" Sebastian finally glanced towards me, crimson eyes gazing at me in between the black strands that hung in front of his face messily. His cigarette dangled between relaxed lips.

"I need a better cover." He mumbled, the stick bouncing as he moved his lips.

"Will you let me go afterwards?" Our eyes met once again.

"Yes."

"Why?" Sebastian frowned as I once again asked why he was doing all this for me… It didn't make sense at all. Was this a lie also? A sick lie?

"You don't need to know. All you have to do is have patience until I can release you safely." He mumbled and raised himself from the bed.

"… Don't you fear for me to go to the police?" The tall man looked over his shoulder and took a deep drag from the cigarette.

"I trust that you won't do that." A small yet honest smile was thrown towards me before he left the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

My frown only deepened… What the hell was going on with this man? Who was he? HOW was he? With a grunt I tugged my wrists apart and to my surprise the fabric easily unknotted… What the hell? Why didn't he tie me up more securely? This all didn't make sense. My brain overworked on trying to find out what was going on… But it couldn't… This was a total mind fuck.

* * *

Another two months had passed gradually and the anxiety of not having heard of my friends nor parents started to get on my nerves. I was completely isolated and the only thing good out of this all was the healthy and delicious meals the 'criminal' cooked for me.

What was even more odd than having spend over two months with someone who held me hostage, was that it wasn't that uncomfortable to begin with. The man hadn't lied about his insanity having been faked and I was almost afraid to admit that living 'with' him wasn't that scary anymore.

I still didn't trust him… Not for one bit and I held the possible thought of him lying or killing me for his own sake, in the back of my mind.

"Hey…" Groggily I looked beside me when Sebastian had interrupted my doubtful pondering.

"What?" I asked lazily and with a soft groan stretched my legs over the low table in front of the sofa we both sat on.

"Pass me the ashtray." I frowned for a moment, wondering why he didn't just get it himself but soon enough noticed I had been holding the object in my hand, on my lap for the past half hour.

"Oh, yeah… Sorry." I mumbled whilst handing him the little black tray. The much taller man chuckled under his breath before he took it from my hand and rested it on his own lap on his turn.

"So…" He murmured before taking a deep drag of his lit cigarette, I had somehow gotten used to the sound of him smoking, the inhaling and exhaling was something I would recall during the night as I would be half asleep… I guessed the traumatic event of being kidnapped and being kept by this male, made my brain play tricks on me as to finding such a sound 'relaxing'.

In the corner of my eye I observed the black haired male seat himself more comfortably on the cushion next to me. His ridiculously long legs rested on the table in front of us, his ankles hooked. His right arm rested comfortably on the arm seat of the black furniture, his left one rested on his lap, holding the ashtray securely in place.

The way his abdomen sank into the sofa could almost be described as attractive. His tall frame leaned back comfortably and even though he was slouched in the seat, still he could crane his neck as he'd rest the back of his head on the edge of the backrest. Such a ridiculous height… I'm sure he must've gotten teased for it when he was a teenager… Or maybe he hadn't been that tall back in his schooldays?

"… Did you smoke before you got here?" The smalltalk had become a daily routine by now, so his question didn't even surprise me anymore. I brought up my legs and seated myself into a more comfortable lotus position before resting one elbow on my knee and on its turn supporting my head by placing my chin on my palm. My other hand hung loosely from my lap and distractedly I peeled at the leather stitching of the cushion I sat on.

"Yeah…" I answered, glancing at bony fingers grabbing at the fabric.

"Which brand?"

"Phillip Morris." Sebastian nodded by my answer before he blew out some grey smoke.

"Is it good?" One could call these conversations child-like and perhaps even boring… But to me they were very welcoming as I felt absolutely isolated and grateful to have gotten rid of the psychopathic act he had put up only months ago. Unfortunately enough, Sebastian was the only person I could talk with at this time in life and I was somewhat grateful for this, or else I would've gotten mad by now.

"Yeah, they're very light." The crunching of a cigarette being pressed out in the ashtray could be heard in the silent room. The huge television in front of us was on mute, only images of people talking could be seen. I had tried to watch the news before, but even the television needed a code for getting turned on. Such small details made me remember that I had no freedom and that I still was a victim.

"Is that why you chose them?" The taller man lifted his booted feet from the table and placed them back on the floor before bending forward to place the ashtray back on the much safer and more stabile location that was the table.

"No… I used to look up to some guy and he happened to smoke those… So I bought a pack of my own and I guess, I always stuck to them." Sebastian hummed softly before he distractedly started to flip through the channels of the TV.

"Was he a friend of yours?" I leaned myself back and folded my fingers behind my head.

"Nah, he was just an idol I had back then… It's more a girl's thing… you know… To look up to an unreachable and unknown person." I answered truthfully, not even wondering why he was asking me all this… These 'awkward' and non important conversations had been rather common lately.

"… But, you're not a girl, are you?"

"No."

"So, why did you like him?" A shiver ran down my spine as he was getting very close to my first experiences with homosexuality. That idol back then, had been a first crush, if you could call it that. I never allowed this side to take the overhand though. I had always pushed it back and had slept with most girls who wanted me… I guess I just did that to bare with my own homosexuality. Somehow I was ashamed of it… I knew it wasn't wrong, it was natural…. But still, it was something difficult to deal with throughout my childhood.

"No reason. He was just cool." I answered, not completely lying and glanced sideways towards the large clock that hung on one wall. It was already nine PM… Never had Sebastian been here after eight PM.

"Shouldn't you get going?" I changed the subject thankfully and eyed the tall man shortly. His crimson eyes focused on the television screen with not much interest.

"I'm on a holiday."

"You guys have holidays?" He chuckled at my question which I had asked without thinking about it first.

"… You say 'you guys' like we're a bad thing." I scowled shortly as our eyes met. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.

"Well… You are a bad thing." I mumbled under my breath, my heart pacing up a little in fear of his reaction.

"Tsk… you have no idea of how bad I could get." After having said this, he got up and stretched his long lean body, various pops were heard before he shook his arms loose with a sigh.

"G'night." He spoke as he waited for me to leave his sofa, aka his bed and without another word I followed his example, instead leaving to the bedroom for another lonely night with even lonelier thoughts and nightmares.

* * *

Mysterious plotline is mysterious, haha.  
I have a smoker fetish yes. I don't smoke but I think Asians smoke sexily... No seriously, they smoke differently to Western men... somehow. Does anyone get me on this?  
I mean... they like, hold their cigs between their teeth and then drag on it, narrow their eyes to prevent the smoke from stinging and then blow it out... It's fucking hot, that's what it is. LOL... I'm so awkward. Okay.

Chapter 6 will be uploaded on next Thursday!

Thanks for reading and please please please pretty pleaaase review! Thank you so much!


	7. The Abstinence

Hello, sugarcubes.

A big thank you to all who reviewed! I'm glad you're still enjoying this story!  
I promise I'll start having the plot rolling now.

This isn't my favorite chapter... it's hasty, not well written and well, it just comes off as if a kid wrote some parts of this. My apologies!  
But I still hope it pleases you all.

Okay, enjoy reading and please review.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**The Abstinence.**

My body stirred as a warmth that penetrated the blanket I laid beneath, cradled me from behind and with wide eyes I observed the long arm that casually hooked itself around my frame. It was dark in the room, but not so dark that I wouldn't recognize who's hand it was that was boldly embracing me. Neither did I miss the distinct scent of tobacco and soap that was his'.

"… Sebastian." I whispered his name, afraid to speak too loudly as I vaguely tried to believe he was just sleepwalking. But soon enough another scent hit my nostrils, alcohol.

The tall man hummed as he pressed his long lean body against my back, tightening his grip around my chest and capturing my arms whilst doing so. Was he drunk? He had never joined me in this bed… Mostly because I was out of it as he was home and vice versa. But it was still his holiday and it seemed that when I had left him earlier this evening, he had began to drink and had decided to join me in the bed… Fuck.

"Sebastian, let me go." I wiggled in his grasp but he just buried his face in the crook of my neck and obviously inhaled my scent as his nose dug into my slate grey hair.

"Have I ever mentioned… that you smell of blood and vanilla?" I kept still and wasn't certain of how to reply to this, he was too close. Too close!

"You're a good kid, you know." A hiccup followed and along with the slurring of his words this notified me of his drunken and possibly dangerous state. Carefully I tried to escape from his death grip, but he held me firmly in place. It seemed like his muscles didn't even need to tense or make an effort to hold me and again I cursed my weak physical state.

"Let me go, prick." I cursed under my breath and a chuckle fell from his lips.

"Make me." He whispered into my ear almost sensually and the way he now leaned slightly over me made me cringe in nervousness.

"I can't, you're too damn strong." Another growl fell from my lips and a soft laugh left the man's throat. The deep sound made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and as I suppressed an upcoming shiver I again fought against his grip.

"Come on, kid… You know you want it." The months of living with this man and the lack of aggression and abuse that had taken place in that time made me much more confident to fight this man with words. I didn't see him that much anymore as a dangerous persona and had gotten more insight into his personality the last period of time. Still, no one was to be trusted and the biggest psychopaths were the biggest geniuses when it came to manipulating one's idea of personality and believes.

"Want 'what', exactly?" Cockily I looked over my shoulder towards the man and instinctively cowered at the glaring eyes that even seemed to penetrate the darkness of the room. Another shiver was held back and pride prevented me to unlock my eyes from his'.

"… This." With that said he quickly grabbed my hair with his free hand and pulled my head back. I yelped at the violent ministration and as my neck arched, he planted his hungry drunken lips on the exposed patch of skin.

"Fuck… Don't!" I insulted and started to fight in his grip. His other arm that had grabbed me tightly only seconds before now casually drifted underneath the blanket and my breathing hitched as his large hand slid down my naked chest and further over my tummy.

"N-no!" My heart skipped a beat as panic rose to what the drunken man was planning to do and whilst thrashing my limbs heavily he suddenly bit down on the sensitive flesh of my throat.

"Ack!" It hurt and I was certain that if it wasn't going to bleed, it surely would leave a massive bite mark the next morning. Desperately I turned around towards him, to press against his shoulders and to prevent that sneaky hand from crawling any lower over my abdomen.

"Stop lying, kid…" He growled around the patch of flesh he was still holding between his teeth and I groaned when he bit even harder. Tears sprung into my eyes and I decided to change my tactic. The man wouldn't even budge beneath the pressure of my hands against his shoulders so I laid there, silently, panting as I stared towards the dark ceiling above us. I literally felt as a prey… This lion had his grip on my throat and could kill me whenever he pleased to do so.

"Lying?" I whispered, moving my jaws and lips made the skin of my throat pull and it hurt more than I could ever have guessed. An irritating pinching sensation, next to the sting of sharp canines. Mentally I sighed in absolute relief as the man released me from his teeth and I kept silent on the mattress, not daring to raise a hand to feel at the abused flesh to guess it's state. Sebastian's left hand still grabbed my hair and his right one, now held my left biceps firmly in place as he hovered above me.

"Lying to yourself." He mumbled and I curled up my nose at the distinct stench of alcohol as he spoke towards me.

"About what?" I mumbled, wondering what he was talking about this time. Living with this man meant 24/7 confusion and unawareness.

"About you wanting me." A sly smirk rested on his sinister lips before he leaned back to my throat and I shivered as he lapped at the bruised skin.

"Y-you're drunk." My whisper faltered when he started to suckle on the abused patch and I carefully took some deep breaths as he continued his odd action.

I didn't know where he got the idea that I wanted him. Sure he was damn good-looking and seductive… But he was a criminal, an asshole and a man on top of all that… And not a submissive one either. I could only imagine the anal abuse I'd be going through. Not to mention the mental confusion and mistreating I would put upon myself if I'd ever sleep with this man… He was my kidnapper now. He was the one who had allowed me to break my own thumb, whom had put a gun against my head and whom had made me cry at night because of loneliness and anxiety. He was the one who robbed me of freedom.

"Drunken men always speak the truth." I frowned at the lame line he whispered against my skin, his hot breath fanning over my throat.

"About themselves, you idiot. No way a drunken guy would know what someone else's truth consists off." He only chuckled and then finally pulled away from me.

"Sober men do." I frowned as he smirked down on me when he had raised himself from the bed suspiciously swiftly, lacking of any stumbles or challenges with gravity.

"What?" I asked, wide eyed, a hand resting on the sore wound on my throat.

"Sober men do know other one's true thoughts, … kid." A silence fell heavily between us and slowly but surely I understood what was going on. He wasn't drunk? His foggy eyes and slurring words had completely disappeared and he stood tall and firmly. Son of a…

"Yeah well… I guess sober men also lie about being drunk then?" I threw back pathetically.

"Obviously." He mumbled before turning around.

"G'night, kid." With that he left the bedroom as if nothing had happened whatsoever and I stared in shock at the closed door… WHAT AN ASSHOLE!

* * *

The next day I woke up rather late and with groggy steps I walked into the kitchen/living room. Automatically I went to the sink and made sure to make some coffee before finding something to entertain myself with. A long loud yawn filled the room as I poured some water in the plastic water container and as I turned it on I went further into the living room.

My eyebrow arched as there was a Sebastian lacking from the sofa and I quickly looked over my shoulder towards the large modern clock on the wall.

"Two PM…" I mumbled, suddenly aware why I was having a headache. Sleeping for too long would make me feel even more miserable than sleeping not enough. I shrugged at the man's absence… I wasn't ready to deal with his arrogant face first thing in the 'morning' after he had practically fondled me during the night.

I walked towards the front door, next. It had become a daily routine to check if it indeed was closed and with a sigh I pulled at the handle. Locked, of course.

After having grabbed a book from the cabin next to the also locked television, I walked back into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. As I sat down at the table I frowned at the pack of cigarettes and Sebastian's Zippo lying on top of it. He had forgotten his cigarettes? That was a first and with a smirk I stole one of the sticks, lighting it.

The afternoon went agonizingly slow and I had difficulty admitting that I thought back of Sebastian's lack of presence, multiple times an hour. It could almost be called missing… But I rather would name it boredom. I'd rather have awkward conversations with this man for hours than I would sit alone at a table with a book even if only for a fraction.

My tummy grumbling woke me from my thoughts and I decided I should cook something to keep me busy and to at least eat something. Sebastian had cooked all my dinners for the last three months but breakfasts had been my task as he'd still be sleeping in the mornings or wouldn't even be home yet by that time. Maybe he died? I grimaced at the thought… I wouldn't mind him dying, right? His job was dangerous and I didn't even want to know what he did during his nights… But… How would I get out of here if he'd never come back?

I cooked dinner, ate it with not much satisfaction as for the first time I realized that Sebastian was a good cook, and when night fell… I went back to my bedroom. An eerie atmosphere lingered around me but I was certain it was because of my three month life routine had been changed and as I laid down to sleep I guiltily hoped he'd be back tomorrow.

* * *

Day four… Day four without any sign of Sebastian. Day four of being absolutely isolated. Day four of no human contact whatsoever… And I was already going completely insane. I had recognized the signs of depression on an early stage into this being held hostage situation. As I had suffered from the illness many years ago I had been careful afterwards of to not sink back into it. The first signs of it were now clear to my mind and I knew how to manipulate such emotions for them to not grow. But, now that none of those resolutions were presents I couldn't stop from sinking further down.

A groan slipped from my lips as I sat on the sofa and I arched my neck to rest the back of my head on the backrest of the couch. Unlike Sebastian, who was so tall he could sag into the furniture and still rest his head on the back… I on the other hand had to sit stiffly upright and quickly noticed how uncomfortable every position felt. I changed my position into the lotus seated one and stared absently at my reflection in the black television screen across of me. I looked like a corpse. Pale, skinny, oversized clothes that belonged to Sebastian hung loosely on my bony body. Big bags rested underneath my eyes and the blurry reflection only increased the oddly looking copy of myself.

"Fuck…" I whispered and tore my eyes away from the TV, instead resting my forehead on the palm of my hand. I was merely a shadow of myself… Even before the four days of his absence I had been feeling horrible… This was absolute abuse. But being without my abuser… was even worse. I could no longer deny that I had grown attached to that man… And I missed him, horribly much.

He had been the only thing that held me sane… Even though he was the creator of my insanity, he still held me in place, held my chin above water.

Tears stung the corners of my eyes as I felt I just wanted to cry… to scream or to break something. The pent up hurt, trauma and anxiety had been boiling for the past three months and it now wanted to boil over the rim.

A sudden knock to the metal front door made me jump up and made the tears that wanted to break out disappear immediately. I looked over my shoulder towards the door and awaited what would happen next. Was it Sebastian? Had he somehow forgotten the code of the door? Or perhaps was too wounded so he was too weak to open it? Another firm knock was heard.

Carefully I crawled off the couch and silently walked towards the door barefooted. A bad feeling was stirring in my tummy and I already knew this wasn't him.

"Sebastian?" A male voice shouted from the other side of the door, his firm voice accompanied with a few hard knocks.

"Come on! I know you're in there… Open up!" The violent banging and the rattling of the doorknob made me hold my breath. Was this an enemy of his? Would he get inside? I stood frozen in place and stared at the piece of metal that separated me and the intruder who's voice vaguely sounded familiar.

"Sebastian!… The longer you put this off, the harder it's gonna get! Open up!" The voice got more impatient with each passing second and I soon heard a few mumbled curses.

"Sebastian!… I know how to pick this lock. So if you don't open up now… I'll burst inside and blow your fucking brains out! This is your last shot to talk!" A silence followed as I couldn't do anything and the man waited for the non-present Sebastian to reply.

"You had it coming, motherfucker." He growled barely audible behind the door and soon I could hear metal clinks… He was breaking the lock? My heart skipped a beat as I looked around. I had to escape! No, that was impossible. I had to hide!

As silent as possible I ran towards the bedroom, the only place I could hide in was the closet… Or I could lock myself in the bathroom? I decided quickly for the bathroom as the lock would give me more time. I stopped mid-run as I realized I should get a weapon.

My heart beated in my throat as I quickly turned back around to the kitchen and opened one of the drawers. I looked over my shoulder to the door and I could hear the lock picking get more sever and impatient. An occasional shaking of the handle made my breathing hitch even more and as I quickly grabbed the biggest kitchen knife I could find I ran back towards the bedroom and into the bathroom. Locking it behind me and pressing my back in the furthest corner of the room. With the knife held out firmly in front of me I waited…

The sound of the front door opening was heard and I could very clearly hear more than one pair of feet enter the house. Voices mumbled towards another and the sound of furniture being shoved around made me jump.

I stood there for what seemed hours but were only minutes and my knees trembled in anticipation and anxiety. My heart was racing and my breathing shallow.

"In here." I could hear vaguely before they entered the bedroom. I held my breath. My heart almost stopped and I stared wide-eyed to the bathroom door.

"Sebastian… Come out, come out, wherever you are." One of the voices spoke and the other snorted sarcastically. When the doorknob of the bathroom door started to thrash I held back a mewl and placed a trembling hand against my mouth to keep quiet.

"In here." Another mumble.

"Open up, fucking asshole! We'll bust this door in with much ease, you know that, prick!" A yelp left my lips as a loud kick was given to the door and the wood creaked heavily by the impact.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I was going to die!

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Thanks for reading!

Please review and make me a happy girl. The happier the ovaries, the sexier the chapters.


	8. The Acquaintances

Hi!

Yes, I'm updating twice in seven days. how COOL is that?

Truth is... I have been writing a bit of smutty smutty gay action in this story and it's in Chapter 9 and I just want to forcefeed you bitc-, ... lovies my porn.

So the sooner I update... the sooner we can all fap to that piece of FUCK.

Also, I've been in a wonderful mood because 2 stories I'm following on have been updated today! Hooray  
I highly recommend you check out the absolutely perfectly written 'His Butler, New Property' by eternalsundance AND the smutty smutty perverted The Circus Macabre by .

Well, some 'action' in this chapter. I hate writing action scenes, does it show? I think it's soooo difficult! So I hope it still is enjoyable for you sweethearts.  
Which reminds me; HUUUUGE thank you to all who reviewed/favd/storyalert'd this story. I absolutely get off on reviews so yeah... Keep them coming! See how happy you guys make me? It gives you two chapters a week. That's right... the more chapters I'm ahead, the more often I can update... And I happen to write a lot when happy and I HAPPEN to get happy by your reviews.

... Okay. Enough ranting.

Enjoy reading!

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**Chapter 7**

**The Acquaintances.**

_'CRACK'_ I winced at the sound of wood giving in under violent pressure and wide eyed I stared at the white door. Everything went silent after that and I knew the door had been busted. The silver handle slowly bend down as the 'enemies' pushed the door open.

Weakly I held out the kitchen knife in front of me as the door swung open slowly, an ironic creek filled the room before I took in the sight of the two intruders. They were both tall men. One of them had short blond hair and ice blue eyes. His features were sharp, the only softness to it were full moistened lips. The other man reminded me too much of Sebastian. Black hair, a bit shorter than my kidnapper's, was stroked back neatly. It shone almost greasily because of the hair products he most certainly had needed to keep such long hair pulled backwards without a pony tail. His eyes were an odd golden color, his lips stern and thin.

They were both dressed in neat black suits. The heavy silver guns they were pointing towards me though, formed an eerie contrast with the professional outfits.

"You…" The black haired male spoke. His voice was the one which had been shouting earlier and the familiar ring to it didn't make me doubt that he indeed knew me. His cat like eyes were now spread wide and obvious confusion rested on his handsome yet cold features.

My hands trembled pathetically as I held out the knife towards them, my back pressed firmly against the tile wall behind me. There was nothing I could do. All of us knew this. Two guns against one knife, it was certain that my life depended on these men from now on.

"What the fuck are you doing here? You're supposed to be dead." My blue eyes blinked slowly as my vision went blurry for only a second. Anxiety tried to soothe me by lowering blood pressure, whilst my survival instinct shouted at me to stay alert and sky rocketed the beating of my heart. I held my breath because of the battling body functions before my voice stuttered out a reply.

"I-I'm kept here." In the back of my mind I just prayed that these men would save me or at least just let me go and that they were only after Sebastian. Maybe they were undercover cops? My heart fluttered almost happily by that fantasy.

"He didn't kill him?" The blonde muttered in surprise towards the taller male. The raven haired man averted his eyes shortly towards his partner and his jaws clenched before the sound of grinding teeth filled the bathroom.

"I guess not. That just proves everything." He mumbled back mysteriously, my eyes drifted from their faces to the gun that was pointed towards me… If he were just a few steps closer I could grab it.

"What're we going to do?" The raspy voice that belonged to the youthful man trembled shortly before his ice blue eyes locked onto mine, I immediately looked away.

"Where's Sebastian?" The ink haired male spoke dangerously low, slightly shaking his wrist so the gun waved at me. I winced at the threatening movement.

"I-I don't know where he is." Before I even realized it, the man had taken a few large steps towards me and the knife clattered harshly as it fell onto the floor beneath. I choked and coughed as he pressed me against the wall roughly with his free hand, the other one drilled the barrel of the gun into my cheek and I groaned at the pain.

"Don't play any fucking games with me, kid. Where the fuck's Sebastian?" He shouted in my face, droplets of spit collided with my pale skin. My hands desperately pulled on his', fingers trying to squeeze between his palm and my throat. I couldn't breathe!

"Answer me!" He yelled and growled at the same time and tightened his grip on my windpipe. A pathetic sounding wheeze left my mouth and I could see various static-like dots appear in my sight, nearly blocking the image of the man's face.

"I-I… c-can't…" I tried to talk but the agonizing pain and lack of air prevented words to be formed and when I could feel consciousness slipping away, my eyes slowly rolling back, everything was let go off.

The sound of my body colliding with the floor, met my senses earlier than the pain it caused and a heavy fit of coughing was the next step as I laid on the floor. Expensive looking shoes calmly stood in front of my face, which had planted itself onto the tiles and I barely realized what had happened as I gasped for breath whilst holding my throat.

"Don't pass out on me, weakling." The voice above me muttered and I absently noticed how his feet shuffled around a bit.

"Now, kid…" I yelped as a hand grabbed my slate grey hair but went silent immediately when meeting the penetrating golden eyes of the unknown person. He sat back on his heels, holding me up with my hair and an eerie smirk lingered on his lips. I frowned and wondered why he reminded me so much of Sebastian… Family? Or perhaps I was growing delusional because of his absence. Either way I was frightened and disappointed that these men did not seem to be cops or detectives.

"Where's Sebastian?" My mind battled with the hard decision I had to make. Tell the truth, not be believed and get hurt? Or tell a lie, not be believed and get hurt?

"I swear… I swear on m-my life… I-I don't know." I whispered pathetically, remembering all the movies I had seen in my life where a person under threat would just spit in the assaulter's face and tell them to fuck off… But those were tales, there was no way I would stand up for myself now. Not with that gun pointing at me.

The man drilled his eyes into mine and it seemed that he was trying to read my face, before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Alright… How long has he been gone?" My brain had a hard time coming up with the facts and the second of hesitation seemed to make the man believe I was making up a lie in my mind. He shook my head harshly and I whimpered before shouting my answer quickly.

"F-four days! It's been four days!" Tears dangled from the corners of my eyes as I gazed at the assaulter through my wet eyelashes. This was horrible… This was fucking horrible.

"Has he visited in the meanwhile?"

"No." I immediately answered, not wanting to piss off this man who's anger management seemed to be nonexistent.

With a sigh he released my hair and got back up. I watched closely as he walked back to his partner and they started to whisper to one another. An occasional glance was thrown towards me, but the ringing in my ears prevented me to catch any of the words they were outing. I didn't even dare to get up from the cold tiled floor, instead I just kept laying down, my cheek pressed against the floor.

"Alright." The black haired man tucked the gun between clothed tummy and belt before walking into my direction. The quickness of his pace and the length of his steps made my instincts act and I quickly calculated the distance between myself and the knife on the floor, and myself and the man stalking towards me. Unfortunately enough he was too fast and I was too far away from the knife so I crawled onto my knees and hastily moved backwards. I ended up seating beneath the sink, back pressed against the wall, my legs pulled up defensively.

The tall man tsk'd under his breath before he leaned down and reached out his arm underneath the sink.

"N-no!" I shouted, panic finally came in contact with the survival instinct. I had no idea what was about to happen but I knew they were up to no good, so instead of allowing the man to grab my elbow, which he seemed to be aiming for, I slapped at his large hand.

"Fucking brat, come here!" My small frame made it easy for me to avoid his flailing limb and for a moment I thought about grabbing his arm and biting. But I didn't even dare to do that… not until necessary.

As his arm once again reached out, I flung my body to the left, his arm followed smoothly and it was then that I dashed towards my right and ran for the opened bathroom door.

"FUCK! GET HIM!" The black haired man shouted, anger in his voice very clear. The sneaky misleading movement I had pulled off earlier surely would do no good on his temper once he'd get a hold on me. But I had to at least try! I had to!

I had all forgotten about the blonde, but his stunned face and flinching because of the other's command, made me certain I could pass him in a second. And I did.

My bare feet rapidly moved over the floor as I ran through the hallway, every now and then stumbling clumsily. I could only pray that they had left the front door open.

I whimpered throughout my panting as I could hear both man running behind me, their shoes rumbled onto the wooden floor of the hallway and I cursed the gods for the ridiculous length of the large loft.

A mewl fell from my lips and my heart fluttered as I could see the front door left opened. I couldn't believe this! This would be it? I just had to outrun the psychopaths and I would be out!

"Shoot him!" My eyes widened at the demand and I had all forgotten about the guns they had, but before I could stop in my tracks, or reach the door, or raise my arms in defeat, a shot rang through the hall.

My body tumbled down almost groggily and the blurry vision in front of me felt like I wasn't even living this moment. It was just happening to someone else. This was a bad movie. Harshly, my body fell onto the wooden floor and the loud smack seemed to be the only thing that could wake me from the absolute shock of having been shot.

I looked down on my body and soon noticed the numb feeling in my left leg.

"Fuck… no." I whispered absolutely astonished as I took in the sight of the increasing pool of blood that rippled beneath my calve.

"Fucking brat!" The raven-haired male shouted as he stood next to me and I wouldn't have seen the blow to my stomach coming, even if I had wanted to. My breathing hitched, my insides turned and I could barely hold back the contents of my stomach.

"Hey… go easy on him, will ya?" The blonde's American accent got accompanied with a soft and almost gentle tone and as I cracked an eye open I could see a worried frown on his handsome face.

"Shut the fuck up. What is he to you? You know, Bard…" My ears perked at the name, telling myself I should remember it along with his face. Silently I watched the black haired man turn around towards his partner, his fists looked threatening beside his tensed body.

"Back then you had seemed to have grown a liking to this brat… I didn't like it one bit." As the taller one neared closer to the blonde named Bard, the so called young man shoved his hands against the other's broad shoulders with a scowl.

"What the fuck are you getting at?" He growled, any sign of gentleness completely absent. I couldn't understand what they were talking about and wondered what their fight was about. It had obviously something to do with me, but the dull pain that had started to radiate through my limb distracted me from thinking further about it.

"I don't like how friendly you were to him. Did you chose him on purpose in the crowd? Huh? Did you know all along who he was?" I held my breath… Were they talking about the robbery?

"What are you? Fucking jealous? You were the one fucking bitching my ass to make a rapid decision of whom to get as a hostage. I had to take a hasty decision! Besides, I could've never known who he was. We all didn't know! It's not my faulth! You fucking asshole!" My blue eyes blinked groggily when a loud punch filled the room and I could see Bard tumbling onto the floor. These were the guys who had robbed the bank? And Bard… was the one who had taken me hostage in the bank… Now that I came to think of it… I recognized those ice blue eyes and that American accent perfectly now. He had been the one, bringing me food and a blanket… And the other one had been the grumpy rational man whom I had taken as 'the leader' back then. I almost grew nauseas at the memories.

The taller one launched himself on top of the blonde and as they started to fight I looked back up at the opened door… This was it. This was my moment.

I grit my teeth and bit back the agonizing pain in my leg whilst raising me on my elbows. I started to crawl towards the door, only a few meters away from me. The numb leg I had to drag along felt heavy and sore, but I ignored everything as tears rolled down my cheeks and my breathing started to hitch. I could smell it, freedom. I could get away.

I didn't know what laid outside and I knew that these men would catch up on me in no time. But it was daytime, the men were fighting and I could only hope I'd bump into a savior when outside. It was the least I could do now… I had no other option except for dying.

The opened door came closer and closer and I could already peak outside. I could see gravel, sunlight, trees, a street…

"Oh god… please. Please." I begged as tears streamed freely down my cheeks and I crawled further towards the door. I was so close. The ironic sound of chirping birds met my ears alongside the scent of flowers and warm grass. Just one more drag… Just one more and I'd be out!

As I squeezed my eyes shut by the agonizing pain in my leg, which by now had traveled up through whole my body. As I curled up my nose by the hurt and the stench of blood. As I held my breath in anticipation and effort of my last 'step' out of here, I dragged myself on.

I froze when my arm came in contact with something hard. My wet eyes opened once again and I took in the sight of a pair of expensive black leather shoes.

My eyes dragged up over the well dressed black pants and up further over the white shirt and black tailored jacket.

"Se… bastian." I whispered his name weakly as crimson eyes, which I had missed agonizingly much, met mine.

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Aw don't look at me like that! I'm the queen of cliffies, you outta know that by now.  
Thanks for reading and please review!


	9. The Injured

Holy crap. 100 reviews? Thank you so much you guuuys!

Thanks for all who reviewed/fav'd/alert But I have an extra piece of lovin' for the reviewers, you should know that... Feel unloved? WELL YOUR OWN FAULTH. Goddamn review!  
I'm sorry... I shouldn't be so harsh on you... but seriously, friggin' review, you smexy lurker you, rrr

Okay, yes, 3 mothereffin' uploads in what? two weeks? maybe one.

Uhm, I don't like the first part of this chapter. Could've written it much better. I do like the second part though.  
Also very confusing things in this chapter, just to get the plot going. So I like for you to break your brains on what the hell is going on XD

Well anyways. Enjoy and don't forget to review!

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**Chapter 8**

**The Injured.**

"_Se… bastian." I whispered his name as crimson eyes, which I had missed agonizingly much, met mine. _A long lean finger pressed itself against his lips, his hand holding a large silver pistol.

"Shhh." He whispered, before his eyes darted inside as he leaned around the doorpost. I gasped weakly as he then reached over towards me and grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me up rather roughly. I groaned at the pain as my leg had to carry my weight for a second but then surprisingly enough I got lifted up.

His left arm wrapped itself firmly around my waist and automatically I cradled his neck with my arms.

"I can't leave you alone in case they're other ones following me. You'll have to go along with it… I recommend you close your eyes." I stared at his serious face in confusion. He looked absolutely tired. His messy hair and the dark bags underneath his eyes formed an eerie contrast with his pale skin as he refused to look into my eyes and instead stared into the hallway. But his crimson orbs twinkled almost dangerously as he stepped further into the building, carrying me along as if I weighed nothing. My feet dangled various inches above the floor and I tried my best to hold on tightly on his neck to decrease the weight his arm had to carry.

"W-where've you been?" His eyebrow arched at my question, but eyes kept roaming around as he held the gun out in front of him.

"Ciel. Please, close your eyes. Don't open them until I tell you to… Please promise me that." I bit my bottom lip and without even knowing why at the time, I obeyed and closed my eyes and buried my face into his neck. I could feel his rapid pulse and smelled the distinct scent of tobacco and soap. It created an overwhelming nostalgic feeling of comfort and I just wished it was the blood loss and pain that caused me to feel so delusionally attached towards this criminal.

"I promise…" I whispered into his throat and allowed him to carry me like a rag doll as he continued pacing. When he halted suddenly, his arm tensing, I already knew he had bumped into the other guys.

"Why, hello there, Sebastian… Long time no see." The black head spoke, I could hear Sebastian grinding his teeth and the fingers on my waist dug almost painfully into my skin.

"Skip the small talk, Claude. Why the fuck are you here?" I buried my nose deeper into the hot throat of my abuser and protector as I awaited the now named man's answer.

"I need my goods, I paid fair and square for 'em… But you seemed to have forgotten to get them delivered." A pause lingered and I frowned deeply at the odd conversation. I hissed at the pain in my leg right after and I didn't miss the soft squeeze of the man's hand, as if he wanted to comfort me… or perhaps tell me to stay quiet.

"You set me up back then. I had to get the coke so 'your' men could massacre me… Tell me, fucking dip shit, how does it feel when your own men turn tagainst you, hm?" Sebastian muttered arrogantly. An animalistic hiss could be heard and I wondered shortly where Bard was as he seemed to be lacking in the conversation.

"You did that?" Claude murmured.

"Oh Claude… Silly delusional fucker. I'm your boss… I'm the boss of 'your' men. Why would they ever turn to me when they know I can pay them five times what you do and I don't bitch about what color shoes they wear on a drug deal." A chuckle fell from his lips and I groggily smiled at the sound.

"Fuck you! Asshole! You fucking ruined my whole career, you son of a whore!"

"Bitch, please!" A pause when the crimson eyed man had shouted.

"You never had a career to begin with. Don't you think I knew what kind of filthy rat you were when I hired you? Don't you think I knew you'd set me up on that cocaine deal? Don't you think I knew you'd be coming after me? After my spot."

"What are you saying…?" Sebastian adjusted his grip on my waist and I tried desperately to stay awake.

"What I'm saying, you pussy, is that you being hired was all a plan of my own boss. You were able to infiltrate us into some mobs, but there was not a single man of our elite that didn't know you were being used until there was nothing more to suck out of you. You merely got rid of our dirty jobs." The sound of metal clicking was heard and I knew Sebastian had just cocked back the safety pin of his weapon. This is why he told me to close my eyes? He was going to murder him?

"What I'm saying, Claude, is that now is the time to die." My heart skipped a beat at those words spoken so coldly.

"W-what? No, don't fu-" I flinched and mewled weakly at the sound of a bullet being fired. The sound was surprisingly loud and my ears went deaf for a moment. I could even feel the slight recoil in his body. A few seconds of silence filled the atmosphere until I could hear a weak voice crying in agony.

"But, since you shot this boy here in the fucking leg… I guess the least I can do is do the same with your four limbs." Another shot got fired and this time I grew nauseas by the sickening cry of Claude. The pain in his desperate pants and whimpers was obvious and I realized once again that Sebastian was a psychopath after all.

"T-tell me…" The wounded man spat.

"D-does he know? Does the brat know?" Sebastian stirred, as did I. What the hell were they talking about? A pitiful laugh fell from Claude's lips and I could hear air flaring out of Sebastian's nostrils.

"Sebastian… Does the kid know that you're his-" Another shot sounded through the room, before the plump sound of what could only be a body hitting the floor, hit my ears. The crimson eyed man panted slightly before he started to release me, squatting down so I could lay down on the floor.

His body heat left me and I curled into a ball on the floor, keeping my eyes shut as the scent of blood and eerie silence warned me I would not be able to take in the sight of a body.

My consciousness was slipping away slowly and I could only hear vaguely how Sebastian maneuvered through the hallway.

"Scram." I could hear him mumble before an other pair of footsteps ran beside me and outside. I could only come up with that he had let Bard go.

The last thing I could take in before I passed out, was Sebastian cradling me in his arms and picking me up

* * *

The sterile scent of medication was the first thing that I noticed when waking up groggily. I recognized the bedroom almost immediately and a sigh left my lips as I took in the surroundings as Sebastian's place. I regretted the puff of air immediately and groaned at the hurt it had send throughout my body.

"Here, take these." I flinched violently when the smooth voice spoke and didn't understand how I could not have noticed the tall man hovering above me any earlier. Sebastian reached out a glass of water and two pills towards me. His face looked expressionless.

"What?" my voice cracked and my throat hurt. How long had I been out?

"They're painkillers. Your body took quite the shock." It only took a couple of seconds before I remembered the trippy events that had taken place. I had gotten shot in my leg… I had no idea my whole body would be aching because of this.

"No… I don't trust… y-you." I whispered weakly but tried my best to scowl at the man as our eyes met. A soft smile lingered on his lips and his eyes softened.

"Glad to see you're back to normal. You had me worried there for a while. Now take these, you couldn't feel any worse than this." I shrugged mentally at his odd confession and tried to sit upright.

"Ah!" I squeezed my eyes shut and grit my teeth at the jolt of pain that traveled from my left leg throughout my whole body. Sebastian hushed me and placed the back of his hand holding the pills, on my shoulders.

"Don't move." He muttered and tapped my chin with a small smirk.

"Open up." Too tired and hurt to scowl at him, I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue. He dropped the pills on the muscle suspiciously slowly, fingertips touching the moist pink flesh.

After I pulled my tongue back in, he then carefully placed the rim of the glass against my lips and tilted it slowly. I could barely hold back a fit of choking and quickly swallowed the water and medication as I laid on my back.

We remained seated in silence. Sebastian had taken place on a chair that rested beside the bed and as he smoked in silence I did not miss the occasional glance he threw me as I stared at the ceiling.

In the meanwhile I replayed the dreadful scene in my mind and tried to remember the conversation between Sebastian and Claude. I had been groggily clinging to the tall man's shoulder, pain and blood loss had fogged my brain and I had a hard time remembering exact words. Nevertheless I did remember a particular moment in their conversation which had confused me, but also warned me that there was more going on than my kidnapper let out.

"Hey…" I mumbled, my voice hoarse. The tall man stirred only shortly into his seat before leaning a bit forward towards me, elbows resting on spread legs.

"Yeah?" My blue eyes rolled to the side and met the dark crimson pair of his'.

"What are you… to me?" Sebastian's face remained absolutely expressionless and I couldn't spot a single hint of emotion on it.

"Your… kidnapper?" I frowned.

"No… Something I don't know… That guy, Claude…" I took a deep breath and sighed in relief at the lack of pain thanks to the painkillers.

"H-he asked if I knew that you're my… something. What did he want to say?" The tall man finally broke eye contact, making me more wary, before he brushed a bony attractive hand through his messy long hair.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You must have heard something wrong… You we're half out the whole time I carried you." With a grimace on my lips I dragged my eyes away from his handsome face and looked back at the dull ceiling above me. Should I let this go? I felt horribly weak anyways and didn't feel like fighting at all… I decided I would let it slip, for now.

"Anyways, I'll be right back. We're going to clean that wound of yours." The tall man placed large hands on his knees and pushed himself up from the chair before disappearing into the bathroom.

A sigh left my dry lips as I over thought the current situation. A small part inside of me was glad he was back 'home'. An other part knew that I shouldn't feel this pleased… That I shouldn't feel so much at ease. He was a murderer. He had shot a man with much ease… cold bloodedly. What made me believe he wouldn't do this to me? But somehow I did believe this… I believed he would not hurt me. Not anymore. He felt more like my protector. He held me hostage but… He took care of me, was great company and made me feel at ease, somehow.

When the man of my thoughts entered the bedroom with a large bowl of water, I shoved aside my previous thoughts. Our eyes met and a smile fell on his lips as they did… Before I even knew, I had smiled back at him, weakly but nevertheless genuinely. I didn't want him to leave anymore. Those four days without him had been hellish. I had been so lonely, so sad and most of all I had been lost and confused. I had gotten completely used to spending my every day with him. Sure, I did not have a choice… But I doubted more and more if I'd ever change my mind if I got the ability to chose. I even doutbed that I would be able to function and survive without him.

Sebastian pulled the chair closer to the edge of the bed, so he sat next to my legs and gently pulled aside the blanket. I was relieved to see I was wearing boxers, but the clean feeling to my body informed me of that he had washed me after the incident.

"How long have I been out?" I croaked and observed the raven haired male as he started to remove the bandages from my calve. I hissed slightly, but was certain that the painkillers had already taken away a big part of the discomfort.

"About a day." His crimson orbs flashed shortly towards my face as he started to peel the last part of the fabric off my leg. Dried blood made it stick to the flesh and I squeezed my eyes shut to block out the pain. Soon enough he had removed the bandage and then started to gently dap a warm washing cloth onto the wound after having lifted my leg slightly at the knee.

"Where were you?" I couldn't stop myself from asking him this… Still not able to get over the fact that he had left me helplessly behind. I observed his profile and watched the characteristic arching of his eyebrow before he replied.

"On a mission." He dried the wound with a small towel before opening a small bottle of which I could guess of it to be disinfection fluid.

"How many people did you kill in those four days?" He paused at that question, a slight frown on his pale face before he looked sideways towards me. I wanted to know more… More of his criminal side. More of the monster that was him.

"Honestly?" He spoke, his voice raspy as it sounded each late afternoon when he woke up and didn't have anything to drink or eat yet.

I nodded as he started to wrap a new bandage around the disinfected wound and calve.

"Maybe five… ten, I don't know." He shifted uncomfortably on his chair and I found it strange that the subject bothered him. Was he a hypocrite? Did he like to kill people, only if he would never have to mention it again?

"And in total?" He sighed through his nose whilst finishing the bandaging and as he pulled the blanket back over my leg, he then raised himself from the chair.

"I've lost count." He spoke as we looked at one another. I nodded shortly before eying the ceiling above me, once again. Silently I dismissed him out of the room. Not feeling comfortable anymore with his presence, I just wanted to be alone for a while. Alone with the confusing thoughts and feelings of having accepted him as a part of my life.

"Does it bother you?" The man stood tall at the foot end of the bed, and the clinking sound of a Zippo being shut, rang into my ears.

"That you lost count?" I mumbled, already knowing what he had actually meant.

"That I kill people." A sigh fell from my dry lips and I groggily closed my eyes.

"I'll have to ask my psychiatrist when I get out of here." I listened closely for any movement, reply or sigh but the only sound that broke the minute long silence, was the in- and exhaling of smoke.

"Ciel…" I stirred as his deep voice cut through the heavy atmosphere and cracked one eye open to meet his serious and unreadable gaze.

"I never meant for you to get hurt." He spoke softly before taking one last drag of the butt from the cigarette.

"Yeah well… Newsflash; you did." I muttered under my breath before averting my eyes back up towards the ceiling above. Another few minutes of silence followed before he finally left the room without saying another word. I somehow prepared for the slamming of the door… but he closed it softly behind him as he left me alone.

A frown rested on my pale face. I didn't understand what was going on here. What was going on between us… It was all still a mystery.

* * *

Lol, I used a meme.  
Also, LOOK AT THAT. NO CLIFFHANGER! I expect many kind words and treats from all the cliff haters!

Okay, next chapter... oh boy... I'll say three words. Whiskey and Weed. FUCK... Should've named the story that. Dammit.

Okay, thanks for reading! And pleaaaase review!  
What do you think about the mysterious conversation between Claude and Sebastian?  
And what Ciel is feeling, is it really love or rather the distored view because of Stockholm Syndrom?

Next chapter; Thursday... smutlovers will LOVE it. Shit's gonna happen, yummy


	10. The Conversion

Be prepared... shit's gonna get down in this chap!  
Ladies, hold ya ovaries!  
No... it's not THAT hot... I'm not even rereading this. So I apologize for any mistakes.  
Drugs and smut, be warned. Fic gets taken down? No worries, follow my tumblr/friend me on facebook (details in profile)  
One fic gets taken down, I will abandon FF . net . And I KNOW I'm not the only one

A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE thank you to all you cuties who reviewed. Honestly, this story is receiving lotsof love and your reviews make my kokoro go doki doki!  
Lol... I HAD to say that once.

Okay, enjoy reading and PUHlease for the LOVE of GOD, review XD

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**The Conversion.**

**(alternate chapter title; Whiskey and Weed)**

"Dude…" I chuckled in amusement towards Sebastian who sat next to me on the sofa. His legs sprawled messily over the low table.

"What?" He grumbled as he cocked one eyebrow while gazing at me from the corner of his eye. His strong jaws chewed feverously on the bite of food.

"You just ate a piece of your napkin." I snorted as I tried hard not to burst out into laughter, which seemed impossible after having had at least six glasses of Whiskey and a few drags on the suspicious cigarette that smelled like a barbeque.

"What?" He mumbled, his eyes half lid as they had gotten heavy with similar abuse of alcohols and drugs. He eyed the small treat in his hand and his eyes widened when spotting the missing corner of the paper napkin that was wrapped around the food.

"…Shit." He mumbled before swallowing the food in his mouth. His eyes widened as he realized too late that he had now eaten the paper completely and when his eyes turned to met mine, in a hilarious shocked gaze, I lost it. The way his droopy eyes, reddened by the influence of drugs, spread open almost lazily. His mouth forming an 'o' in genuine shock and the way his long raven black hair stuck messily into all directions (because he had rubbed fingers through them all night in a frantic attempt of removing bangs from sight) he just looked hilarious.

My eyes shut close whilst a heavy fit of giggles and groans left my mouth, and my arms quickly wrapped themselves around my belly as it began hurting by the frantic spasms of my ribcage and tummy area. I let my body fall backwards into the sofa and brought up my legs to kick them around almost childishly whilst the most genuine and loud noises of laughter burst out of my mouth.

"H-hey! Watch that leg of yours, kid." Sebastian slurred and I could hear the smile in his attractive voice. The fit of giggles and chuckles soon eased down and as I rested myself comfortable into the large couch I raised an eyebrow when meeting Sebastian eyes.

"Don't be silly, man. It's been a month since I got shot. It's long healed." I growled before bending towards the table and pouring another shot of whiskey in the small glass. Sebastian motioned his naked toes towards his own cup and I filled his one as well. I put the bottle back down and took the two glasses, reaching one of them to the man, he nodded a short thank you before taking it from me.

"The bullet went deep into the muscle, it can take months before it's healed that deeply." he muttered as he eyed the small glass in his large hand. He drained the liquid in one swift motion of throwing his head back and I held back an approving groan at the sight of the long masculine throat.

With a grimace I cursed myself mentally. I should've never started drinking with him around. There were two things that hard liquor did to me. One; make me vomit in the morning and two; get me as horny as I could get.

Sneakily, like a girl eying her crush at school, I observed him placing the cup down clumsily onto the table, before grabbing the spliff from the ashtray. As he cradled one hand around the other, he lit the stick between his lips and leaned back down in the sofa. He inhaled deeply with a soft groan and exhaled with a smile.

"You look so hot, man…" A silence lingered between us before I realized what I had just said and with a groan I quickly drank the Whiskey from my cup whilst avoiding his groggy eyes. I was absolutely drunk. No doubt.

"Thanks… bro." I snorted and as our eyes met he smirked around the spliff between his lips. The pleasing herb scent filled my nostrils and I reached out my hand towards him.

"Bro?" I muttered, not remembering he had ever called me like that before. He puffed a moment on the stick before reaching out to my hand and I happily rested the drugged cylinder between my own lips.

"Ever smoked before?" He muttered as he started at the ceiling, his head resting casually on the back of the sofa. I took a deep drag and when feeling the need to cough, I pressed my lips together, not allowing any air to escape my lungs which wanted to heave desperately. When the need to scrape had disappeared I let the yellow-ish smoke part from my lips.

"Yeah…" My voice cracked slightly. I recalled the earlier days in my adolescence when I had smoked weed with friends at their place. I didn't like it as much back then as I did now. Then again, it could be the mixture of alcohol which made it that more enjoyable this time.

"That's nice…" He whispered and blinked heavily. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before I reached the spliff back to him. He raised his head from the back of the couch and eyed me from beneath dark lashes.

"Tell me more about yourself, hm?" He croaked with an attractive smile lingering on full lips. The hot feverish feeling caused by alcohol now rose to the surface because of the handsome man eying me like that and I ignored the profound blush on my cheeks.

"What do you want to know?" I mumbled as I reached towards the bottle on the table. My arm swayed disturbingly much, but I wasn't too sure if it wasn't just my sight messing up the balance. Eventually I had grabbed a hold of the glass bottle but chose to sip from it rather than risk pouring the remaining golden liquid over the table.

"I want to know…" He slurred slightly before pushing out the butt of the cylinder in the ashtray. I mentally pouted.

"If you should consider taking some clothes off." My eyebrow arched as our eyes met over the rim of the bottle's neck.

"What?" I blew into the glass and my voice echoed funnily.

"You look flustered, kid. Take something off… What are you, a nun?" He held back a hiccup before smirking devilishly towards me.

"Not to mention… I'd like to have you drunk AND naked." He muttered under his breath but my ears perked at the words. Truth was… I was absolutely hot indeed. I couldn't stand the clothes on my body and I would just want to lie down on the floor naked… But, a sense of danger and threat was present around the man and I wasn't too sure if I should listen to my needs and his urge.

"I don't know about that… Will you promise to keep your hands off me?" Our eyes locked on and I tried to hold back a fit of giggles when his mouth corners curled up once again and his eyes narrowed.

"I can't promise anything, kid." A second of silence before I slammed down the bottle on the table.

"Fair enough." I growled drunkenly before crossing my arms and grabbing the lower edge of the shirt I was wearing. As I arched my back, seated onto the edge of the couch, I pulled the fabric up and over my head before tossing it over the table. Sebastian nodded in what seemed to be approval as he filled up his glass with the liquor, grumbling when it poured over the edge.

"Pants to, please." I scratched my flat and pale tummy before standing up with a sigh. I stumbled for a second and ignored the man's soft laughter before I pulled down my jeans over narrow hips and eventually kicked them off my naked ankles and feet.

"Underwear also?" I asked with a thick tongue as I pointed to the black briefs hugging my bulge and cheeks tightly. Sebastian cocked his eyebrow characteristically.

"Only if you'll sit on my lap afterwards."

"No way…" I frowned before hiccupping loudly. I was drunk enough to undress but I wasn't smashed enough to actually consider sitting on that guy's lap. Honestly… He was still fully dressed in black jeans and a black T-shirt… What made him the king of the fabrics?

"Did you just call me 'King of the fabrics'?" My head shot up towards him before I sat back down carefully on the sofa.

"…I-I said that out loud?" I whispered in absolute shock, my blush grew warmer as embarrassment washed over me. Sebastian nodded with a sly smirk before gulping down another glass of Whiskey.

"I'm so drunk, man… Sorry, I don't know what I'm saying or thinking anymore." I whined as my tongue felt numb in my mouth. My body was heavy and my movements felt uncoordinated.

"That's okay. It's no problem at all." He muttered and I vaguely noticed him crawling towards me as I laid flat on my back on the sofa. I stared at the ceiling until Sebastian's handsome face blocked my view and my eyes lazily focused onto his'.

"What?" I muttered as I couldn't decode the soft smile on his lips and the hazed look in his crimson eyes. He leaned down slowly and his eyes shortly focused onto my lips.

"W-what're you doing?" I whispered as my heart skipped a beat. His nose bumped gently into mine and I stirred when his hot breath fanned over my lips.

"S-Sebastian…" I stuttered into a whisper, the heath that rose inside of me could not be denied and my drunken mind forbid me to move. A soft mewl sounded in my throat when the tips of his lips met mine and my eyes couldn't help but flutter close.

"Let me have this…" He whispered, his voice hoarse and nearly pained.

"Just one kiss… Let me have it." I nodded hastily and moaned shortly as his lips closed the distance and pressed upon mine. The heat inside of me burst throughout my core and I opened my lips eagerly before hooking heavy drunken arms around his neck. A soft groan left his throat at my action and with a feverish frown I pulled him closer to me.

His tongue slipped inside eagerly, tasting of alcohol and tobacco, and it explored every crook and bump in my mouth impatiently. One of his large hands planted itself onto my cheek and as he started to rub my ear with long fingers, half pulling me closer, I let out another mewl.

I dug my hands into the black mass of hair and hooked fingers into strands as I cocked my head sideways only a little, to deepen the kiss even more. My tongue met his' and the slippery muscles quickly fought a battle of dominance. As Sebastian noticed me wanting to take lead into the kiss, he grinded his pelvis almost painfully into mine and a groan followed behind the gasp I had let out and that got lost into his mouth.

Even through the thick fabric of his jeans I could still feel the large and rock hard length of his need and my body arched into his' instinctively.

I whined in disappointment when his lips tore away from mine but hissed as he bit into my lower lip almost viciously with a grunt rolling in his throat as he pushed his stiff arousal between my legs. Eagerly I spread my legs and hooked my ankles on his lower back.

"Ciel…" He feverously whispered my name as his teeth and lips traveled lower and started to nibble and kiss on the skin of my throat. His hand which had been brushing my ear, now folded into a fist into my slate grey hair and I arched my neck eagerly to gain him more access. I hissed at his hand pulling my hair, absolutely loving the dominant action and when his other hand placed itself in the small of my back, tilting my hips up so he could grind his need into my clothed bottom, I moaned his name greedily.

"Ah… Sebastian… C-come on." I almost complained. His tongue dragged itself over my Adam's apple teasingly slow before his full hot lips nipped on my chin. I let one of my hands lower over his strong neck and shivered when he again started to kiss my lips. It couldn't even be called a kiss. His lips smashed into mine and his tongue fought a battle of never ending dominance with my own. Our teeth clashed in our haste and the heavy drunken pants were the only sounds that met my ears, next to an occasional moan from me and growl from him.

My trembling hand brushed over his muscled back and I took in the sensation of his shoulders rolling as he thrust his arousal between my legs.

"Tell me what you want…" He moaned against my lips and I opened my eyes slightly, a ticklish sensation traveled through my body as I met the passionate gaze. His normally crimson eyes had darkened to a black and a slight blush covered his cheekbones as he panted heavily, his hips grinding slowly.

"F-fuck, Sebastian… Why don't you just f-find out?" I moaned, annoyed at his patience and questioning.

"Because… if you don't tell me now, I won't be able to stop then." He licked my lips sloppily and I hissed at the animalistic move and the passionate words. He suddenly pulled away from me and I yelped when he raised my lower half into the air, one hand kept my hips angled as the other hooked fingers behind the edge of my briefs, on my lower back. Before I could stop him he had pulled off my underwear swiftly and as he slowly spread my legs to flank his body once again, his eyes took in the sight of my naked body.

An almost pained frown rested on his face before his large bony hand traveled from my chest over my tummy. A shiver rolled through my body and I panted feverously as his hand got closer to the throbbing length that stood upright proudly.

This was it. I would have my first experience with a man. I had fantasized about it for years and now it would happen. I knew I was drunk, 'fried', horny and not in a place to be able to make good judgment calls, but I couldn't care less… I knew this man was someone I should not grant anything, especially not my body. This man was a murderer. A kidnapper. An abuser… But fuck… I wanted him so bad! I had dreamt of this day for the last couple of months. I had guiltily fantasized about this moment every night, feeling disgusted with myself but nevertheless I had been able to jack off to the fantasy each time again… And now it would be happening.

"Ah!" I shouted in pleasure as his long hot fingers wrapped around my length. Our eyes met and his face remained downright serious. He was so handsome I couldn't stand it.

"Come on… Move your hand." I whispered impatiently. My body felt as if it were on fire and the only thing I wanted right now was friction. When he moved his hand up slowly, dragging the foreskin over the throbbing tip, my mouth fell agape and my eyes fluttered close. I couldn't remember the last time anyone else had touched it but me… And I couldn't remember when I had ever longed for a person this much.

"Look at me…" He whispered and I moaned pathetically as he moved his hand up and down in a teasingly slow pace.

"Ciel…" I jerked as his free hand suddenly brushed over my right nipple, fingertips starting to play with the pink bud.

"No…" I whined, feeling too embarrassed to look at the male who was working his magic on my arousal.

"Come on, baby… You're so beautiful… Let me see your face… Let me see your eyes." His voice was hoarse and begging and with a groan I turned my face towards him before opening my eyes slowly. I pressed my lips together when I met his gaze, but my mouth opened once again into short pants as he squeezed the hand around my length a bit tighter and increased the pace of his movements.

"Ah… fff-…" The curse withered away into the atmosphere and my eyes fluttered shortly before they focused back onto Sebastian's face. The man was panting softly, eyes slightly lid as his orbs traveled from my face, to his hand jerking me off and back up to meet my gaze.

"Does it feel good?" He muttered and a sly smirk rested on plump lips. I nodded eagerly, hoping he would increase the teasing pace. His other fingers removed themselves from my nipple and traveled down over my hard tummy which contracted by the ticklish sensation. I moaned softly and frowned when his hand brushed over my thigh before fingers caressed the soft rocks between my legs. I gasped at the sensation.

"Y-yeah…" I finally answered him and tilted my hips whilst spreading my legs.

"Yeah?… You want more?" He whispered, one corner of his mouth curled up attractively, the small wrinkles it created made my insides tickle with desire and a feeling that came close to affection. This beautiful man… This devilishly handsome specimen, he was pleasuring me and me alone. His eyes were on me, he was panting and moaning for me. Because of me, the rock hard bulge in his pants had grown.

"Yes… I w-want more… Sebastian." I enjoyed how his name rolled of my thick tongue. I held my breath when he stopped moving his hand and leaned forward between my legs.

"Oh god…" I groaned, throwing one arm over my forehead, the other one flanked my side lazily. From beneath my lashes I watched him bend towards my throbbing need. His long fingers held the base of my arousal, keeping it upright and steady as he lowered towards it with his face.

"Oh… god…" I repeated almost in a trance when his mouth opened slowly. His hot breath fanned over the red head and the spit moment before lips wrapped around cock, his eyes rolled up to meet mine.

A gurgled long moan fell into the room as hot and moist lips cradled needy hard flesh and my eyes couldn't take the gaze he threw me, so I closed mine before lowering my forearm over my face.

My breathing hitched as he took my flesh deeper into his mouth.

"Ah… shit…" I moaned drunkenly as he started to suck me off slowly. His head bopped up and down steadily. His tongue dragged lazily over the lower side of my arousal, before it swirled around the tip and the hot cavern traveled back down over the length.

My right hand finally rested itself on top of the man's head and fingers tangled themselves in the long raven black strands. My eyes peeked from beneath my arm and I immediately lost my breath when I took in the sight of those delicious lips moving up and down the shaft. The hard skin glistened because of saliva and the trail of white liquid it left behind made me growl deeply. My fingers tightened their grip and as I panted heavily I pushed and pulled his head up and down. Begging without words for him to move faster.

Sebastian hummed deeply and I could see a smirk curling the corners of his lips as he increased his pace.

"Ah yeah… it feels so good, man…" I moaned and arched my body into his mouth, loving the sight of his nose burying into the small patch of black pubes. He shook his head softly as my need was buried to the base inside his cavern and I hissed at the lovely ministration.

Saliva traveled freely down the shaft as he pulled back up and I vaguely noticed one of his fingers collecting the spit. I didn't give much attention to it and instead closed my eyes once again as I threw back my head and started to buck my hips into his mouth.

"Faster…" I whined with a feverous frown and a chuckle fell from his throat as a response. I mewled as two of his fingers teased the soft rocks beneath my shaft, but the collecting pleasure in my cock made me not care what the hell he was doing down there. I just wanted for him to suck harder, move faster, to make me cum.

I gasped and shivered in shock and pleasure when a slick finger slid inside of my hole without warning.

"F-fuck… what're you doing?" I whimpered and cracked an eye open towards him. His crimson orbs met mine but he just smiled around my length, shrugged and raised his eyebrows in an 'iunno' kind of way. As he swirled his tongue around the tip, making sure I saw the slick motion of his tongue around the red head, he pulled out his finger, leaving one knuckle in. I cursed under my breath and threw my head back. My skin had gotten sweaty all over, my brain was foggy and my body trembled in absolute need for release.

When he lowered his head to take in the complete length of my arousal, his finger slid back inside of me and I groaned whilst arching my body awkwardly. It was a strange and foreign sensation. But I was so drunken and so horny, anything felt good really.

"Come on… finish me." I whined and roughly pulled his hair. He groaned at the violent ministration but complied and started to suck me of harder and faster. My body melted as he inserted another finger inside of me and as he started to fuck my entrance with his fingers, he bopped his head up and down in the same rapid pace. He went faster and faster and I could literally feel the pleasures of orgasm building into the core of my shaft. All sensations traveled towards my pelvis and as my arousal hardened, my hips stiffened and my body froze, I could feel all the built up desire rush throughout my whole body like miniscule sparks of absolute pleasure eating away inside of me.

Semen spurted out generously into the hot cavern of his mouth and the muscled rings tightened around the two long fingers that had curled upwards to brush my prostate at the exact moment he had given the one last suck.

My breathing was nonexistent and I could only witness various white dots in my vision as Sebastian lazily sucked out the spend orgasm. When his lips finally released my reddened flesh, and when fingers pulled outside of me gently, it was then that I fell back onto the sofa, my body trembled and a shuddering breath was taken as my heart rapidly tried to pick up its right pace after having skipped a few beats.

I panted harshly, feeling absolutely dizzy and euphoric, and didn't open my eyes until I heard the man between my legs hum.

"You taste absolutely wonderful, Ciel… Even better than I imagined." I shivered at the words. The drunken high of drugs and arousal had worn off and I slowly started to realize who it was I had allowed to do this to me.

"… Shut up." I growled and crawled off the sofa. My knees were wobbly and my head light, but I grabbed my briefs on the floor and stumbled towards the bedroom quickly. I couldn't believe I had allowed him to do this to me. I couldn't believe I had fallen for this man.

I made sure to slam the door shut behind me, hoping he would hear the violent closing of the door… hoping he'd hear the desperate and hurt agony of my being.

* * *

Thanks for reading, feel free to tell me anything about your uterus and ovaries in your review!


	11. The MorningAfter

Hello my adorable sugar coated kittens!

Thanks so much for all the reviews on the last chapter. There were a few very interesting ones (you probably know who you are)

Honestly I don't like this chapter... I kind of lost control on the story which I always seem to have when I'm trying to work from the middle to the early ending.  
Either way, I'll try better on the next one!  
Ciel's thoughts are very contradicting in this story. But remember, this child is a victim of Stockholm Syndrom and/or love. So I did mean for his thoughts to make no sense at times or even the mental lying to himself. It's not a mistake, it's intended.

Well, i hope you all enjoy this nevertheless.  
Please review and let me know!

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**Chapter 10**

**The Morning After**

The next day was awkward to say the least. After having spend all day secretly worrying that he would once again not return at night, he did arrive 'home' around eleven PM. A big smirk plastered on his face as we met for the first time after what had happened last night. I blushed deeply as our eyes met and quickly focused on the book in my lap.

"Aw don't pout like that, babe. Aren't you happy I'm back home so early?" As he walked passed me, his hand quickly squeezed my tensed shoulder before he rummaged through the fridge in search of a late night snack.

"Since when did you start working day times anyways?" I growled in displeasure, ignoring the hot sensation his hand had left on my skin and tried to focus on the letters that danced on the white pages of the book that rested in my lap. My heartbeat had increased and deep down inside of me I was glad he was home. I didn't remember when I had been seeing this place as my 'home'… But truth was, this was all I had left in life and I'd better make the best off it.

"It's only for a couple of weeks… I do enjoy our nights together." He chuckled before closing the fridge behind him. I watched him move around in the corner of my eye and stayed silent as he put down a can of Coke in front of me, opening it with a flick motion of long fingers before sitting down across from me.

Reluctantly I sipped from the sweet treat he had offered to me and observed Sebastian as he lit a cigarette with a pleased sigh. He himself had opened a can of beer which was very unlike him. The man enjoyed the more expensive liquors one could enjoy. I had not seen him drink lousy beer that many times before. And frankly, the can of golden alcohol did not suit the well dressed man one bit.

"What are you scowling at, kid?" He smirked around the cylinder between full lips. For a second I saw those same lips wrapped around my hard length and with a blush I looked back down.

"Nothing… Beer doesn't suit you." I mumbled, turning a page even though we both knew I was not reading.

"I'm still celebrating last night. Did you have a hangover when you woke up?" I stirred at his first words and slammed the book shut before placing it down on the table we sat at. I took another sip from the Cola and my blue eyes rested on his handsome face.

"No." I lied. Remembering the early afternoon as a mismatch of emptying my stomach and popping pills to stop the banging in my head. I would never drink again… Probably a lie.

"I fucking loved last night, Ciel." He whispered hoarsely and I avoided his eyes which drilled into me. I felt awkward by his words. I could not deny I had enjoyed last night a lot… But alcohol and drugs had pushed away the fact that it had been this man who had given me such pleasure. Anyone else would've been fine… But it felt wrong to have him treating me so lustfully. I could feel arousal awakening and I gave the growing bulge a squeeze underneath the table, soothing it.

I had grown so used to him… Even fondness had been developed somewhere along the ride. I could hardly remember life before him and this situation. I did not even miss family, friends and freedom. I just had become numb and the only thing that roamed my mind was this man. The only thing I thought about was his beautiful tall and lean body and the devilishly handsome face of his'.

"Good for you." I mumbled and played with the small tap of the can. I wondered what held him back from raping me. He had made advances to me ever since I had been locked up in here, but somehow he had never gone too far.

My eyes rolled up to meet his' and I blushed as I noticed he had already been watching me. His handsome face leaned on the palm of his hand, middle and index finger holding the cigarette next to his face. A smirk lingered on full pink lips.

"What's on your mind?" He asked me with a smile, his ring finger and pinkie scratching his head, black strands of his hair messily distorted by the movement.

"You won't answer me anyways… You always brush off my questions like they don't matter at all. Like I don't need to know anything at all." I shrugged shortly before taking another sip from the can. When he didn't reply I gazed at him from behind my slate grey bangs. My hair had grown ridiculously long in the various months of being here.

Sebastian took a drag from his cigarette, eyes narrowing as if he thought about what I had just said.

"Try me." I rolled my eyes but nevertheless shot out questions.

"Who are you to me? What did that guy mean? When will you let me go? Why haven't you raped me?" I winced as I had blurted out that last question and with flustered cheeks I focused back on the can of Coke.

"I'll drop the first two question in exchange of pure honesty to the last two ones." I grimaced that he was still holding back information from me, but my interest peeked as he mentioned honesty to some of the questions.

"To answer your first question, of when I will let you go…" A slow drag was taken from the cigarette as he stared casually off into the distance. My teeth grinded at his 'patience' which seemed to be faked only to annoy me.

"I'll let you go when time is right." My heart dropped at the lame answer and my blue orbs lowered to stare absently at the can of Coke resting between my palms.

"To answer the second one." He mumbled before his left eyebrow twitched shortly as the corners of his mouth pulled down. The characteristic grimace made my insides turn only shortly in admiration of his king-like posture. He looked so brushed off. Tall, well dressed, pale, strong, mysterious… But the metaphorical scent of blood hung around him and I was afraid that this was another thing that turned me on about him.

"I think it is wrong to rape someone. It's as simple as that." I snorted at his ironic answer.

"Yet, you murder people everyday without being affected about it." A silence followed as I had spoken those words harshly… His crimson eyes stared down at the can of beer in front of him, a deep frown distorted his handsome face and lips were pressed together in what seemed to be held back anger.

"Don't say that." He whispered deeply and my breathing hitched at the dangerous tone of his voice. He was angry? Fucking hypocrite.

"Say what? The truth? That you shoot people, murder them, perhaps even slaughter them on a daily basis? Yet, you're as shallow and hypocritical to say that you won't rape because it's wrong? Like this makes you a hero? A fucking lying and pitiful hero?"

"STOP IT!" He shouted and slammed a large hand on the table. I gasped and jumped in my seat as the impact had made the table shift. Both cans had dropped and the liquid poured out of them steadily. Our eyes locked and I held my breath as he stood there like a predator. He had raised from his chair whilst having hit the furniture, the sound of which still ringed in my ears. His tall lean upper body was slightly bent forward over the table, making him tower over me even with the wood in between us.

"You have no fucking clue about how I feel about my life!" His voice was slightly shaky, which was a new thing. I had never heard him so angry, so… emotional, before. His eyes were wide, unlike the permanent bed-room look they used to have and his jaws clenched.

We waited for many minutes. I was too scared to say anything, afraid he would lose himself and hurt me and I could only he guess he was fearing the same thing.

"… You know how long it takes me to wash the blood away?" I kept quiet, knowing that this was a question only asked to be answered by the questioner if not to remain unanswered.

"Do you know how long it takes for me to fall asleep? Do you know how much the stench of fired bullets and blood disrupts my mental sanity? Do you even realize how many times the sound of gunfire and screams for forgiveness, pleads for help and cries of absolute fear ring in my ears whenever I am not preoccupied with something else?" I remained silent as I observed his face, his expression intense with emotions I had never seen before on this man. I was not sure of what to say as his eyes drilled into mine, awaiting a comment from me. The only thing I would come up with as an answer was that this all was his own fault, that he was in charge of his own finger pulling the trigger… But I didn't dare.

The man lowered his face and sighed deeply, his broad shoulders heaved by the intake of breath before it puffed back out. My mind raced around to find the appropriate emotion for this situation and his words spoken so passionately. Truthfully I felt sorry for him… and not in a pitiful way but more so in a way that I just wanted to comfort him. But my mind knew darn well that this was wrong to feel. It was wrong for anyone to love a murderer.

I groaned shortly and slapped a hand on my mouth. 'to love a murderer'… Love? This wasn't love, right? This couldn't be. How could I ever come to like, let alone love, a man like him? This was wrong. Possible, but wrong. It should never happen.

I noticed too late that Sebastian was staring intensely at me, his eyebrow raised questionably at the sound I had produced.

"What?" He mumbled with a frown, seeming to have come back to himself after the emotional outburst which probably had been unwanted from his side.

"N-nothing." I shook my head as I lowered my hand and looked away.

"Tell me." He spoke with a serious face. I sipped awkwardly from the spilled can of Coke before putting it back down, realizing this would only show the man how nervous I was.

"Nothing, really. Just let it go." I mumbled awkwardly as I scratched the back of my head, growing even more nervous as the man pushed himself away from the table and walked around it towards me. My insides crawled as he came closer and I feared his reaction. He was unreadable at times.

As he leaned against the corner of the table with his hip, one hand casually planting itself on the flat surface of the furniture, his other had gently rested itself on my shoulder, his long fingers squeezing through the fabric of my thin shirt.

"Ciel, … you need to know, I'd never hurt you. Okay? You do know that, right?" I carefully looked up at him, his lips were slightly smiling but his eyebrows curled up in a concerned expression. I sunk my teeth into my full bottom lip as I doubted the truthfulness of his words.

He had hurt me,… right? He was holding me hostage… for many months now. And he had… A frown rested on my face as I couldn't come up with more things he had done wrong to me. He had fed me, had given me his bed, had never inappropriately touched me without my permission except for those rare ocassions in the beginning, yet he'd let me go as soon as I pleaded for him to, he had never hit me, physically hurt me… Not intentionally. Never. He had done nothing wrong? No… He had been good to me. Sure there was a reason that he couldn't let me go just yet. Surely there was a good side to him, to not hurt me… even though he murdered human beings day in day out. Surely this all proved that he was a good person, at least to me… right?

"Ciel…" He called my name once again as the hand removed itself from my shoulder to instead take my chin gently between long fingers. He lifted my head to meet his eyes before he urged on.

"You do know that… right?" A sting of agony stabbed me in my chest. My heart skipped a beat and my emotions fluttered happily at the gentle voice and fingers. He could be so kind… after all.

"Yes." I whispered almost in a trance as he leaned in towards me. I knew he was going to kiss me and I didn't care one bit. I wanted this. I wanted him.

My eyes closed even before his lips met mine and I could've sworn that that simple action had made him gasp softly. The scent of soap and tobacco hit my nostrils before our lips connected and a soft mewl fell from my lips unwantedly. My tummy tickled and my heartbeat increased its pace rapidly as he prodded a gentle tongue against the rim of my closed lips. He tilted my head backwards even more as he hovered over me and eagerly I opened my mouth to gain the hot muscle access.

Sebastian hummed in approval as the kiss got deepened, I allowed him to lead and dominate me fully, enjoying the sensation of being 'taken' by this perfect man. Our tongues slid lazily around the other and various long seconds passed before the tall man pulled back away from me. He chuckled attractively as he looked away from me.

"So eager." He mumbled before releasing my chin and raising himself to look down on me. My eyes were still half lid as my mind was drugged and hazed because of the slow passionate kiss I had just received. As my blue orbs focused on his red ones, it was then that I finally 'awoke' with a deep blush and I quickly looked back away.

"You'll be free before you know it, kid. I promise that." A frown rested on my face as he walked back to his seat before lighting a cigarette as he sat down.

"Promise?" I asked absently, hoping that he was speaking the truth… On the other side already afraid of how I would cope with life without him.

"Yeah, just a couple more months and I'll be able to let you go." A sad smile fell on his lips before he hid it as he dragged on the cylinder. I nodded slowly.

"Okay." I spoke and wondered why I wasn't excited about it one bit.

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Meh, I don't like this chapter.  
Anyways, thanks for reading and please review!


	12. The Beckoning

Hey guys. This took a while, huh. My apologies. Actually I was two chaps ahead... but as they were very plotinvolved I found them to have appeared too early in the story... So I decided to write some chapters in between the ones I had already written beforehead. Does that make sense?  
Anyways... not much plotting in this one. Just some atmosphere, bonding, smut (yes, smut)

Uhm well, I'm having a week off right now, so I'll try my best to write lots so I can have weekly updates with this one as I used to.  
Again I apologize. I hope you guys like it!

And of course... thanks so much for the reviews! And for the favs/alerts and stuff... it makes me so happy, really. Just keep doing what you're doing and I promise to treat you guys with my stories (started a new one in the meanwhile. but I won't be posting it until I've finished this one on my laptop, so don't think about it too much, yet)

Well, that's that. Thanks for your patience, and please keep reviewing!

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 11**

**The Beckoning**

He had been acting suspiciously all day. The whistling of happy tunes and the large amounts of winks thrown towards me throughout the afternoon had set off my metaphorical danger radar. Sure, he acted rather odd and even flirtatious day in day out… But there was something different today.

It was late in the evening and we both were comfortable seated in the large black sofa. As always he sat in the right corner, myself in the left and one cushion empty in between us.

Sneakily I eyed him from the corner of my eye, he was puffing on his cigarette with a smirk he had been wearing all day. Curiosity had been gnawing away at me nearly painfully and I knew that he was aware of this. Such a tease.

"I admire your pride." He spoke around the cylinder as he 'casually' eyed the television when I turned my head towards him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not feeling like playing games as I had been annoyed with him all day. He shrugged and raised his eyebrows shortly, but his smirk reappeared as he absently stared at the images on the screen in front of us.

"I won't ask again." I muttered as I crossed my arms in a childlike manner.

"See?" A pause followed and I cursed myself as I had given him a perfect example of my sense of pride. Surely this wasn't a shameful thing to posses, after all. Right?

"I know you have been curious and annoyed all day… I admire that thick stubborn skull of yours for not asking an explanation." I tsk'd but was excited as he finally seemed to be unraveling what was going on.

Our 'bond' had grown tighter even more and if had counted correctly I had been with the man for nearly four months now. Honestly I did not see him anymore as my kidnapper and the murderer that he was. Not that often, that is. I had my weak moments where I would metaphorically pull out the hairs from my head and I would just want to escape and punish myself for having become so disgustingly comfortable in his presence… But why should I lie to myself, any longer? It was all obvious deep inside of me.

Next to an occasional kiss he would catch from me in surprise he hadn't made any advances anymore. A few flirty comments had been thrown my way, as a few saucy winks, attractive smirks and an occasional touching of my arm or back. All relatively innocent actions… But they spoke so loudly to me I was becoming to feel sexually attracted to this man.

Never in a million years would I have believed to long for someone like him. For someone who had done the things he had done to me… But I did and if it weren't for my pride and conscious, I would've given in a long time ago. Nevertheless, these contradicting believes, emotions and thoughts often made me suffer from headaches and a weak stomach.

Sebastian pressed out his cigarette into the ashtray before raising himself from the couch and disappearing in the kitchen, again whistling an annoyingly happy tune.

I took the occasion for stealing one of his cigarettes and lit it up almost happily. It hadn't gone by unnoticed how he had started buying Philip Morris cigs a while back. I had never mentioned this to him and neither had he to me, but I was certain it was because of one of our first 'real' conversations where I had told him I liked their taste.

As I inhaled the smoke into my lungs, I could hear the tall man walk inside the living room behind me and I stirred awkwardly when he leaned down behind me only to lower a small box in front of my face. It was colored a soft blue, a color I despised, and I arched my throat so the back of my head rested on the backrest of the sofa. Our eyes met and he smiled widely.

"I hate baby-blue." I muttered, as I observed his handsome face for any new emotions. His left eyebrow raised sarcastically and a chuckle fell from his throat.

"Get over it." He growled before lowering the box onto my lap and pulling back away only to seat himself on his spot once again.

My bony fingers brushed gingerly over the small cardboard and I awkwardly waited for permission to open it. Why I waited? I had no clue…

"Open it." He mumbled, an excited undertone in his smooth yet raspy voice. I puffed on the cigarette one last time before laying it down in the ashtray, I then leaned back and prodded the tips of my index fingers underneath the rim of the box.

Slowly I lifted the lid and looked at what was inside.

"What's this?" I whispered, as I took the tiny charm out of the box. A small dark blue cat rested on the palm of my pale hand. Its eyes were squinted shut in a friendly cat-like smile. On its head there was a red silken strap, its purpose to tie the charm to one's phone or keys. Even though the porcelain object was very small, still the details of hand painted golden accents didn't go by unnoticed. Its nose, rims of eyes, nails of its paws, tips of the ears and whiskers were neatly drawn with the royal color. Its right paw lifted as it held a golden amulet. My frown deepened as I saw the number thirteen on the amulet the lucky cat was holding.

"It's a maneki neko… A Beckoning Cat… I thought the color was beautiful… for you." He took a drag from the cigarette I had lit earlier and my eyes darted from his lips to the charm.

"The number… isn't it considered unlucky?" I mumbled, not quite understanding why this cat was holding the amulet with those two digits with such a genuine smile.

"I don't believe in such ridiculous dreams of perfection and happiness. With every good comes the bad and vice versa… Nevertheless I wish that all bad luck in your life will be turned around into a fortunate future… That's why I chose to have the number thirteen on its amulet. Because there exists no life without flaw." My eyebrow arched at his explanation as it sounded absolutely and perfectly sensible. I had never been someone who believed in a one true love… Let alone in a smooth road in life itself. Everything was rocky. And if it weren't for the bad times, one would never appreciate the good times.

"Heh… It's funny." I whispered, my thumb stroking the cat's ear as I stared at it distractedly.

"What is?" He asked, his ankles hooking after he had thrown his feet on the table. He leaned down comfortable, waiting for me to continue and I wondered if I should share what I had wanted to say.

"That day… of the bank robbery. My client number had been thirteen… After I had been taken hostage I couldn't help but wonder… if the number was indeed unlucky. I had left later than I had planned to anyways… I mean, I left my place, but forgot something at home, so I went back… Perhaps if I hadn't forgotten it in the first place I would've had number eight or something… I would've been in and out before 'they' arrived." A pause lingered after I had confessed such foolish thoughts and my eyes darted to the man beside me. He was resting the back of his head on the backrest of the sofa and as he stared at the ceiling he spoke.

"I'm sure that eight is an unlucky number somewhere for someone." The corners of his lips curled up into a soft smile and after I had processed his words I could only chuckle.

"Yeah I guess…" My blue eyes lowered back to the charm and I closed my fingers around it. I guess I was the cat… holding the unlucky number, turning it into something positive, right?

"Thanks." I mumbled and startled when Sebastian ruffled his large hand through my slate-grey hair.

"Hey, no problem, kid. Isn't every day it's your birthday." My eyebrow twitched at the comment and I turned to face him?

"Excuse me?" Sebastian looked at me shortly before staring back at the ceiling.

"It's your birthday." I honestly had been having no clue of date or time and I was very surprised to hear it was December already. But more so was I surprised of him being aware of my day of birth.

"H-how do you know?" I asked in suspicion and curiosity and tensed slightly when the man sat back upright, his crimson orbs meeting mine.

"You think criminals would keep a kid without having done some research?" His eyebrow perked in his own characteristic manner and he quickly tapped his knuckle against my chin. I pulled away and glared.

"You tell me this so matter-of-factly. What else do you know? This is an intrusion, you know." Sebastian puffed a sigh before waving his hand in between our faces.

"Please let it go and let's enjoy your birthday." My jaws clenched as I wondered what to do. On one hand I was angry at him, for never having told me this and for having done so in the first place… On the other hand I realized my anger was just a sad attempt to hold on to this criminal-victim situation and I actually didn't mind this at all.

"… So, what else have you planned out?" I asked with a rare smirk and leaned back comfortably into the sofa. I didn't miss how his eyes shortly flickered over my lean body as I had sprawled it out and a sense of pride soared through me.

"… Well…" He began and my eyes narrowed in suspicion as he started to shift in his seat.

"It depends…" The tall man started to move towards me, the sly smirk plastered on his handsome face promised only filthy things I wasn't all too sure about if I wanted them or not… Or more so if it was appropriate to want them from someone like him.

"I have some… cake in the fridge… and" I couldn't believe how sexily one person would be able to talk about food and I ignored the shiver that ran down my spine because of the smooth deep voice that licked my ears. He crawled closer and ended up backing me into the back of the sofa. I held my breath as he hovered over me. One leg stood on the ground, his other knee flanked my left thigh. Both of his forearms rested on the back of the furniture and our faces were mere inches apart.

"… I could give you so much more to feast upon… tonight… If only you'd allow me." He whispered and was so close that I could hear the clacking of his tongue and could feel his breath fan out over my tensed face.

"S-Sebastian…" I gulped as he moved closer, his eyes obviously lowering to my lips.

"D-don't kiss me… Please." I whimpered weakly, my mouth speaking words my body did not want to hear. But the man stopped and as he arched an eyebrow he asked me why.

"Because… It's wrong." I claimed weakly and held back a groan as one of his hands cradled the back of my neck. His skin was searing hot, as was mine. I was surprised how the atmosphere around us had gotten tipped over so easily and quickly.

"Why is it wrong?" He asked me gently and my breath hitched as he brushed the tips of his lips over mine. His hand on my neck, slowly lowered over my shoulder and I had to close my eyes to focus on not letting any sound of pleasure slip, as his hand dragged down my chest towards my tummy.

"B-because… I'm not supposed… to want you." I answered truthfully and sunk teeth into my bottom lip as his hand stroked over my tummy, lingering there for a moment, tips of fingers teasingly caressing the skin throughout the thin fabric of the shirt.

It took all my willpower to not arch my body into his touch. Something about this man made me melt the moment he'd look at me. It would be so easy to fall for him… Just a snapping of his fingers and I'd be down on my knees for him. This was a scary fact to realize… It was the first time I had ever felt this way about anyone before.

"Go on…" He mumbled against my lips, I could feel his eyes on my face but kept my lids closed.

"Because… you're my abuser… I'm not s-supposed… to want you. It doesn't make sense…" A chuckle fell from his lips and made my tummy feel as if I was on a rollercoaster. When his hand moved from belly to groin and he boldly palmed the bulge in my pants, I couldn't hold back a whining moan from slipping my lips. My legs spread wider automatically and my hips bucked into his touch needily.

"It makes a lot of sense to your body, though." He whispered attractively and I opened my eyes slightly. I stirred at the crimson hazed orbs staring into mine so intensely. As our eye contact remained he once again palmed me, and the fact of him seeing my reaction made it all the more pleasurable. I moaned in my throat and arched my neck.

"God… Ciel." He groaned underneath his breath as my eyes fluttered close while he started massaging my already growing need.

"Your body is so willing… It would drive any man insane." He whispered hoarsely and I flinched as his tongue darted to have a quick taste of my trembling lips.

For a moment I actually considered how possible it actually was for the man to have drugged me in some way… But I knew my brain was foggy only with arousal and excitement and the growing need in my core prevented me from being disgusted with myself to such a level that I'd push him away.

"My body… wouldn't act in such a way to _any _man." I mumbled truthfully, wondering why I had let such promiscuous words slip from my slightly panting lips. My hips rocked into his touch and I could hear the man hiss each time I'd let out a moan or arch my body.

"But to me…" He nipped on my bottom lip and I shivered violently.

"To you?" I asked groggily, not keeping track on the conversation any longer. My eyes cracked open slightly and our eyes met.

"To me your body is acting like a cheap whore… is it not?" I wanted to be insulted by those words. I wanted for my voice to shout at him, for my hands to push him away from me… But I couldn't… With all the willpower inside of me, I could not interrupt this deliciously filthy display of lust.

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Thanks so much for reading!  
Please review!

Next update; Thursday!

**Update; **Hey guess what... next chapter will include a new character... someone of Sebastian's past! Will it be an enemy? a friend?... a lover? STAY MODAFUKKIN TUNED! Also, better review, before I decide to chance the update date to NEXT MONTH! ... ah I could never be that evil... or could I ?


	13. The Past

Hey. Decided to upload this chap a bit earlier to apologize for the delay of the previous one.  
This chap is also a tad longer than the previous ones.

First of all. A big thank you to all who reviewed! I love you guys, even you complainers who threaten me because of the cliffies. Yes, even you guys.

Uhm I also want to apologize ahead for the odd grammar in the second part of this chapter. English is not my first language and I had a hard time describing the things I had. (If you're a native you will absolutely notice what parts I'm talking about) I know they sound off, so yeah.

Also... surprise suprise this chapter's second part will be written in someone's elses POV! I had no idea how to do it differently. Because of the many emotions and feelings I couldn't write them in Ciel's POV.

That's about it.  
Enjoy reading and PLEASE keep reviewing, okay? Thanks so much.

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**Chapter 12**

**The Past.**

"_To me your body is acting like a cheap whore… is it not?" I wanted to be insulted by those words. I wanted for my voice to shout at him, for my hands to push him away from me… But I couldn't… With all the willpower inside of me, I could not interrupt this deliciously filthy display of lust._

Before I could even come up with a reply I was not even willing to speak, the man's lips connected with mine. It felt as if we were getting seared and with a groan I opened my mouth for his tongue to enter. He immediately complied with a pleased hum and the palm on my bulge increased its pressure.

Another shudder rolled through my body and my arms greedily cradled the man's broad shoulders that hovered above me, my left hand still held the small figurine, the box had dropped to the floor a long time ago. My neck arched as my head bent backwards to deepen our kiss.

Sebastian shifted his position, his forearm comfortably resting on the back of the sofa to keep his balance as now both knees flanked my spread thighs.

The dominant position of the tall man leaning over me like that made me moan eagerly and in response he sloppily slipped his tongue around mine. The taste of tobacco was obvious but not at all a bother and the scent of musk and soap made my insides crawl in absolute heated agony.

He then pulled his lips away from mine, only to hover them teasingly over my throat and I drowsily mumbled his name.

"Babe… tell me to stop." I couldn't help but mewl at the nickname he had spoken with his hoarse voice.

"W-why?" The frown on my face disappeared immediately when another sloppy kiss was planted on my lips. The man's body was rocking softly and unknowingly into the air, subconsciously searching friction and I let my free hand glide over his toned arm.

"Because I wanna fuck you…" He answered boldly and my heart skipped a beat because of the raw words. My mind was hazed and somewhere in the back of it a voice was screaming and shouting for me to stop this right now. But it felt so good, it felt so right, it felt so wished for.

Our next kiss was deep and hurried as if we were both anticipating the moment I'd come to my senses and tell him to stop. His body pulled back as his lips stayed on top of mine and his hands feverously started to unbuckle the belt that hugged my narrow hips.

The way his tongue slid around, exploring every inch of the hot moist cavern that was my mouth, and the way he'd nip on my lips each time our heads would tilt another way made me shiver and pant like a needy virgin wanting desperately to be deflowered.

I yelped weakly as the man yanked down my pants. His hands were so large, long bony fingers dug into fabric with much ease. He didn't bother pulling it down past my thighs and instead he palmed the erect bulge that was trapped beneath the black fabric of my briefs.

Our lips disconnected and I couldn't help but look down at his fingers stroking my rock-hard need throughout the thin layer of clothing. Sebastian panted softly and his eyes flickered up to meet mine only shortly, before gazing back down to his own hand. His fingers hooked behind the rim of my underwear and I held my breath as he started to lift them up.

He leaned back into me, resting his face into my shoulder.

"Tell me to stop…" He whispered, hot breath fanning over my skin, while he hesitated in his movement. I couldn't believe why this man wouldn't just do his thing… I couldn't believe he wasn't taking full advantage of me at this moment. Why? Why was he so considerate? Why was he faltering?

"No." I huffed into the thick atmosphere and sunk my teeth in my bottom lip, awaiting anxiously for him to pull down the black briefs down. But before he could, a sound interrupted us.

The harsh knock on the front door made both of us jump and our eyes met shortly before Sebastian jumped off of me and walked silently towards the door. The smooth movement of his feet on the floor reminded me of a sneaking cat and I quickly pulled up my pants as my gaze followed him. I was shocked…

This was the second time in months there would be someone knocking at the door. It was very unlikely to have someone at the door. Other than that one time where Claude and Bard had broken in, there had never been any 'visitors'.

With surprise I watched the man pull out his gun from behind his belt on his back and I then suddenly wondered why I had never used this against him back in the days I had been desperate for escape and survival. But my pondering of my own stupidity soon came to a hold when Sebastian waved his hand at me after he had turned off the lights.

My heart rate increased and my arousal was gone as I suddenly realized that danger was very likely to occur. His rapid hand movement told me to get into the bedroom and without questioning I got up and silently ran into the other room. I left the door open slightly, only so I could peek outside to the man who stood beside the front door, gun in both hands.

Another knock fell on the door and I could see the handsome man's jaws clench shortly before he rested his back against the wall.

"Sebastian?" A male voice called and I could see the man's eyebrow raise in what seemed to be surprise. His crimson eyes met mine and he motioned for me to lock the door..

Even though I wanted to watch what would happen, I knew I had to listen to him closely as this person was probably a dangerous threat and so I closed the door, locked it and went into the connected bathroom, locking that door behind me as well. It all reminded me too much of that one time and I nervously nibbled on my bottom lip as I perked my ears for any sounds of information.

Many minutes passed and I felt like I'd collapse any moment. Why was it so silent? Why had I heard the door open, but not close? No gunshots, no voices… What was going on? Did the person kill Sebastian before he could even so much as scream or pull the trigger?

But then, after another long period of time, finally sounds met ears. I was too far away to hear what the voices were saying but I knew that the other person was inside and they were both conversing.

My heart raced as I expected a gunshot at any moment… but somehow nothing sounded that aggressive and my eyebrows arched in surprise as I could hear the rumbling laughter of Sebastian.

… A friend?

* * *

**Sebastian POV.**

My jaw dropped and eyes widened as I took in the sight of the man in front of me. A person I had believed to never see again. I slowly tucked the handgun back behind my belt on my back and ignored the trembling of my limbs.

He was almost as tall as me and with the long snow-white hair, tied back in a high ponytail one could not ignore this man's presence… Not to mention the large scar that ran over his right cheekbone and the bridge of his nose would quite catch some attention. His nearly golden, almond shaped eyes were still as smoldering as I remembered them to be, and those tad too long canines bared themselves in that characteristic and attractive smirk I so clearly recalled.

"Damn…" I whispered in disbelief. My heart paced in a chaotic rhythm and when his pale hand came to rest on my shoulder I shivered. His smirk disappeared and the corners of his mouth pulled down in agony of our past before he pulled me towards him. Our chests collided and I soon found myself embraced by strong and long arms.

He buried his nose in the crook of my neck and I could hear him gulp desperately to hold back tears.

"I thought you were dead, man." I whispered into his snow white hair. It still smelled the same as I remembered… Just like his skin, it was scented of rain and winter… An indescribable scent of freshness and heartiness and emotion.

My arms cradled his waist softly and we remained in our embrace for various minutes.

I couldn't believe he was back. After eight years. Eight agonizing years I had lived with the grief and sorrow of his death. But here he was… alive and kicking.

"I'm so sorry… Sebastian." He mumbled into my shoulder, his voice cracked and I could hear him take shuddering gasps of breath to bite back tears.

"I-I had to lie to you… For your safety." I nodded slowly as I recalled our last moments together. We had been partners in crime. We both had been hitmen, killers, robbers, frauditioners, and so much more… Very much more. We became friends, best friends… lovers. But I had screwed up.

Young and greedy as I had been, I had commit a fraud to my own boss at the time. I had been handling drugs under his command, but had messed with the numbers and aspects of money, only so I could 'steal' about ten percent of each cocaine deal we ever made.

In the end, the man who now held me had taken the blame. They were after me but he took all blame to himself. Why? To save my life… I knew that much already. I had cursed him. I had slapped him as he had told me he'd be going away… to receive his inevitable death far away enough so I had enough time to clean up the fraud I had commit. And I had believed him… There had been no doubt he'd be murdered, that he'd never escape. But here he was… He had survived after all. He had gotten away as had I.

"I had to stay away from you… I wanted so much… to tell you I was alive. I wanted so much to give you closure… But it was all too risky. I knew they'd find out. I knew you'd die together with me, if I ever showed my face again… If I'd ever contact you again… It took eight years for it to be safe… I counted the days to the date I never even knew would come." I tightened the grip around his waist and bit on my bottom lip as all the memories of us flashed before my eyes. My head felt cloudy and my knees wobbly.

"Undertaker…" I whispered his odd name… A false name he had adapted ever since childhood, when his criminal life had begun. His real name was long lost in an agonizing past he did not want to be remembered off.

The man pulled back slowly and threw a soft smile as we parted the embrace.

"What happened?" I asked. My mind was racing with hundreds of questions, and my body twitched and tensed with hundreds of actions it wanted to take. But instead of pulling him back against my chest, I reached out around him to close the door and lock it. I didn't miss him linger into my closeness and I pulled away quickly before he could fall back into my body.

I didn't think I could stand embracing him again without… without getting even more emotional than I already was.

We walked into the living room as his raspy voice started to ring into my ears pleasantly. I had always adored his odd voice.

"Snake died." I stirred at the mentioning of our old boss' name.

"The new boss isn't even from the family. Old cases got dropped and I'm free… Police never got word of the case, either. My only worry was Snake and his followers but as far as I know I haven't been in danger for the past three years and now I am certain of this." I nodded with a soft smile as I waved a hand to the sofa.

Undertaker was dressed in a beautiful white-grey suit. His long lean body lowered elegantly onto the black sofa and I loved the contrast of colors.

"Want something to drink?" I asked as I walked into the open kitchen. I opened the fridge and my eyes roamed over the bottles of alcohol inside. I ignored the trembling of my fingers as they caressed the necks of bottles while I waited for a reply. I was still stunned and amazed… He was alive, he was here. He was back into my life. He was back. With me.

"Yeah well, no whiskey please!" He called with a chuckle and as memories of drunken nights soared through my mind I couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh. Each time he'd drink the golden liquid, it ended with a comically aggressive version of the normally so calm male. The various times I had had to hold him back from fighting innocent by-passers was unbelievable… But it had been amusing times to say the least.

"Beer?" I called back and grabbed two bottles before he had even replied with a 'yeah'. I walked back into the living room and plumped down beside him. We clanked the opened beet bottles against each other before both taking a long tasty gulp.

"So where've you been hiding out?" I asked before lighting a cigarette. His golden eyes dragged from the stick to my eyes and he grinned cheekily.

"I see you haven't dropped the habit." He spoke cheerfully before answering my question as I shrugged in agreement.

"Everywhere and nowhere, you know… Been staying a while in Japan." My eyebrows raised.

"Japan?" He nodded, leaning back, resting one ankle on a knee. The expensive grey shoes caught my eye and I wondered why those long legs were such an attractive sight.

But as my eyes roamed further down to the foot that rested on the floor, I caught sight of the small blue box… Ciel. I stirred in my seat and Undertaker arched a brow at my sudden flinch.

"I-I'll be back in a minute." I spoke with a lump in my throat, quickly raising myself from the sofa and pacing towards the bedroom in a hurry.

I had all forgotten about Ciel. How in the world would this end up going? I had to make sure he stayed hidden. Undertaker might be out of criminality and the last thing I wanted was for him to get in trouble because of my own stupidity… I should've let the kid go a long time ago… But I couldn't… Not yet.

Softly I knocked on the door, it was still locked, but when no reply came, I whispered his name.

"Ciel… open up." I could only think of him being in the bathroom. As I looked back over my shoulder, guessing how loud I could get for Undertaker to not catch a sound, the door unlocked.

I blinked in surprise as Ciel opened the door slightly and peeked at me from behind the rim. His big blue eyes stared at me with fear and hope and I held back a smile that always rose to the surface whenever I witnessed his beauty.

"Ciel, listen, you need to stay inside until I come get you, okay?" The young man frowned and his lips pressed shut tightly, I knew he was holding back questions but I was grateful he was being obedient for now.

"Do you need anything? Food?" I asked. I was genuinely worried for the kid and already felt bad for having to lock him in the bedroom for a couple of hours. He shook his head slowly before taking a breath.

"Is he a friend?" He asked me, he must've caught the sounds of our conversation. I nodded truthfully, trying not to worry how to combine these two people in my life. I knew that eventually I'd have to chose… Not just in presence, as Ciel being my hostage and Undertaker as being my old lover… But more so in a battle of affection. I had grown attached to this kid, who meant more to me than he knew at this time. But Undertaker was that… 'first love' kind of man. He had been my everything and still was. There hadn't gone by one day in which I had not thought of him. I had given up on him though, because of his death. But now that I had gotten to know that he was actually alive… everything changed.

"Yeah… I haven't seen him in years… We need to catch up, just this night, he'll be out tomorrow. You need to stay here, okay? I hope you understand, kid." Ciel nodded, but I could see in those large eyes that he wasn't satisfied one bit. Why though? Was he scared that this friend could actually turn into an enemy… Or perhaps he was thinking of escaping, now an outsider was inside?

I often forgot that he was my hostage and up until a few seconds ago I had not been worried about the fact that Ciel could finally attempt to escape. Frankly, I had no idea of Undertaker's reaction to the young man… if he'd come to meet him and tell him what actually was going on.

"So he doesn't know of me?" He asked, my eyes lowered to his full lips, they were still bruised because of the earlier kissing and a shiver rolled down my spine as those images flashed before my eyes… I had almost fucked him… I had almost done the unthinkable with this kid. I could never do that to him… It would only hurt him. It would ruin everything if he ever came to know the truth… Heck, I should be disgusted of the thought, but I wasn't. I wanted him… But as well did I want to spend this night with my old lover.

"No, I'd like to keep it that way. Don't forget the gun behind my belt… I'd rather not shoot someone in the face with you in the blood splattering area." I gave my most mischievous and threatening smirk to scare him off and as his face paled I inaudibly sighed in relief.

"You'd shoot your own friend instead of me?" A silence filled the atmosphere… I had been bluffing after all. I couldn't shoot any one of them… Right? Then again, what had to be done, had to be done. Undertaker could not know of Ciel, and same went the other way around. If they'd happen to meet… I would have to take drastic actions.

"I'd shoot my own mother for you." A pause lingered between us as he his eyes locked onto mine in disbelief. I raised my eyebrows in a meaningful matter before smirking and turning around. I knew this would've set the kid off from any smart ideas and as I heard the door lock behind me I went back into the living room.

Often I would wonder if I was actually a psychopath, the words I had spoken only seconds ago to the boy had not even been a lie… Was I a monster? I'd like to believe I was actually an intelligent, rational, no bullshit kind of guy… Or was this denial? A state of unawareness. Unaware that I was the murderer, Ciel had called me before. That's what I did, right? Murder. Kill. Slaughter. The blood on my hands would never get washed away.

* * *

So did you enjoy? I hope the odd grammar of Seb's memories of the years in criminality with his friend, didn't bother you too much.

Yup, Undertaker... Man oh man, I've been wanting to pair that guy up with Sebastian for ages! For the ones who only saw the anime, I highly recommend to google pics of Undertaker in the manga. In my story he doesn't have bangs in his face and his face is actually revealed. He's so HANDSOME!

Anyways, thanks for reading and don't forget to review!  
Next update; Thursday


	14. The Collapsing

Hey you guys.  
Thanks a lot for the reviews. You fangirls amuse me. I love how you all squee and stuff and go berserk on the CielxSeb love. But let me tell you girls... I'm an evil evil writer and I love myself some drama. So be warned.

Hey, question, do you know Sakamichi no Apollon? Yes? I'm writing a short lemon fanfic and part 1 is uploaded on my tumblr, go check it out!  
No? ... shame on you.

Uhm what else. Oh I'm back to work and it's killing me. I'm SO busy. I'm working 40 hours a week, have a boyfriend that needs attention 2 days a week and I'm reading 2 books at the same time and am writing 5 stories... I'm over my head.

Weeping Willow will be updated soon enough, my cuties.  
Number THirteen will be uploaded each Thursday.  
The other stories? Don't worry, I'll be posting those when I've finished this fic.

Okay, go read, enjoy and for the love of god REVIEW! You lazy bums! You dissapoint me!  
Except you fangirls... oh my my

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**The Collapsing**

My eyes stared at the locked door without even so much as seeing it. My brain was racing around, desperately trying to process the cruel words Sebastian had spoken with so much ease. A big grin had been plastered on his face as he had shared with me that he'd take the life of his own mother for the sake of me.

A shiver ran down my spine. I couldn't believe I had almost given myself to this man.

My legs walked slowly towards the door and my right hand absently rested itself on the handle. I wanted to see… I wanted to spy. I wanted to catch 'his friend' when Sebastian was off guard. I wanted to plead and beg for him to save me.

It was possible… If I'd get in the hallway I could crawl into the kitchen that was connected to the living room. I could hide behind a counter and follow their conversation with much ease in the open space. I'd have enough time to dash back into the hallway if Sebastian happened to make way into the kitchen… But I could only imagine what would happen if that friend would walk in… I could escape… I could show myself… I could whisper for him to save me… Then he'd make sure it would happen, right? He'd stay calm and walk back to Sebastian, he'd find a way for my escape. Any person with a heart would.

My heart raced excitedly and I unlocked the door gingerly before walking into the dark hallway. My right hand still held the small Beckoning Cat figurine tightly. Their voices sounded cheerful and excited. They talked without pauses and the laughter of Sebastian made me cringe. How in the world could anyone make the man laugh like this? And so often? He sounded so happy… A sting of jealousy filled my chest and I wasn't too happy about feeling like this in the first place.

As I reached the door opening that led to the kitchen, I ducked carefully and walked into the dim room. I sat down behind the counter that separated kitchen from living room and peeked over the edge carefully. Luckily enough, the sofa's back was always turned to the room I now was in and I took in the sight of both men.

I frowned at how close they sat to one another. In contrary to our 'one seat in between' rule… They sat closely, shoulders touching with each movement. The friend of Sebastian had long snow-white hair and I wondered what his face looked like. This man could possibly be my savior.

"So you're completely out, hm?" Sebastian mumbled, as his head turned to look at his friend, I could see him take a drag from the cigarette between his lips, his eyes lingering a bit too long on his friend's face.

"Yeah. In the end… it wasn't worth the money, you know…" The white-haired male's voice was even more raspy than Sebastian's but nevertheless attractive.

"I had the opportunity to step out… Very few get that." He continued and I could see my kidnapper nod. I could only guess they were talking about the criminality business and my hopes dropped at this… No way this man would save me if he had been a criminal himself…

"Will you?" A pause followed and I stared at the backs of their heads intensely, holding my breath in anticipation of Sebastian's answer.

"I'm trying… But I'm too far in. I don't think I can ever get out." I frowned… He wanted to get out? He wanted to stop this lifestyle? He had never told me this. My childish jealousy only increased as I watched his friend spread his right arm to rest on the back of the sofa, and he smoothly scooted closer to Sebastian before wrapping the arm around his shoulders.

"It's never too late… I managed… I'll help you." The slightly shorter male whispered into the other's ear and my heart skipped a beat… They weren't just friends… I couldn't believe that… They were more.

"No. I don't need any help." Sebastian growled, pushing against the other's chest, only to give up as the man pulled him closer. I swallowed as unpleasant butterflies tickled my tummy. They were too close. Too close! Neither did I miss the attractive features of the pale man. A soft pink scar ran over his cheekbone, but this didn't decrease his beauty at all. In contrary it just enhanced the straight nose, narrow face, full lips and his beautiful cat-like eyes.

"Why not?" A pause lingered between the two and I stirred together with Sebastian as the white-head licked the shell of his ear.

"I don't want you to get hurt." The kidnapper mumbled before his friend grabbed his chin gently, turning his face to meet his'. I held my breath.

"Sebastian… I'd die for you." He whispered before closing the distance and planting his lips onto those who had been caressing mine only an hour ago.

I stared in disbelief as the two men started to kiss. It was a slow, almost loving kiss, Sebastian being the submissive part of it. A kind of kiss I had never shared with this man… And it hurt. It hurt to see him share something so intimate and soft with an other person. Why? Previously I had believed I was just intrigued by this man… I looked up to him in a sick way. I was grateful to him for having taken care of me and his good looks were the thing that made me want to share the bed with him… But this was more. Unless I was a possessive person, this was more than affection and lust… Love? I had fallen in love? My mind dryly commented with a 'yes' but I ignored it with a frown and squeezed the Cat figurine in my hand.

The white head pulled back away and he closed his eyes a couple of seconds as he took a deep breath.

"Gosh, Michaelis… You taste just the same as you did eight years ago." My cheeks blushed and I bit back the angry growl that welled up from deep inside of me. I felt so angry… All of the sudden I did not see that man as my possible savior, any longer. He was an intruder. He was going to ruin everything. Everything between Sebastian and me.

"Maybe a tad more aged, huh?" Sebastian joked and they both chuckled as their eye contact remained.

"Yeah… Like a delicious red wine." The other mumbled before he again started to kiss my kidnapper. My eyes squeezed shut for a moment as I wondered about what I should do. I could feel anger and hurt boil inside of me and I knew if I didn't walk away now, I would burst and everything would escalate… But fact was, I wanted to torture myself, I wanted to see them share such intimacy… I wanted to see what kind of bastard Sebastian was… I should've been knowing this ever since he ruined my life. I had to stop believing in his kindness… I had to stop believing in his affection to me… Filthy liar. Filthy, filthy deceiver!

A moan broke me out of my thoughts and my breathing hitched as I watched the intruder slowly shift over Sebastian, whom was slowly laying himself down on the sofa. Soon enough they both disappeared behind the backrest and all I could do was listen to the moans and rustling of clothing.

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I couldn't do a single thing. I wanted to shout, run over to them, run back to my room, cry, whine, hit something or someone.

Everything had been perfect before now… He ruined my perfect life.

It took a couple of minutes before I processed the words I had just thought. A perfect life? Had I honestly been feeling like that? It wasn't only the hurt because of the man I had come to… like, was now sharing the most intimate things with an other person than myself. It wasn't so much that I was jealous of him sharing memories and affection with someone other than me… But it was even more so an issue because everything was getting disrupted.

Before him, I had been living a pleasantly dull life. I did my thing in society, even with being quite the loner… I still accomplished to function in life and have a couple of friends I'd meet once in a while. Then 'it' happened… In the beginning I had been confused, hurt, scared and angry. But the more I had shared days and nights with Sebastian, the more I had become used to the new regime. It had progressed slowly over the various months but in the end I actually thought of this to be my normal life.

This man… No denying that I felt more for him than I had ever done to someone else. Even if he was the cause of everything that had happened… I had forgiven him, right? I had accepted him and my faith. I had made the best out of it without even realizing this at the time. This was my life… It was perfectly fine. It was all I had. He was all I had. I could never again cope without him.

And now… him…

I peeked over the counter once again and winced at the sight of a leg thrown over the back of the couch. The rhythmic sounds and movement of pale shoulders and a white haired head that peeked over the edge of the furniture didn't leave much to the imagination.

My heart sunk even more as I could hear Sebastian out a throaty moan before one of his large bony hands planted itself on the other man's back, the tips of his fingers slowly dug into his skin and the white-head hissed.

It hurt.

It hurt so fucking much.

I denied that tears wanted to escape from my eyes and instead I stumbled onto my feet and paced into the living room. This was it. I didn't care what would happen. The bastard had betrayed me. The intruder had ruined the refound peace and acceptation of my life. It had taken so long for me to feel normal again… To feel slightly happy again and now he had ruined everything.

The men's noises were too loud for them to even notice me in the room. I felt numb as I cornered the sofa and then saw the image… An image that would most certainly be recalled with agony in my near and distant future.

They were fucking. That's it. The soft kisses that could only be shared by lovers was not present anymore.

It was odd to see Sebastian in such a submissive position… I had always seen him as a strong, stern and intelligent man… But as I now watched him, cringing on the couch, eyes closed, mouth slightly agape and small pants falling from his lips as his friend fucked him senseless… he didn't look the same anymore.

Filthy.

The white-head possessively held one of his legs over his shoulder. His fingers digging deep into the flesh of Sebastian's thigh as he used it to pull him closer into his pelvis each time he thrust forward. They hadn't even bothered to get fully undressed. Sebastian only had his pants removed, it hung sloppily on the ankle of the foot that rested on the backrest. The other male was still fully dressed, his pants pulled down just beneath his bottom.

The corners of my mouth trembled and curled downwards and I didn't bother holding back the tears that now streamed down my face… Why was he doing this to me? Why would he betray my trust like this? Was it because I never had allowed him to have me? Was he not willing to wait for me? Was this a quick fix for his arousal or was there more?

I sobbed and barely noticed how both men stumbled onto their feet in absolute shock. My vision was blurry as I remained sobbing weakly and it took a few moments before I noticed that Sebastian had grabbed my shoulders and was now shaking me.

"Ciel! Ciel! Snap out of it, babe! I'm so sorry! It's okay! Ciel!" He shouted, his expression seemed worried but I didn't want to notice this. I wanted this hurt and anger in my stomach to grow. Roughly I shoved his hands off of me before pushing against his chest so he stumbled back. We stared at one another, my eyes now clearly meeting the crimson pair.

I reached out my closed hand to him and after some hesitation he reached out his palm to it. I calmly laid down the Beckoning Cat on his opened hand, the birthday present looked even more tiny on him.

"It doesn't work." I whispered with a harsh stare into his eyes… He couldn't even mutter a word… He was that much of a bastard that he would not even try or bother to say something. To apologize. Not that it would change anything.

Without saying another word I walked past them. Ignoring the white-head who had followed the whole scene, I ran into the hallway and soon enough I was back in my bedroom, locking the door behind me, planning on not opening it for the first five days or so.

As I plopped down on the bed I finally broke completely. I cried. I had never cried like that before. It felt as if my heart would pour out. Everything ached and I didn't even have enough air in my lungs to keep up with the screams of agony that tore out of my throat.

He had shattered me.

* * *

"Want anything to drink?"

"No." A pause lingered after I had answered him. My eyes stared at the television without taking in the images.

"… Food?"

"No." I took a drag from my cigarette and ignored the man as he sat down beside me. I noticed in the back of my mind how he had broken the 'one seat in between' rule and I then shifted to the side with a disgusted snarl on my face.

The silence that followed was awkward to say the least and a couple seconds later, Sebastian scooted back to his side on the furniture.

Everything had changed. Atmosphere to personality. Everything was ruined.

"So, enjoying your nights alone, again?" I didn't reply, finding it pathetic how he acted like a beaten dog.

"I won't be having a holiday for a couple of months… I'll be home at night, next Sunday though…" A slight frown plastered on my face. What the hell was his point? Why wouldn't he just leave me alone.

"God, Ciel…" He groaned and in the corner of my eye I saw him rub a hand over his face.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" He mumbled more to himself than to me. I hated how he was guilt tripping over something that was hurting me. Not him.

It had only been a couple of weeks ago when I had been confronted of him and the friend named Undertaker. After a night of crying my heart out and Sebastian banging on my door, I had fallen asleep only to be haunted with nightmares. The next day I had locked myself in the room and it had taken another day before I had showed myself.

I had ignored him completely. And in a way he had been understanding of this. He had left me alone even when we had been in the same room. It wasn't until the fifth day of silence that he had begun breaking it. The one way conversations reminded me almost of our first times together.

I could tell he was getting more and more frustrated with my numb state, stubbornness and one-worded answers.

"Is there anything more I can say than that I am sorry?" He had been apologizing dozens of times each day, but I had learned soon enough in my life that regrets always came too late.

"I regret it, you know… I actually regret it…" He lit a cigarette, the click of the Zippo sounded harsh in the silence.

"I don't regret being caught as much as I regret having done that in the first place… Even if you'd never had walked in on us… I'd still feel regret." It hurt to hear him talking about it with not much emotion… I didn't want to be rational and especially not for him to be rational. I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me… But I couldn't. Even ignoring him wasn't working… I wondered how much he actually was suffering…

"Ciel… I don't want to make up any excuses for what I have done. But I want to share with you what I was thinking and feeling back then and what I'm thinking and feeling right now… Could you bear that?" I didn't answer. I wanted desperately for him to tell me everything. I wanted desperately for him to tell me one single thing that could make everything better. That could make me… feel so fond of him once again. I felt weak, knowing that deep inside I wanted to give him a second chance. Was I stupid?

"Undertaker, I've known him ever since I got into the business, … I can tell you that this was around the time of adolescence." My ears perked at more information of his past… The man had been in criminal affairs ever since a teen?

"We were partners in crime… We've done hundred of jobs together, back in the day. It actually didn't take too long before we became best friends… But it did take about four years for us to become more than that." I cringed slightly. Jealous of the rich past the two had had.

"I think we've must been around twenty-two when we became… lovers. We were partners in our business and private life for another six years after that." A deep drag was taken from his cigarette and I decided to light one as well, the previous one had long been finished.

"Then, I screwed up. I was stealing from our own boss and they had found something out… And without me even knowing, Undertaker had taken the blame for it behind my back… Stealing from your own boss… it's a crime that won't go by unpunished. Death will be the most blissful part of hours of punishment if they get you." I gingerly observed the man from the corner of my eye. He leaned back in the sofa and stared into the distance, his eyes seemed a tad more dark as he relived his past.

"When Undertaker contacted me one last time… He told me what he had done and there wasn't even time to say goodbye properly as I just punched him in the face. He had brought light into the ten years of darkness. Murders, drug deals, fraud… He had been by my side, through thick and thin. Heh… I even remember the first time I killed someone… It felt sickening, I wanted to kill myself for doing such a thing… And even though this is a wrong life to live, Undertaker managed to pull me through it. As hypocritical as it is… He made me feel less of a murderer." Sebastian gulped shortly before he continued.

"I-I… When he stood like that… in front of me, telling me what he had done… I knew he'd die and he knew as well. I was not even prepared. There wasn't time for one last kiss, embrace,… or fuck. There was no time for us to speak words we had wanted to say but never dared… So I punched him in the face and I shouted at him. I cursed him, swearing at him that I refused to say goodbye and that he'd 'better come back'… He should've never done that. I didn't understand why he had given his life for that of mine. I wasn't worth as much as he was." My heart ached and I wasn't sure if it was because of the heartbreaking love story, Sebastian was sharing… Or because of the jealousy and hurt I felt for not being someone as special as Undertaker, in this man's life.

"He left… Without saying a word. The image of his face… has haunted me every day after that. He had looked so beaten, so sad, his eyes begged for me to embrace him, to say goodbye… But I couldn't… I couldn't part with the one I had come to love." Sebastian cleared his throat shortly but continued bravely right after.

"He left. And I was certain he'd be dead within the next few hours. After ten years everything I had hold on to was taken away from me. This was eight years ago…" Our eyes met shortly, probably for the first time in those two weeks and with a blush I lowered my face… I couldn't believe how selfish I had been… Sebastian had gone through so much more than me.

"I'm grateful that you've listened to me." He mumbled before getting up. I held back the urge to grab his wrist. I wanted to comfort him, even apologize. Somehow I knew that I shouldn't feel guilty, after all he had betrayed my trust and had disrupted my rhythm in this strange life I was living… He was the one who had kidnapped me… I was here for over half a year now… Why should I be the one in the wrong?

But that's how I felt. He was Sebastian. Just Sebastian. Not my kidnapper, abuser and assaulter.

Before the man disappeared into the hallway he turned around and I stirred.

"Ciel… One last thing I want you to know." A pause followed as if he doubted he should say the words he had planned to let slip.

"Even with the light that Undertaker brought into my life… It still left some shadows…. But, your light… It shines so bright it blinds me into believing there is not a single speck of darkness left in this world." With that he closed the door behind him and my heart paced rapidly as I listened to his soft footsteps disappear into the distance.

"Sebastian…"

* * *

Lol, I ignored all the 'don't make them fcuk requests

Do forgive me with lotsof reviews. Hate me? Review!


	15. INFO!

Hey, so, I kinda half-died for a while and completely abandoned this story.

So, first of all...** I apologize**.  
I am so effin sorry for not even having warned you guys about this.  
It all happened fast and unexpected and sadly enough I couldn't care less about everything at that time.

I had completely quit writing all together.

I'm sure that to you who also read _Weeping Willow_, have noticed I have been back to active for a couple of months now, with weekly updates.  
I'm back. Everything's okay and I'm very happy to tell you guys that I finished writing _Weeping Willow_!

**Thus! This gives me the oportunity to FINALLY continue with this story.**

I will first need to read it again, see what the hell was happening and what exactly my plot was again.

Expect the **next chapter update withing 2-3 weeks** and afterwards there will be _weekly updates._  
Hopefully this will be enough time for you guys to come and forgive me and re-read this story to get back into it.

Again,** I'm sorry** and I'm so grateful for all your fatefulness and patience.

**Thank you! And see you VERY soon!**


	16. The Build-up

FINALLY IT IS HERE!

Omfg, you guys are all so excited about this! That makes me so happy!

Thanks for all the support and patience! I hope you enjoy this chappie.  
I swear I changed my mind at least ten times about this chapter and I just wrote and went with it. I think I got it figured out now, yup, definitely have.

I hope it is smooth, because there's been like half a year break in between this chapter and the previous one, I reread the whole thing so I hope it's not noticable that I had a hard time falling back into the story and persona's

Anyhow

ENJOY!  
**PLEASE review!**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**The Build-up**

And I forgave him. That's what happened.

I just decided that -to hell with it- life was too short. I accepted the indecency of my love for the man. Yes, no more denial of having grown attached to a man who had initially robbed me from my life and had kept me hostage for months.

I forgave him for what happened with Undertaker. It had been a relapse, eight years long of uncertainty and heartache had gotten bundled up and then sprawled across of them both.

I forgave him that he had been out for nearly a week now. Sebastian would stumble inside every now and then, mostly stay for half an hour somewhere in the early morning, and he'd look exhausted.

"It's important. I'm sorry I'm not here for you." He cooed into the shell of my ear as I stubbornly hugged the blanket more tightly around my frame.

"I don't like this." I hissed, Sebastian paused and sighed softly, nuzzling his nose against my hair.

"It's… Look, Ciel." He sat down on the side of the bed and gently tugged at my shoulder. I rolled over and looked at his dark frame hidden in the shadows that night brought.

"You'll be free soon." My heart skipped a beat and I sat up, leaning back on my elbows. Sebastian turned on the bed-side lamp and his crimson eyes carefully read my face after we both had adjusted our sight to the dim light.

"H-how soon?" The atmosphere wasn't bright. As we discussed my freedom, everything seemed even more grim and this was another blow to my conscience. Another confirmation of my feelings towards the man, albeit indecent or not. Stockholm Syndrom or love, it didn't matter anymore. All I knew was that I wanted to be with him, wanted to grasp him, wanted to have him.

"Depends, I'm about halfway through so I'd say another week, at the most."

"At the most…" I whispered, heartbeat fluttering at the thought of going back to my life. My eyes shifted over his frame. His black suit sat a bit messily on his tall frame and he seemed to have lost some weight… Dark bags underneath tired looking eyes and his skin was more pale than normal.

"Are you okay, though?" He quirked an eyebrow at my question which probably had come unexpected -what with the still frail rebuild of our previous relationship with one another before Undertaker had come along-.

"Yeah, yeah." He smiled slightly, but genuinely.

"You don't seem excited." He continued after a beat of silence and eye-contact, and I nodded, no longer willing to be stubborn or deny any emotion I felt towards him.

"Yeah, I'm not."

"Why, Ciel?" I shrugged, sitting up against the headboard and folding hands into my lap which was covered with the comforter.

"I don't remember life before you." Sebastian shifted at my words.

"Surely you do, Ciel." He whispered with a frown and I grimaced when glancing up at him.

"I always thought I had it all-together, you know. Always felt so different than the mass, an outsider and proud of it. But… I was just one of the mass. Mediocre job, apartment and life. A handful of friends I don't particularly feel fond of and a family I rarely see." My hands folded into fists at the memories of the dull life I had lived. At the time I had had no clue of the actual lack of 'living' been done.

"I was anti-social and I always thought it never bothered me… But it did." Our eyes met and I frowned at my own discoveries.

"I was so fucking lonely, Sebastian." It had never struck me up until this point when reviewing my past that I had indeed been a proud, stubborn, anti-social kid with the worst case of loneliness and a stick up the ass. A perfectionist, beating myself up over mistakes and flaws, yet never thriving to grow simply because I was afraid I'd never manage and I'd let myself down. A mediocre life with an anti-progressive mindset.

"I don't want to go back to that." Sebastian scowled at my words and his jaws clenched.

"What are you saying?" I gnawed on my bottom lip, as I myself was also surprised by the claim. But it made sense now, this wasn't a case of kidnapper-hostage anymore. I was sure even Sebastian couldn't deny the fact we'd been literally living together for months, flirting, talking, eating together, laughing together. Just like a couple. Like partners.

"That you want to stay? With me? A murderer? Without your freedom? In a life of criminality?" His voice rose almost amusingly high, but the matter was too serious for me to laugh about it. I fidgeted nervously as he had made my unspoken request sound that much more horrible.

"You know I can't do that, kid. I-"

"So you're just going to dump me back into my old life? Just like that?" Our eyes connected and I could feel electricity spark in between us. Anger illuminating.

"You expect me to pick up life after all that happened to me?" I snorted at the thought.

"Look, Ciel, I don't feel like fighting right now, I have to leave again." He avoided the inevitable conversation.

Our relationship might not be perfect -far from it- but I hadn't felt more alive in my whole life than I had when with him. Surely I had been traumatized, scarred maybe, hurt most certainly. But it beat the dullness any day.

And yes, the thought of staying with him instead of going home had played in my mind for a long time. In the beginning it had been scary but that had been before I had fallen for him, before I had realized how he made me feel. Before I had come clean with myself, accepting the taboo of falling in love with an abuser.

"Sebastian." I muttered almost angrily as I grabbed his wrist when he was about to rise from the bed. I pulled him back down and he frowned at me.

"What?"

"Stay with me, longer." We both knew I was not only requesting this for tonight.

"I need to go, Ciel." My hand tightened its grip around his wrist.

"Stay." He looked down at me, his breathing hitched slightly.

"Please." My voice trembled as it urged him, begged him to stay.

But as unreadable as the man was, as determined he seemed to be set on goals and thus he rose from the bed, gently pulling his wrist from my hand.

"I can't." He said softly, nodding a goodbye and turning around. I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip and held back the anger that wanted to well out of me. A searing white bolt of agitation and fury. A light that sparked and pressed against my chest so hard that I was afraid I would just explode any minute.

That was, until he left the house. The determined 'click' of the front door closing, was what set me off to a loud, throaty rasp of a scream.

* * *

Another five days passed by, along with those my happiness seemed to seep out of me. Sebastian would mostly visit for half an hour every other day, looking more grim every time he stepped foot inside.

But even with the awkward 'fight' we had had that night about how I wanted him to stay with me, I still greeted him with a smile -albeit a sad excuse for one-.

This time though, Sebastian smiled back at me, a tired but genuine display of affection as he closed the door behind him. He put his suitcase down in the hallway and walked further inside, eyes locked onto mine as I watched him from the sofa.

"Hi." I whispered, sensing a change in the air around us. A spark when Sebastian walked towards me, tugging on his tie and groaning as he popped his neck.

"Hey, baby." He whispered back at me, leaning over me as he stood in front of the sofa I sat on, his hands reaching out.

My eyes glanced towards his long fingers and I ignored the slight sick feeling in my guts when noticing some dots and flakes of blood on his skin. I didn't want to think of what he had been doing all night and day.

"Stayed up for me?" His words almost got lost because I got distracted when he cradled my face, smiling and leaning close towards me.

"Couldn't sleep." I answered truthfully, recalling how I had given up on falling asleep at five in the morning and decided to just hang out in the living room -secretly hoping for Sebastian's return-.

The tall man only hummed and leaned in, planting soft lips against mine. My eyes fluttered close and I sighed into the kiss as his thumbs rubbed my cheekbones.

This was definitely a change of tactic, if there had been any to begin with, but I wouldn't complain. Instead I just hummed into the kiss, opening my lips and allowing the man access to explore every nook and nudge of my mouth, which he did.

The kiss was searing. A passionate and slow dance of slick tongue and soft lips and the butterflies in my stomach hatched, fluttering around feverishly.

He pushed me back against the sofa, gently, and crawled on. His knees flanked my thighs as his right hand grabbed a fistful of my slate-grey hair. With all the will in the world I could've never resisted the gasp from escaping when he tugged my head backwards, aiming to devour my throat.

"I want you." He rumbled, the vibration in his voice so thick that I nearly missed the syllables. I replied with resting a hand on his shoulder, carefully rubbing his skin through the crisp shirt, as my other hand chose to rest itself on his head.

I played carefully with his tad-too-long black hair, twirling strands around my fingers, because I was afraid that any greater action would wake him from this loving haze. More so did I hope that this was not a haze nor an impulse, but rather a genuine need and conscious decision to have me.

His teeth sunk into my throat almost carefully and a gentle nibble followed before he lapped at the flesh.

"Oh." My voice was hoarse and I grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling him closer while wrapping my other arm around his shoulders.

"I think we should go to bed." He whispered into my ear, making me shiver shamelessly because of the sinful promise.

He leaned back and I opened my eyes to meet his'. Whatever had happened that had made the man this greedy to share the bed with me, I had no idea, but I wouldn't complain and could only hope that something had changed his mind.

I could only hope that he had decided that yes, it would be beneficial to keep me with him, even if only for the sake of love. Because I was certain he felt more for me than a 'friend', especially more than a kidnapper ought to feel.

The little things gave him away. I wasn't stupid. The way he looked at me whenever I thought he wasn't looking. The smiles he threw me on such occasion where other people would find no reason to smile -such as spotting me in the kitchen at mornings with messy hair, sleepy eyes and sipping from a cup of coffee in my pyjamas-, or the soft stroke or pat here and there whenever opportunity struck him to touch me.

I wasn't blind. I was pretty sure the man had fallen for me at least half as hard as I had for him, but I also knew that the job he did and the things he'd been through didn't make it easy for him to come clean with himself, let alone with 'us'.

Luckily enough I was patient, and have had been demanded to practice patience with nowhere to go and only my mind to accompany me whenever he was gone. It had been bound to happen. Falling in love with the only person you've been with in months. The person who cooked for you, granted you a bed and a steamy cup of coffee in the morning… I couldn't have denied my feelings if he had been a scrupulous psychopath. With the lack of direct abuse, I had found no reason to not start loving him.

"Yeah, okay." I nodded, enjoying the wrinkles around his eyes as his smile only widened.

So he got up, pulling me with him and the following hour we enjoyed each other to the fullest. Our bodies moved together as if we'd been doing this for years to no end. I had never known such pleasure and it was needless to say that, when he was rocking inside of me with a firm yet gentle pace, our eyes locked and breaths mingling as we panted, I fell in love with him harder than I had every fallen in love before.

I knew I was done for. I knew that if he'd decide to part that I'd never get over the grief. But I couldn't deny my heart this utter bliss. I wouldn't even if I was aware of a negative outcome, because this moment was all I had ever lived for.

That moment when we were connected in the most intimate way human beings could connect to one another, that moment when our eyes drowned into the other's, when my desperate mewls got lost into his soft pants, that was everything I had ever wanted and it would be everything I'd ever need.

* * *

The morning after, as I woke alone in the house, I knew that something had changed in between us.

… 'Everything' had changed last night. Our understanding of one another, our emotions, feelings, even knowledge had been adapted to the love-making that had occurred.

He now metaphorically had a grasp on my heart and it was his' to squeeze and maker it splatter, or to caress and cherish it next to his own. A scary thought but I couldn't imagine any other way for things to have evolved and developed.

As I was cleaning a bit, I thought back of last night and a memory struck so hard that I dropped the vase I had been holding, it clattered onto the floor, breaking apart.

'_I__'__ll stay.__'_The words rung and banged into my ears with great determination to freeze me into place and I stared in front of me, seeing nothing.

And then came the rest of the conversation…

'_What?__'_

'_I__'__m staying with you, Ciel__…'_

'_How do you mean? How long?__'_

'_For as long as you are willing to stay alongside me. I__'__m working on your case, deleting every track that would lead towards you. The next step will be for myself to step out of the criminal lifestyle.__'_

'… _I__…__ Are you__…'_

'_It won__'__t be easy, but it__'__s doable. Soon enough we can both start with a clean slate. Build up a life together.__'_

'… _Sebastian.__'_

'_Would you like that?__'_

'_Yes, of course.__'_

'_Okay, doll, just be patient for a little while longer, okay?__'_

'_Yeah, okay.__'_

'_It__'__ll be a lot of work, but you have to trust me I__'__ll get us out of this mess. That I__'__ll come and save you when time__'__s right.__'_

'_Will you leave again?__'_

'_I have to, baby. But you have to trust me I__'__ll come get you, okay?__'_

'_But how long will you be gone?__'_

'_Ciel, trust me.__'_

'_But what about food and stuff?__'_

'_Ciel.__'_

'…'

'_Trust me.__'_

'_But-__'_

'_Okay?__'_

'_Yes.__'_

'_Say that you trust me.__'_

'_Okay__…__ I trust you.__'_

'… _I won__'__t let you down.__'_

My knees wobbled and I softly sunk to the floor, ignoring the puddle of water from the broken vase, and rested my heavy head into my hands.

I had absolutely forgotten the conversation when having gotten up, but now it replayed very clearly in my mind.

Sebastian had told me he'd feared to run away from his lifestyle, especially because of not only his own safety but even more so because of mine. But he had also shared that he -indeed as I had expected- had fallen for me and had grown to love me. He had said that he couldn't imagine the guilt and regret he'd feel if he'd let me go and part from me without even having tried to solve matters.

We had talked for another hour after that before I had fallen asleep on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat and the warmth of his skin having soothed me to a deep slumber, alongside the gentle strokes of his fingers through my hair.

I just hoped that my brain remembered the whole parting-side of the conversation a bit more dramatically than it had been. He had sounded like he'd leave me for weeks on my own but had begged for me to trust him to return when time was right.

And it wasn't that I didn't trust him to solve matters and come back for me… But I was so fucking afraid that something would happen to him. After all, he was only human and humans made mistakes.

With a sigh I shook away the thoughts and started to pick up the porcelain shards in front of my knees on the floor. Some of them had gotten underneath the hallway cabin, so I had to duck and reach underneath the furniture.

I frowned when feeling something different than floor or porcelain. A soft, cold material.

"Paper?" I mumbled to myself with a frown as I pulled the thick folder from underneath the cabin.

It must've been a file from Sebastian, I knew he packed his suitcase with papers and weapons, but never got it in me to nose through his stuff. That was such a disrespectful thing to do. Obviously I had not known of this furniture to be his -always locked- business cabin, until I had grown attached to him and by then I couldn't bear the thought of disrespecting his privacy like that.

But now -as I looked down on the file which perhaps had gotten lost in a messy stumble of putting objects into his suitcase in a hurry, sprawling papers underneath the furniture- I made up the excuse of mutual love interest giving me the right to look into the papers.

After all, what could be so important in a file that was not locked up securely in one of the drawers? I'm sure Sebastian would take notice of his most important papers to be hidden from my eye.

Besides, I knew what he did as a job, well mostly… So there was nothing to hide from me, right?

I put the shards of porcelain next to me on the floor and slowly flipped open the folder. My frown appeared almost immediately when seeing only a confusing but neat schema of digits, strange words with a lack of vowels and columns.

I couldn't make out any of the meanings to the scattered words and -what I was pretty sure to be- code-language. But I still decided to flip further.

Page after page of numbers and words. Page after page of randomly underlined or italic codes.

My eyebrows cocked when seeing a schema with names. It seemed to be a family-branch.

Soon enough, the lower I went, I started recognizing names of my own family -albeit the lack of contact with them made sure of me to not know many of the members- and I wondered why Sebastian had needed this in the first place?

Perhaps for ransom, back then. I didn't want to blame him on that, those days were over, it was perfectly normal that he had kept a hold of my family-branch. But then my stomach dropped and my ears started to buzz when seeing his name.

_Sebastian Michaelis_

I remembered when Undertaker had whispered that last name to Sebastian, what were the odds of another Sebastian Michaelis being present in my family? My heart thumped loudly as the meaning of everything started to sink. Claude's words rung in my ears.

_D-does he know? Does the brat know?_

_Sebastian__…__ Does the kid know that you__'__re his-_

The shot had interrupted Claude's speech when Sebastian had cold-bloodedly killed him as I had clung against latter male.

And before when Sebastian had told me more of him having to had to play the part of 'psychopath' just to get me out of there and from his colleagues.

_I only wanted to save you_

_Ciel__…__ It was an accident that you had fallen hostage__…_

I remembered how it hadn't made any sense back then. Why he would go through so much effort to save me, how he told me he'd let me go when he had the opportunity, rather than just kill me and get it over with.

It all made sense now.

My eyes glanced at my mother's name to her husband's name, and then towards my father's ex-wife's name.

_Alexandra Michaelis._

Her son.

_Sebastian Michaelis._

His father.

_Vincent Phantomhive._

With trembling hands I laid down the paper and stared in front of me, trying to grasp the meaning of manipulative use of last-names and long lost family members.

_Sebastian._

Sebastian was my half-brother!

* * *

**_*mic drop*_**

**_PLEASE REVIEW! Thank you for reading!_**


	17. The Rescue

Wow you guys, you left so many awesome reviews! Thanks a lot!

Here's the next chappie, I hope you enjoy.  
Please review and let me know what you guys think!

Enjoy

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**The Rescue**

I never managed to confront Sebastian about the papers I found and about him being my half-brother, my blood, my family. Because not even a minute after having slid the papers back underneath the small cabin a knock had fell on the door.

My body had stirred, sudden eerie nostalgia creeping over me as I remembered the Claude and Bard incident, even though Claude had been killed (not that I was 100% sure of that), there still was Bard and even Undertaker.

But then a male voice called out Sebastian's last name with a polite 'Mr.' before it and then afterwards my heart sunk into my stomach with the words that informed me my life _here_ would be taken away.

"Mr. Michaelis, this is the police, if you don't open this door we will have to force it open."

I had risen from my position on the floor and simply had opened the door.

Sure, it could've have been 'bad guys', it could've been a trap. But I had done it, following my gut instinct and indeed when I opened the door, my eyes met the barrel of a massive handgun.

My eyes had glanced over the gun, not even hiding that it had taken my breath away and I could see a couple of what seemed to be F.B.I. members. Their clothes all black, bulletproof vest, heavy Doc Martens boots, ski-masks and an endless amount of equipment stuck to the belts around their hips.

There had been at least seven rifles and shotguns pointed at me, but I couldn't care less.

I had thought and believed so badly that I had actually 'enjoyed' being with Sebastian, robbed from my freedom, because I had indeed been madly in love with the abuser… But when I stood here, in arm's grasp of safety, I just gave up on believing my lies and sank to the floor.

The man who had held out the shotgun to me, seemed to be a detective of some sort. He didn't wear the S.W.A.T. -like outfit (yet did have a bulletproof vest). Either way he had barely managed to keep me from sinking to the floor, catching me mid-air.

After that everything's a blur. I got carried outside, shoved -determinedly albeit gently- into an ambulance and distantly took in the whines of police sirens and the deafening mutters of countless people around me.

I think I lost consciousness when the ambulance doors closed after me, knowing everything would be taken care off.

* * *

Three years later I had it all.

When having returned home after being rescued, it was needless to say I got confronted with how much different of a person I had become. Sebastian had changed me, scarred me so bad that I could never heal back to who I had been.

The first thing I had done was having counseled some therapy because I knew I could never manage to deal with the trauma on my own and come out a better man. My denial and false believes of 'love' had seemed to have been left at Sebastian's place, together with my innocence.

To this day I still saw my therapist, although only once a month instead of three times a week as it had been in the beginning.

After the trauma had been some-what in control, I had started to take studies, following my heart into a long-lost childhood memory of love for photography. And I seemed to be blessed with a talent and uniqueness that had enabled me to earn my money just by practicing my artistic hobby, only one year after studying and going to interviews.

Thanks the my job I had met Lizzie. It was love at first sight,... _I guess_, even though I did no longer believe in indulging on such emotions. Therapy put aside, I would never be able to trust or love anyone anymore.

But she came close. Lizzie was my best friend and since she seemed to be head over heels on me, we got married only half a year after we first met.

Sebastian was missing, not a single track to be found of my kidnapper and when I confronted my mother about a half-brother she told me she had heard about him but had never met him.

Apparently Sebastian had been somewhat a black sheep to the family. A cancer no one wanted to mention.

The interviews with the police, almost right after I had gotten rescued, had been the worst of everything. Well, that was besides the fact I could no longer sleep without waking up petrified and sweaty, having Lizzie hush me back to sleep telling me it had just been another nightmare.

I lied every time and never knew it was that easy to lie to the police. It seemed to go easier because at the time I had been in some strict therapy which seemed to be a code-word for innocence and confusion.

I never told them a name, saying that 'yes' I had indeed spent months with a nameless man and 'no' this man had not physically abused me and 'okay' my emotions for him were still unnatural and 'sure' I probably was suffering horribly bad from the Stockholm Syndrome.

The interviews stopped after a year, the case got put aside, they lost everything and weren't able to solve it. I didn't know why I chose to protect Sebastian and honestly to this day I still was not ready to face my inner demons.

Somewhere in the first two months I had heard that when the police had searched through Sebastian's house, there hadn't been a single thing they had found of interest to their case and I wondered how that was possible, thinking back of the papers I had found. But those papers had only mentioned a Michaelis Sebastian in the family-tree and next to this man there were another handful of family members just having simply disappeared ages ago.

It really made my brain work overtime on what the hell kind of family I had.

So that's that. Sebastian was gone, the case had been cancelled. And I had a job, a house and was married to a girl who would move heaven and earth for my happiness… And I was happy.

It was just that a dull ache bothered me daily. A faint hurt of what I had gone through and of countless unanswered questions. But I was 'alive', I felt more alive than I had ever done before what had happened and to some degree -conscience in place or not- I was grateful for the Sebastian incident.

I hated the sins, but couldn't seem to hate the sinner.

* * *

Another four years went by and at the age of twenty-six I had built on my future. My job of photography was now a side-project and instead I had optioned to work full-time for the government. My job mainly consisted of hacking computers, draining information and passing it through to investigators. I ignored the little voice in my head, which nagged that I chose this profession just to track Sebastian, on a daily basis. Surely, after seven years the man was no longer of any interest to me...

After all, I was a completely different person, no longer a boy but a man with a wife and two-year old daughter he absolutely adored. So, it was only logical that when I returned home, after a long day and most of the evening of work, and it so happened to be Lizzie and mine's fifth anniversary, I brought along a surprise.

The smile on her face, as she opened the envelope and revealed tickets for a seven-day holiday across the ocean, made me pleased to have made her happy. But I never felt the heart-filling warmth for my wife as I did for my daughter. Lizzie was still my best friend, a beautiful and lovely woman, but I don't think I'd ever fall in love (again).

But life was not at all like the movies. It wasn't about following your heart, finding 'the one', have seven kids, work a job that never tires you and have family dinners without a single fight. It was all about rolling with the punches, making the best of everything and bare-knuckling any negativity on your path.

It was about following your mind, rationally making decisions which would benefit you mentally as well as financially. And that's what I had done. I worked at least sixty hours a week and spent all my free time with my family, making sure to never neglect them like my parents had done.

So life was going good, to some degree. Even with the brutal routine, I still felt alive, living only for my daughter and wife and job. But I was living, able to shut up the nagging in my brain and the dull ache of what had happened seven years ago.

* * *

On the third day of our vacation in beautiful Italy, I started getting anxious because of the lack of work. So as Lizzie had long crawled into the luxurious hotel bed for a night of sleep, I stayed in the small living room of the suite, working via my laptop.

Alexandra, our daughter, was safe and sound back in the States with Lizzie's mother but I couldn't help missing her cheerful laughter and adorable quirky sounds.

Working soon turned into researching some of the suspects still needing to be found and arrested and I decided that since I was in Italy I'd look up criminality in the country I was currently staying at.

My job did not at all contain confronting the possible refugees, but call it an act of randomness and a slice of boredom that made me research some of our suspects in Italy.

I'll never forget what time it was when Sebastian's name popped up in my hacking spree. I don't even know why I had glanced at the time in the first place, but the number thirteen stared back at me mockingly. Thirteen past midnight.

00.13

And I don't even know if it had happened by accident, finding out that Sebastian was hiding out in Italy at the moment. Perhaps I had had a gut feeling, perhaps again it had been coincidence. Perhaps it was just fate mocking my frail believes of coincidence itself that had decided to have me find the man's location on the thirteenth of the month at thirteen past zero hours…

But it all didn't matter, because before I knew it I had closed the laptop, grabbed my coat and was out of the hotel, the directions to where he was staying so clear in my mind that it would take one hell of a beating to make me forget.

* * *

The rain was heavy and I barely noticed I had been dragging on a soaked unlit cigarette for the whole walk to the inconspicuous, small pub on the side of town.

The whole walk my brain had been tuned out. Only images of Sebastian flashed before my eyes.

Memories seeped back in. Memories of events and emotions I had tucked away so bravely for the past seven years and I hated it.

I fucking despised the man for enabling me to metaphorically sag through my knees. The weight on my shoulders got heavier with every step I took towards the location he was hiding out at.

My mind began re-evaluating what it had been, the thing I had shared with Sebastian. I had been young, easy to manipulate, not at all a man but still a boy who thought bigger off himself than he actually was. And even though the man was my half-brother, he had not even bothered sharing such information with me. A sick turn of events had caused ME to be the one having been kidnapped by HIS men and sure he had saved me from his men… But, this didn't explain why he had kept me hostage for months. This didn't explain why he had lied to me, had made me happy and had made me fall in love with him… Why he had fucked me. It all made less sense the more I thought of it.

His excuse had somewhat been about granting me a safe escape, but I was sure that with safe escape he had meant for himself to find a way out before returning me to the 'real world'.

It had all been a selfish act. A real brother, a real lover, would've never traumatized the ones they loved and with the many years of age he got on me, he surely should've been intelligent enough to have known that.

He should've known what the outcome would've been. He should've known there was no way to run with me and even if there had been a way to escape together with me… Well, he should've known that would not have been the life I deserved. No good could've come from that.

As my feet stomped onto the moist ground up the hill where I could see the small pub on top of it, boots splattered with mud, rain deafening around me, my anger only grew.

Dark hair clung to my forehead, soaked as much as my clothes and the scent of petrichor was a stench to my senses as normally I'd adore the smell.

My desperation rose, my agitation only deepened and when I looked up, peering through the heavy downpour of rain falling from the black sky I saw a tall figure wait for me near the top of the hill, far away from the pub which looked dead without any light brightening the dark building, yet even farther away from myself.

I increased the pace, a growl humming in my throat, not doubting that the dark-clad figure was the person who had ruined my mind.

My hate for him fired because he enabled me to feel anger in the first place. Sure I had felt alive those seven years after him, I was happy… Happy for my wife, for my child but was I happy in general? Was I pleased with myself? My life was perfect.

But, what about me?

What had happened to my core?

I stumbled up the muddy and slippery hill and could feel his eyes burn on my still shorter figure as I came closer and closer to facing my half-brother.

For the first time in years I dared to picture his smile again. Even more so what that smile did to me back then and to this day my stomach still fluttered at the memory. Albeit I brushed off the fluttering sensation as a tick nerveux because of the gun tucked neatly between my back and the belt of my pants.

* * *

Unf, I kinda like this chapter... perhaps because I wrote and re-read it while listening to Time by Hans Zimmer.

REVIEW PLEASE! And thanks for reading!


	18. The Healing

Wow, you guys, your reviews are driving me insane, okay.  
Thank you so effin' much for everything... I've come to absolutely love every single one of you reading this.  
Thanks! You'll never know how much every little message means to me, honestly, it melts my heart.

This is the last chapter. There is also an epilogue which I will upload today as well.  
It so happened I'm finishing two of my big stories today... wow... I feel like parting from my babies.  
I'm sad, but pleased as well.

I also want to thank those lovely inbox messagers. I read everything, even if I don't reply, I appreciate everything okay.  
Honestly... wow.

Okay, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**~The Healing~**

We stood like that, underneath the downpour of lukewarm rain, for what seemed ages. Our eyes locked as we relived out past seven years ago, together. My right arm stretched as I held out the gun towards his face, but he didn't bother looking at the barrel, he didn't even flinch, his eyes just melted into mine.

The first word spoken that night came from myself and I asked him 'why'.

Sebastian's lips were pressed shut neatly, jaws clenched, but something soft lingered in his crimson orbs.

"Why did you never tell me who you were?" I asked, my voice barely overpowering the sound of wind and rain, but nonetheless he caught them, his eyes squinting a bit. He shrugged, the nerve of it agitated me.

"In the beginning I didn't tell you for obvious reasons, Ciel." His eyes remained focused on my own, never so much as glancing at the gun pointing towards him. My hand was firm around the cold metal, I didn't even tremble.

"A criminal life. I was sure if you knew of our familial bond, it would do no good as to keep my cover, let alone what it'd do to you to know about your flesh and blood robbing banks and murdering people… not to mention kidnapping." My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, reliving the memories shortly before I focused back onto the conversation.

"Afterwards," He continued.

"-well, we both know what bloomed between us, Ciel. How could I share with you that we are brothers, albeit half-siblings, and not ruin what we had?" I scowled at that.

"We had nothing, Sebastian." His face didn't budge, not a single emotion crossing it as I venomously had denied our love affair.

"We did, Ciel. We had so much."

"You lied to me."

"Only to protect you." I snorted at that, anger making my hand holding the weapon, tremble for a split second.

"You've been so selfish. The only thing you were worried about was getting caught." Sebastian frowned at my words.

"No, no darling…" Silence followed and I was uncertain of what to say and what to feel. I had secretly imagined this day to happen, but now that it had arrived I had no clue as what to do.

I was angry at him. For having lied, for having lured me deeper into the relationship we once had. For nothing having stopped the emotions that had developed. For not having disabled me to love him in such a wrong way it would forever mess with my conscience. And I was so much more angry at myself for still possessing an amount of affection towards this man. For still having missed him all those seven years and for grasping a spark of happiness, seeing him here, in front of me.

He was still handsome as ever. He had aged, lost some weight and his raven black hair that clung to his beautiful face gave him an eerie look. Still… handsome.

"I… I'm married now." I said, for lack of better conversation. My heart thumped wildly.

"I know that." He smiled softly.

"And have a little girl." I continued, ignoring the fact that he knew of my personal life… after all he was a criminal, I'm sure he knew more about me than I'd ever know.

"That makes me an uncle, doesn't it?" Our eyes met over the barrel of the gun and I grimaced.

"I won't allow you to see her."

"I know that." He repeated in a whisper and I gnawed on my lip.

"Do you have any idea what you've done to me?" His brows furrowed and he nodded.

"Oh darling, I do realize that." I hated him for probably being right. I hated him for knowing what I had gone through and not having helped me at all. I hated this all because it gave me all the more reasons to hate him and in the back of my mind, deep in my heart, I wanted nothing more than to forgive him and love him like I had done so in the past.

"Why did you never come to get me?" I whispered, my hand holding the gun lowered only slightly.

"Ciel… baby… You know why I didn't." The wind whistled in my ears and I lowered my eyes for a second.

Of course I knew why he never came back for me. Because that's what had to be done from the beginning. It all should've stopped before it had begun. The rescuing had been necessary because neither one of us had been willing nor had have the power to end the irrational love affair.

"When you love someone," He began and I allowed him to cradle the barrel of the gun with his left hand. He gently pushed it down until my arm dropped, the gun slipped from my hand into the mud beneath and my head sagged even more as Sebastian stepped towards me.

The anger that had fueled my being only minutes ago had evaporated into a sadness and realization that now I would finally have to give up on 'us'… The day had come for our goodbye and for us to put this behind us.

I had never gotten over us in those seven years. I had moved forward, but the weight of Sebastian and me had always pressed down on my shoulders.

"- you just have to let them go." He whispered as he stood in front of me, his lips barely an inch away from the shell of my ear. My body leaned closer towards him, I could feel the heath radiating through the rain and wind.

"I set you free, Ciel." I gulped at his words, overwhelmed with the fact that I just wasn't ready to part from him.

"And when something you've let go, returns to you, that means it loves you, doesn't it?" He continued. I looked up and met his eyes, his smile was so soft… I had never seen such a smile, especially not from him.

"And that's okay, Ciel. It's okay to love me and it's okay that _we_ -more so _I_- made mistake in the past… And it's more so than okay to be hurt by this. After seven years you still love me, and that's fine…" His arm wrapped around my shoulders and he slowly pulled me against his soaked chest. My hands curled into fists against his body, gripping the wet fabric of his coat, tightly.

"But… I think Lizzie and Alexandra deserve your love more than I ever will." And I knew that was the truth.

"I think that you need to leave this behind, we both have to, in order for you to give yourself to your family as a whole…" His other arm cradled my frame as well and for the first time in years I felt small again. Small, frail and comfortingly caged in his arms.

"I never loved Lizzie like I loved you." I muttered against his chest, turning my head so my cheek rested against his body, heartbeat loud in my ears.

"There's a different love for everyone… that doesn't make it less genuine and sincere." He stroked my hair as he spoke the soothing words.

"Our love was sincere, Ciel, but it was not a healthy kind. It was a toxic eating away at both of us. It could never be… And I'm terribly sorry for having made the mistake to indulge on the sickening affair we had." I allowed his words to sink in. A truth I had always known but as well had fought for the sake of believing in the fairytale we had created for one another.

"Do it for Alexandra, for Lizzie." A beat.

"Do it for yourself, Ciel." I didn't reply, there were no words needed as we both knew what was best for us and we both knew that after seven years 'this', 'us' was finally over.

And it made me sad, sure, but I felt also happy for the first time in those seven years, if not for the first time in my whole life, because I was free and complete.

We stood like that, me in his arms, his nose buried in my hair, in a cocoon of rain and wind, for what seemed hours and perhaps it had indeed been hours. When we pulled apart, our eyes met and the smile on his face was more genuine than my mind could comprehend.

I returned the smile but I was sure that the puffiness of my eyes and the red nose didn't fool him in believing that all the streams on my cheeks were rain and not tears.

"Did you love me?" I uttered the words gently, no judgment, no regret.

"I do to this day." He hoarsed and I nodded.

"Okay." I sniffled but smiled and then picked up the gun next to my feet, soaked in mud. Without paying much attention I wiped it clean on the seam of my shirt, before tugging it back behind my belt.

I looked up at the man and another minute passed before he nodded.

"Okay." He repeated, neither of us wanting to say the 'goodbye' which was uncalled for because words were overrated at this point.

So I turned around after one last gaze at the man, sucking in the last image of Sebastian.

And as I paced slowly back off the hill, heart warm and conscience clean, I didn't need to look over my shoulder to know that he was already gone.

* * *

UGH

Epilogue later today.

Thanks for reading, please review~


	19. Epilogue: Lucky Number Thirteen

Here you go, lovebirds.

The last part of Number Thirteen.

I want to thank all of you for your support and patience. I want to thank all of you for hanging on to your feels because I'm a horrible dramatic-loving too-short-chapters loving-cliffhangers writer.

Please review to this last part. I'd love to read endless amounts of anything. Really, ramble on! What's your overall view on this? How do you feel now it's finished? What did you originally think would happen? etc etc.

A short 'good chapter' review is also always appreciated.  
And even those of you who never review but favorite my stories... I see you guys, I love you guys.

Wow, okay.  
Getting a bit emotional.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Epilogue.**

**~Lucky Number Thirteen~**

On Alexandra's thirteenth birthday was the last time I cried for Sebastian.

In all those years after I had parted from him on that rainy night in Italy, to the day of my daughter's thirteenth birthday, I had not cried for Sebastian. I had not grieved for us, I had not been angry, nor sad, not even particularly happy.

I had been content.

Knowing that the chapter of Sebastian and me had been sealed with a soothing kiss on each of our hearts.

But it was now that, with the envelope and little present for Alexandra in my hand, that I couldn't hold back the tears from streaming down my cheeks. My smile was small, genuine but sad.

The envelope and package were signed with a neat curly _~ Sebastian M. ~_ and I knew before opening the letter why I had received mail from Sebastian after all those years of zero contact.

I pulled out the paper of the envelope and my eyes slowly scanned over the obituary paper. It clearly was made only for me, I knew that Sebastian had been alone, no family as he had lived the life of a criminal on the run.

A second paper was clearly a letter to me and I took a shuddering breath, not ready yet to read what his last words were to me. I neatly folded the papers and put it back in the envelope, laying the latter in my desk drawer and locking it.

The little present said 'Alexandra' on it and I wondered if it had been coincidental that her present and his obituary had arrived on her birthday. Her thirteenth nonetheless.

* * *

I gave her present at six pm dinner.

Lizzie was not aware of Sebastian, not aware of what had happened in my past and I didn't feel I should ever burden her with that information. It was a closed chapter after all, a book I had shut and placed away to hopefully never open again, because it had been perfect the first read and a rerun would never do justice to its beauty again.

Lizzie didn't ask from where the present had come she just smiled as our daughter excitedly opened the small dark-blue package after I had told her it had been handed over to me from a long-lost friend.

When the familiar little box lied in her hands, I could feel my chest tightening and I bravely swallowed back the tears and grief as she pulled out an aged little charm.

"Oh wow, this is gorgeous!" She squeaked, showing us the small blue beckoning cat, holding an amulet with the number thirteen on it.

"It looks old!" And then, because we had raised her to be a beautiful young girl with healthy morals and a lack of prejudice.

"It adds so much character, doesn't it?" I nodded and smiled broadly, not missing how her large blue eyes quickly darted over my face. Her tiny frown told me she hadn't missed the puffy redness of my eyes but even at her young age she was intelligent enough to not mention it as she and I both knew there'd be a time and place for me to share with her my past.

"Isn't the number considered unlucky?" Lizzie asked with a frown, so similar to her daughter's. Her voice wasn't unkind though, just curious, knowing I'd probably have an explanation for it.

"Well, someone once told me…" I began, eyes locking with Alexandra's big blue orbs. Her mouth slightly agape as she waited in awe for what I was about to say.

"That there is no perfection in life. With every good comes the bad and with bad comes good. There exists no life without flaw…" Sebastian's words rang in my head at the heart-warming memory and I continued, this time literally quoting the man, Alexandra's uncle, who had passed away.

"Nevertheless, I wish that all bad luck in your life will be turned around into a fortunate future." A pause.

"And I'm sure that's why the thirteen is on the amulet of the beckoning cat." Lizzie smiled and I shortly brushed my knuckles over Alexandra's cheek.

"That makes a lot of sense, daddy. I'm sure that person was very smart to have shared such information with you." My heart clenched once again.

"He was brilliant. I consider myself lucky for having met him."

"I consider myself lucky with this charm." She smiled, carefree and open, hugging the tiny figurine to her chest.

And I believed her.

* * *

_Dear Ciel,_

_There is not much left to say because words will come out short._

_I don__'__t want this to be a goodbye letter and even though this is the first and last letter you__'__ll ever receive from me, I want you to know that I never have nor will part from your side._

_My love for you never stopped growing and I__'__m glad that after so many years I learned to get rid of the toxic and be left only with adoration of you._

_I look up to you._

_As a friend, a lover, a brother and a man.I simply am overwhelmed with a sense of respect and adoration for everything you are and do._

_My knowledge reaches far enough to know that you are and forever will be the perfect father and husband to your family. My conscience has been swept clean enough for me to indulge on the love I have always felt for you. _

_It does not hurt to pass on, it does not hurt to part from you because you__'__re simply a part of me and I wouldn__'__t have it any other way._

_But, it does hurt to know you will cry while reading this letter._

_Ciel, I want you to promise to yourself to never cry over me again, after this. I want you to only think of me on the rarest of occasions and when those moments arrive, I want you to smile and accept only content._

_Life is never perfect. The brightest light will still cast a shadow somewhere, somehow. But Ciel__…_

_As I have told you before._

_There was nothing and will never be anything that can take away the light you brought into my life, shining so bright it was blinding me from every shadow.._

_For that and everything more,_

_I thank you._

_From the bottom of my heart._

_I love you._

_Kind regards,_

_Sebastian M._

* * *

**THE END.**

**_Hate the sins, not the sinner._**

* * *

OH GAWD... *cries*

AAaaaaaanyway

This kinda was a happy ending, right?  
Anyways, thanks for reading, thanks for sticking with me on this story and please review.

Love you guys, I hope to hear from you soon.  
Goodbyeeee


	20. INFO! ALTERNATE ENDING

You guys, I decided to write an **Alternate Ending for Number Thirteen!**

A few of you requested this and I feel like this story could have an Alternate Ending because there's a few things I wanted to have in this story but couldn't include because of the initial plotline.

So yeah, I'd say two weeks at the most for the Alternate Ending, but I'm drinking coffee and it's past midnight and I feel inspirational so perhaps I'll be able to finish it tonight? Can't promise though.

Okay, see you guys soon!

_PS. To those who requested an other ending for Weeping Willow, I'm sorry but I think I should not touch that story anymore, to me that ending was perfect and the only way it could've ended._


	21. Alternate Ending

Here you go my patient, lovely sweethearts.

Thanks for the support, the reviews and everything else.  
Enjoy and know that I will miss you all so much omfg!

Please review!

* * *

**Number Thirteen**

**Alternate Ending**

I never managed to confront Sebastian about the papers I found and about him being my half-brother, my blood, my family. Because not even a minute after having slid the papers back underneath the small cabin a knock had fell on the door.

My body had stirred, sudden eerie nostalgia creeping over me as I remembered the Claude and Bard incident, even though Claude had been killed (not that I was 100% sure of that), there still was Bard and even Undertaker.

But then a male voice called out Sebastian's last name with a polite 'Mr.' before it and then afterwards my heart sunk into my stomach with the words that informed me my life _here_ would be taken away.

"Mr. Michaelis, this is the police, if you don't open this door we will have to force it open."

I had risen from my position on the floor and simply had opened the door.

Sure, it could've have been 'bad guys', it could've been a trap. But I had done it, following my gut instinct and indeed when I opened the door, my eyes met the barrel of a massive handgun.

My eyes had glanced over the gun, not even hiding that it had taken my breath away and I could see a couple of what seemed to be F.B.I. members. Their clothes all black, bulletproof vest, heavy Doc Martens boots, ski-masks and an endless amount of equipment stuck to the belts around their hips.

There had been at least seven rifles and shotguns pointed at me, but I couldn't care less.

I had thought and believed so badly that I had actually 'enjoyed' being with Sebastian, robbed from my freedom, because I had indeed been madly in love with the abuser… But when I stood here, in arm's grasp of safety, I just gave up on believing my lies and sank to the floor.

The man who had held out the shotgun to me, seemed to be a detective of some sort. He didn't wear the S.W.A.T. a-like outfit (yet did have a bulletproof vest). Either way he had barely managed to keep me from sinking to the floor, catching me mid-air.

After that everything's a blur. I got carried outside, shoved -determinedly albeit gently- into an ambulance and distantly took in the whines of police sirens and the deafening mutters of countless people around me.

I think I lost consciousness when the ambulance doors closed after me, knowing everything would be taken care off.

* * *

Only three months later the police had stopped interrogating me. They had come to a dead end. Sebastian had seemed to have disappeared from the planet and with the little information I had on him, they couldn't continue the case.

They highly recommended for me to get to counseling, to see a therapist, but I refused. I was determined to not allow Sebastian having a grasp on my life like this. I denied any lingering scarring of trauma. I was okay. Perfectly fine.

When I confronted my mother about a half-brother she told me she had heard about him but had never met him. Apparently Sebastian had been somewhat a black sheep to the family. A cancer no one wanted to mention.

Yet, the cancer that was Sebastian had grown on me, he had planted the seed of disease at the moment we had met and it seemed that now it had just begun to grow into my conscience… As if I had been draining it from water all those months in the man's company and now suddenly it fed off my anxiety.

I did manage though, I was troubled and hurt and quite traumatized but I actually believed I'd make it.

But then it happened.

* * *

Throughout the brutal rape I had come to wish for Sebastian to come rescue me and ended up hating the man for having enemies who would decide that their ideal vengeance would be to rape me.

As far as I knew all three men were 'colleagues' of Claude who -if I could believe any of the men having broken into my apartment- indeed had been killed by Sebastian.

It all didn't happen fast enough. They stayed for what seemed hours and probably had been. They took turns or didn't even bother to wait their turn and just found any free hole to occupy.

The disgust and desperation was far worse than the physical pain of being raped dry and unstretched. In the beginning I had screamed, kicked, fought and begged, but by the end of it I lied on my own bed, disheveled, gazing at the wall, blocking out their moans and laughter.

They left, eventually but they stayed in my being for as long as I could not get over what had happened to me… And neither did I believe it was something I could ever overcome.

* * *

Seasons passed by and it was on the sixth winter after the rape I decided it was time to do something about the lingering flame inside of me. A fire wanted to be lit with vengeance. An oil I could only get with finding Sebastian and spilling my guts on the man. To confront him what he'd done to me. How he'd left me alone without any message or news of him actually being alive in the first place.

But I knew he was alive. Maybe I didn't want to believe he was actually dead, but without any proof of his passing, I could not rest the possibility of meeting him and telling him everything he had ruined for me.

I also blamed him for the rape. If it hadn't been for him… all this would've never happened. I would not be jobless in my mid-twenties, living in a small apartment which didn't have warm water half of the time and such bad electricity wiring that I had to change at least two light bulbs every month. Not to mention the cold that effortlessly seeped in through the single-glass windows.

The years had passed without me doing anything. I didn't have hobbies, I didn't have friends -not anymore- and hadn't seen my family for a year. After I stopped picking up the phone when they called, they slowly on realized it was a lost cause and just left me be.

That's what I was doing… I was just being, existing but not at all living. I was numb on the inside, the only emotion inside of me; anger and self-loathing.

My nights were haunted with nightmares too explicit to recall without growing nauseas. My days were haunted with the self-pity I had sagged into. It was easy. It was easy to just wallow away like this and not take the blame on myself, to not recognize it was I who was the one who could turn things over and change. I blamed Sebastian. For every single thing going wrong.

But as of right now, I got fueled every day again to find out Sebastian's whereabouts and thus I spent my days looking for him in every sense of the word.

As well as online I also naively sought for him in the city and outside. It took another year before I met him… and it wasn't even because of my doing but just a coincidence in the silly meaning of the word… coincidence was no longer something I believed in.

* * *

He was beautiful. As beautiful as I remembered him to be even though I tried to consciously despise his every nudge and crook and smile and scowl, subconsciously I always had remembered his every gorgeous aspect -inside and out-.

Too bad I was too drunk out of my mind to fully appreciate seeing him again… let alone the burden on my shoulders he had left alongside the spite I felt towards him.

I bumped into him after a night out of drinking… Well actually, it had been a night inside as I didn't even go out, my social phobia having reached its peek. The thing that had brought me outside on the streets at three in the morning was the empty state of my alcohol cabinet. I needed more booze, more booze to drown out the sorrow I felt every night again, more booze to kill the nausea and headache the earlier glasses (bottles) of whiskey had brought upon me.

And here I was. Having literally bumped into the man I had been looking for this past year -and the years before that albeit I was still not willing to admit to this-.

He didn't look as shocked to see me as I surely looked like and I wasn't stupid enough to believe he was New York city, in my town for the sake of roaming streets in the middle of the night looking his perfect self. I bit down the excited flutter deep in my heart at the thought of him having tracked me down as I had since changed apartments more than I could count on one hand. I always ended up getting kicked out because I rather spent my money on alcohol than on rent… and occasionally had trashed the place because the memories were just too hard to bare and I had to destroy objects in order not to destroy myself with the agonizing self-pestering that had been going on ever since that night.

Sebastian didn't say anything. He just stood there, his face leaning more towards angry than happy but not a spot of sadness to be seen or shown. The black suit he was wearing reminded me of the first time I had seen him storming into his office. His face was lined a bit more with age, but it only added to his attractiveness.

His dark eyes roamed over my body, frail and ill-looking with years of alcohol abuse and lack of food, sleep, anything. He scowled, obviously not pleased with my current state and I wished I could be angry over this. I wish I could be angry at my half-sibling for judging me on having taken poor care of myself while everything had been his fault to begin with.

The taller man grabbed my wrist and started to walk and even though me initial instinct had been to pull my wrist free, I gave up after one sad excuse of a tug and followed meekly.

We didn't speak a word, he didn't even look at me, just dragged me along the narrow alleyways of downtown NY. The cold night air started to sting my skin and I realized I was coming down from my drunken high… which only made emotions seep back to the surface.

It wasn't until after he had shoved me into his car, driven for half an hour, pulled me back out and then shoved me into his hotel room that I had woken up from the numbing buzz of intoxication.

And that's when I punched him into the face while he was in the process of turning back around to face me as he had been closing the hotel door behind our backs.

He didn't even look surprised as his hand came to rest on his pinkening cheek, his eyes drilled into mine instead, with a sense of acceptation.

It only angered me further. It was a metaphorical punch to my self-denial.

"D-do you have any idea what you've done to me?" My voice shook as I spoke the first words to the man I had known so well in the past and had adored with every fiber of my being. The past seemed awfully far away at this moment.

He lowered his hand back beside his body and just looked at me, waiting patiently for me to continue. And I fucking hated it! I fucking hated it that he understood everything and that he blamed me for nothing!

"Do you know, do you realize what you've left me with? All those years I've…" I didn't even know where to start. I didn't know how to begin and describe nearly six years of emotional instability, of self-pity and loathing, of troubles, trauma's, nightmares and hatred. But most of all, the numbness. The sensation that I had just lost those last five years of my life because those had simply not been lived.

"I've never been whole after you." My eyes shifted from his face to the door behind him, not at all in wishful thinking to escape but more so because the more I looked at him, the more my gaze became blurry with growing tears.

"You shattered me." I whispered, not daring my voice to increase it's volume because I feared it would break.

"Y-you… I got left alone with this shell of… I… You took everything with you. You left me with nothing but pity and anger." A beat and I frowned as my eyes fell back on his face, shamefully trying to soak up every detail of him I had forgotten over the years.

"A human-being can't function on those emotions… a-and then there's the numbness I learned to use as a cover… A metaphorical soaked blanket I can throw over the fire of negativity." Something in Sebastian's face softened at that and it only made me feel worse. I had wished for him to be irrational and tell me what I wanted to hear… Tell me it was all his fault and make me believe it had nothing to do with my own incapability to get over it, to fight, to pick up the pieces of myself and glue them back together.

But I rather make up the excuse that said pieces were too shattered to ever fix back… and that's that.

"A-and you never… Never so much as wondered how I was doing did you? You never bothered to track me down, to send a letter, something… Something to let me know you're alive. That you're still out there somewhere and-"

"Would that have made a difference?" Hearing his voice again for the first time in over half a decade broke me even more and I had to take several deep breaths before I could process his words and answer to them.

"Yes, of course it would've made a difference!" I shouted this time, angered with his ignorance, but secretly more so at my own.

"Would that have gotten you over us? After our goodbye would remained contact have helped you forget about me?" He spoke in an icy-cold tone, but his eyes flickered with intensity which couldn't fool me.

"I did it for your own good, Ciel. I did it to give you a new chance, to protect you, to-" I laughed at that.

"Protect me? PROTECT ME?!" My voice cracked as I laughed at him.

"Where were you then when I needed you most? Where were you when they- those men, when they…" I couldn't continue, realizing too late that the rape was not something I wanted to share with anyone, let alone Sebastian. The event still left me with a vile taste in my mouth, it shamed me.

Sebastian's eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"Nothing." I hissed, clenching my jaws and holding back the tears as the night got replayed in every vivid detail. I could never forget it, the pain, the sounds, the scents… the flavors.

"Ciel." He growled underneath his breath as he grabbed my upper arm, squeezing hard as he stepped into my personal space.

"What men?" I lowered my eyes, not able to deal with his close presence.

"Ciel, answer me or I swear to God…" Sebastian hissed, grabbing my other arm as well and holding me close, his eyes seeking out mine.

I was so angry at him… So angry he didn't even know what had happened, so angry because he should've known, he should've stopped them and should've rescued me. And I was so angry at myself because I used this as the perfect excuse to wallow away. I used Sebastian as the scapegoat, as the source and cause of my every disability to deal with myself.

But I couldn't tell him. I wouldn't tell him ever.

My eyes looked back up to meet his gaze and I ignored the soothing, nostalgic scent of his breath as it fanned out over my face.

"Claude's men." I mumbled. Sebastian's jaws clenched, as did his hands on my arms. I hissed at the pain but he didn't notice my cowering.

"What did they do to you?" He whispered, his voice barely managing to swallow back the absolute rage that obviously flamed across his face.

I looked into his eyes, deeply, nearly drowning… But I didn't speak, I couldn't tell him the truth. His gaze flickered over my face, his irises shifting as his mind tried to think of what could've happened back then.

"Ciel." He urged on, face falling into desperation and I feared he was figuring out everything. I couldn't bear the shame it would bring upon me if the man knew… But in the back of my head I also realized that I didn't want him to blame himself over this, let alone seek out vengeance and get himself killed.

"They did nothing." I hissed, tears rolling down my face freely as I snarled at him but more so at the memory of what I've been through.

"Those pigs didn't do a fucking thing to me, okay?" Sebastian remained silent, his eyes looking over my face, his expression worried. It broke my heart in some sense.

"Okay?" I repeated, urging him to believe the obvious lie and as I saw his eyes tear up I doubted he believed me.

"Okay." He mumbled, pulling me into his arms and against his chest. He cradled the back of my head with his right hand as I began to break down. I sobbed almost hysterically as I relived all those years without the man. All those years of hating myself and hating him because I couldn't deal with myself and had to blame anything, anyone.

We stayed like that longer than I could count. Nearly six years of agony finally pouring out of my system into the arms of the man I wanted to hate but now realized I still loved. A man who had done nothing wrong and had indeed done everything for my sake. A man who had said his goodbye and had left me on my own to keep me safe… to allow me to deal with everything and get further along the path of life without his presence holding me back. And albeit it had not worked out like he had meant to -my fault or his', it didn't matter- … it had all brought us back together in the end.

* * *

Another winter had passed and I now lived in a warm country, in a small apartment and having a comfortable job around the block as a waiter.

I felt better than I ever had. Gone was the numbness, the self-loathing, the anger and hatred. Some things I would never be able to forget but I had learned to deal with them so everything became bearable.

The alcohol-abuse was nonexistent and my diet was back to healthy and regular. Needless to say I didn't look one bit like the pale shadow only a year ago. I had some color on my cheeks, no more bag beneath my eyes and my ribs didn't look like they could snap through my skin any moment, any longer.

With a hum I stretched my body, enjoying the warmth on my skin coming from the sunrays that had sneaked inside through the gap of my bedroom curtains.

A groan fell when I accidentally bumped my elbow in something warm beside me. My eyes roamed lazily to my right and my beginning smile only widened at the ruffled mess of black hair peeking from beneath the thin white blanket.

"Good morning…" I muttered before yawning obscenely loud, earning a displeased grunt from the man beside me.

I smacked my lips, grinning as Sebastian eventually turned around on his back, scowling at me.

My smile widened and it took exactly one second before he couldn't help returning the affectionate look.

"Good morning, love." He hoarsed, stretching his body and chuckling as I took the opportunity of his raised arms, to crawl against his bare chest.

"Slept well?" He asked me, kissing the top of my head as his hand cradled my body closer to his' before he started drawing circles onto my hipbone with light fingertips.

"Yes."

"No nightmares?"

"No." I smiled truthfully. I hadn't had a single nightmare for eight months now. Life was going good… perfect even. Sebastian had told me, that night in the hotel room, that he had been sorry for everything I had gone through (although I never told him about the rape, I was pretty sure he was apologizing for this because he had been in tears) and that he had worked those past five years to get out of the crime business… then the words 'I'm a free man now.' had changed everything.

He was free, free to go and stand where he pleased to and still he had asked me to join him now that we were both safe.

And so we moved to another country the day after and I had never looked back ever since. We lived together which was so much different than how it used to have been back when he had been my 'kidnapper'.

It seemed like everything had started with a clean slate. No more past to haunt us, no more emotion, scar or trauma to prevent me from being happy and from loving the man who just happened to be my half-sibling… which was the least of my worries.

"What would you like to do today… we have all day to ourselves." Sebastian's voice rumbled through his chest and I hummed at the vibrations in my ear which pressed closely against his skin… His heart thumped happily, steadily.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Nothing?"

"It's the thirteenth today… I'd rather just lie in bed all day with you, if that's alright?" The man remained silent at my request and I craned my neck to look up at him. He kissed my forehead before meeting my eyes and smiled softly, the wrinkles around his eyes melting my heart.

"Anything for you, sweetheart."

And I then realized I was grateful for everything I had gone through. Every step on the road of confusion and despair had led me right to where I had wanted to be all my life, albeit the destination I had been roaming towards had been unknown all that time.

I had fought and fallen down many times, but in the end I had gotten back up and rampaged towards my destiny. The saying that one can not experience total happiness until one has experienced the deepest falls… made perfect sense to me now. Because the higher you go, the deeper you will fall. But in the deepest pits you come to embrace the sunlight that waits at the top.

**END**

* * *

What, a happy ending? me? writing a happy ending? yes people... yes... I DO HAVE A HEART

I think it was interesting to write this to see how a person's path can change dramatically with the same past.

Well there you have it, thanks again for your loyalty and patience and lovin'

send me some last sugary reviews will ya?

thanks and until the next one! Love you guys!


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